Waxing Crescent Moon

 rain rain rain, beautiful cleansing rain. all day. then amazingly thick patches of fog driving home from work!

we did the best we could

 two hawk drive to work. rick was on fire today, and really had me laughing. kaylie is my rock. good fire in the woodstove, good beer from Adroit theory, good cats.

New Moon

 in Aquarius. i am handling things better today, well that is to say "not in a full on panic". get some stuff done before work. first half of the work day is a weirdness parade.

today's good things

 library visit, beer lunch with Lora, warmer weather, visit to"doggie delights" to get quality cat treats, split firewood and get the woodstove going, then reading

Not Today

unable to get my shit together whatsoever. unable to handle any of this horror show. crying on the way to work, crying at work. thanks to melissa & kaylie i am able to ride it out. (p.s. i did see three hawks on the drive!)

stayed in bed until almost 11 a.m., low energy day. work was a drag. but!!! did see three of my favorite customer/friends, so there's that. ah, we did the best we could.

"The Shape I'm In"

 i did two out of four tasks today, good not great. not going to beat myself up about this in light of the world's status, going to settle and relax into warmth, cats & reading, with a beer. but ohhhh, it hit me hard to read of Garth Hudson's death. the last member of The Band still alive!!

 Tyga and Panther both wanted to go outside today, albeit for a short time. But i too felt the difference in the air, and welcomed it.

a quick glimpse of the Moon before cloud cover moved in, before going in to work.....getting to see Kay, and hugging them forever and crying on their shoulder, then going for tacos & nachos!!.....driving home after doing some errands and seeing the sun setting beneath cloud cover in the embrace of the mountain, a bright vermilion glow held close by the Blue Ridge

 Moonrise tangerine glow, waning Crescent in Libra, viewed through the trees. A deep exhale and release of tension.

dream segment

 standing with Odessa and another woman, when a man walks over closer to O. and says, "so you realize that i have been staring at you with intent to kill" (paraphrasing here). immediately i begin to move in between them as he gets closer to her. i gradually get right in his face, looking in his eyes unflinchingly, asking him does he realize that i will kill him if he does any harm to her and tell him to get away, to leave immediately. he smells of alcohol with meanness in his eyes. he turns and walks away, talking to himself as he does so.

Morning has broken

 A feeling of uselessness, of futility. Not grounded, not centered, not capable.

 Feeling anxious, unsettled, unable to get anything accomplished.

Imagine treating your child like a person.

 Two hawks, three feet apart on a power line, hunting. Bongo in my face for attention, licks my nose every time i look at him. Flurries when we walk out of Wegman's. A good IPA from Other Half Brewing. Excellent conversation. Laughter and just being together.

Moonset/Sunrise

Toggling between joy at the beauty of everything and the abject horror of human hubris.

Good coffee

Awoke from numerous dreams to a gorgeous sunrise. Feeling slightly out of sorts mentally, but i pull it together for the most part as the morning progresses. 

Moonday

 Driving to Ocelot Brewery today, I had two wonderful things happen. First, saw 5 pheasants flush across the road before, and after me. Beautiful! Then, on Braddock Road, i saw a bald eagle. Wait, make that three things, because when i got to the brewery, Noel was working, and i got to tell her all the things! Felt so much happiness, did some good writing. Came home and split some more firewood. Astounding Moonrise. Venus and Saturn in the West. Gorgeous evening.

morning coffee

The rising Sun casts woodsmoke shadows on the maple tree, a woodpecker taps for food, a squirrel runs around the trunk. 

dream segment

 I am walking across the parking lot to go into the store because i need to do a return of the Honeycomb cereal bag i carry in my hand. I steer wide past the event that is occurring in the parking lot because it is work related. My co-workers are involved in a water-dunking type thing where they try to drop Rick into the water, some of them call out to me, but i keep walking to go inside. I am on vacation, and do not want to be seen, so wonder why i have come here! Once there at the customer service desk, i am next in line. Two Lewis brothers are working the desk. They are not trained do so. The person in front of me is also trying to get a refund. The brothers see me in line and call out to me to come help them. Heavy sigh, but i do so. As i begin to show them what to do, i quickly realize that the entire system has been changed while i was on vacation. The customer we are trying to help is a pharmacy employee, and she begins to try to tell us what to do. It is not helpful. The screen slides all around, not letting us hit on the areas we need. It is so frustrating!! Finally we achieve some sort of goal, and we give her a refund. I go get back in line. Dreading whatever comes next with my refund! As i am standing there waiting, Kyle comes over and leans into me to see how i am doing.

"How was your vacation?"

 I have gone completely feral this week.

 An absolute laze-fest of a day. Even wanted to go get in bed before before 5 p.m., but made a mug of green tea with mint instead. Had another fine phone conversation with Aaron around 1 p.m. Tyga & Panther are a little upset that i did not go out and get some can treat today. Greylin has seemed satisfied with his kibble. Hahahaa. I did dishes (yay), but did not feel like cooking, so sandwich it was. Reading and relaxing, slight brain sluggishness. Ah well.

deep thoughts about today

Began the day with another deep vermilion sunrise, after some very detailed dreaming. While i felt some "back-to-work soon" anxiety, i also settled into a more comfortable vibe as i decided to NOT go out for a couple of errands. Not yet. Just one more day of snowy isolation, thank you. But then again, not totally! because i had scheduled a phone call with Aaron for the afternoon! And let me just say that it was fabulous. Three hours later, feeling refreshed after such a deep connection, i went outside and split some more firewood. Brought it in, and am now reaping the warm benefits.

Contentment

 From the vermilion Sunrise to the candles lit on the mantel, today has been a day of the small pleasures of life. Toasted bagel with peach preserves, putting out peanuts for the Crows, multiple cat snacks!! Doing dishes, splitting some firewood. Spaghetti for dinner! Lots of reading. A good day.

More Snow & Life

 Drinking coffee by the woodstove it comes to me that i am glad i had not yet Winter-ized the garden, because so many birds have been eating seeds from the plant stalks. Then this thinking of seeds naturally becomes thinking of this Spring's garden and here i am, visualizing growing vegetables while there is over a foot of snow on the ground. An absolute delight.

Snow and Life

Upon awakening, the first thing i smelled was my own death. A very sobering realization. Pun intended. Fortunately a foot of snow had fallen while i slept, so this was an inspiring moment, and not at all dispiriting. Busy activity at the bird feeder, and crows calling for more peanuts.

Peacefulness

 Waiting on the snow, I can smell it in the air. Building the fire back up in the woodstove, glad to be home from work. Many candles, many scents. Purring cats.

Thryothorus ludovicianus

 Carolina Wrens like the woodpile. They also use the cat-door to come onto the screen porch. A pair has been out there all morning, pecking around, going back out, coming back in. Love these little cuties so much.

 Carrying logs to the splitter. Standing more on the patio in the sun. Moving slowly, with a focus on body, foot placement, posture. Breathing and feeling the clean cold air. Then working the splitter after a little maintenance. Fill up the wheelbarrow and stack some on the hearth. Simple and satisfying work.

The Raptors of Friday

 Driving to the hardware store on a layered cloud day, I see six Hawks and two Kestrals. Not to be left out of this count are the numerous Vultures and Crows! A satisfying errand run all around.

Algebraic Expression

 If only my brain remembered Algebra instead of all the stupid and cruel things that men have said to me over the decades.