Tuesdays @ Fosters...

I'm sitting at the bar reading the poem
"All Watched Over By Machines of Loving Grace"
which Brautigan wrote in 1967. 1967!!
And suddenly I'm welling up with tears for the beauty of him,
and the loss of him,
and I want the entire world to read this poem.

So, here:

"All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace"
I like to think (and
the sooner the better!)
of a cybernetic meadow
where mammals and computers
live together in mutually
programming harmony
like pure water
touching clear sky.

I like to think
(right now please!)
of a cybernetic forest
filled with pines and electronics
where deer stroll peacefully
past computers
as if they were flowers
with spinning blossoms.

I like to think
(it has to be!)
of a cybernetic ecology
where we are free of our labors
and joined back to nature,
returned to our mammal
brothers and sisters,
and all watched over
by machines of loving grace.

Thank you, Richard

I love a night-bloomer!

The last of the Evening Primroses (Oenothera) in their full glory. There would have been more this year, but the deer found them too tasty to resist. (Insert heavy sigh here)...

And yet, as it turned out, the remaining stalks continued to bloom right up until the first frost; just one or two blooms at a time! Fabulous!

Beer & a Book...

'The Story of Edgar Sawtelle' is an intriguing, deep story. Dogs! Complex emotions, unexpected events! I loved it.

"Scarlet Lady Ale" is a delightful ESB from Stoudt's Brewing Company in Adamstown Pennsylvania. Lots of flavor, lovely color. I must find more brews from this company.

"Catch-22"

Exercise cures depression.
When I am depressed, it is a monumental act to just get out of bed.

Propriety...

I walk down my driveway to the mailbox, a cup of coffee in one hand and the outgoing mail in the other. I am mildly embarrassed; I am wearing my pajamas! Later in the day I walk down to retrieve the mail which has arrived, a cold beer (Sam Adams Cherry Wheat) in hand. I am not embarrassed. I am wearing my string bikini!

Beer & a Book..."Spring Edition"...

'Fire In The Lake' by Frances Fitzgerald is a deeply researched and intimate foray into the mind of Vietnam. It was a fantastic & interesting read. I've had this book for so long! Finally read it, and very glad for the fact. I learned a lot.

"Troegenator" is a tasty, carmel-y double bock out of the Troeg Brothers brewery in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Highly recommended.

Piece of a dream...

i am watching a video about a band named " ---", one of the guys reaches out and squooshes anothers face as he says the band's name, he has red curly hair and a beard... they've just had a new album come out...they are a Scottish rock band, one female & three males...the music sounds really good!

(eclogue)

the morning mist lies heavy
on the fields in
the lowlands

there is a chuck jones cartoon playing across the sky
sam & ralph clock in
and it begins

Word of the Day

eclogue
Meaning: a poem in which shepherds converse

Thank you, Merriam Webster, for this entry. But, seriously? What a niche genre!!! Would any one care to submit a poem in this style?

(untitled)

longing for the sound
whip-poor-will on the back stoop
singing summer nights

rain like drums

i am terrified
i am scared
i am not centered
time is roaring past me
i need to stop
and see
i need to feel
i need to be

unease

I am not centered.
I am scared.

5:00 a.m.

clear mind of chatter
focus on lilting bird song
early spring morning

dream segment...

i am hanging out with a Gypsy performance troupe which has come to the area...one of the men and i fall in love with each other...it is sweet and dark and intense...as the days go by, he is talking about some of the trials of his life, as he speaks, the pain is visible on his face, even to the point of physical change, as if the pain causes a rash which is an indicator of the severity of experience...another time he says that soon one of must go or one of us must stay to which i reply, "oh yes"...another time i am looking deeply into his face, clear now of the pain...as the troupe is packing, getting ready to depart, it seems that i have decided to go with them, he throws a beautiful brown dress (which is folded) at me,but i note a frown in his eyes and don't know why, then one of the troupe members, a female, naked, with long curly red hair dances up to him and they do a tease routine together...i notice that he looks at me sidelong and i realize that he is testing me, that he must gage my reaction to this routine...after all, they are a performance troupe, and do this stuff every town they visit...i look on thinking all this, and trying to figure out how i feel about it, i give a smirking laugh then.....

the alarm wakes me up and i don't know how i decided to react...

midnight

i reach deep into my innermost being and
bring out a ball of pain which i
hold in my hand, saying "this is that which is holding me back from life"
you reach out, and lifting the orb from my palm
say "i will take this from you and
destroy the anguish"

dream segment

i find a broken skateboard (which is Melian's i think) and instead of throwing it away, i inspect it closely, then begin skating on it...i coast around the patio, cruising over to say "hi" to someone who lives there (is it my house???) then i coast over past Melian to show her...

Russian dream...

i am walking around a department/clothing store in Russia...as i pass through the Men's Department, i notice that there are a lot of very cute young men looking through the shirts...they all have hipster haircuts...some of them are wearing headbands, some sunglasses...most all of them are wearing and/or looking at open plaid oxford shirts...i think of how i need to tell Melian about this amazing array of cute Russian guys, so i call her on my cell phone...

EARTH HOUR 2009

Candles and woodstove fire. Talk about movies we've seen recently, and Roman history. Laugh a lot. Play with and love up Rhiannon. Melian plays "Animal Crossing" on the DS. The cats lounge about and come over for head rubs. Joonie attacks my hair, and purrs. (March 28th, 8:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.)

slice of dreaming...

i come back home from work and there is a lot going on at the house where i live...lots of people...preparations being made for some sort of event...joey is there helping with the music...i am trying to remember a certain song, and am having no luck, so i grab a laptop that no one is using and try to search it out...the laptop grows increasingly difficult to use; the buttons grow smaller and the search capabilities more and more esoteric...

3/16/2009...moon in Sagittarius...

apply myself in detail to those things that matter to me
pay attention to
those things that i love
settle into
what brings me peace of mind and contentment

of late
my attention diffused and wandering
in depression/it
has given me a sense of time flying away
a feeling of fatality and pointlessness
of self