Lessons Not Yet Learned

"Congress is not preparing to defend the people of the United States. It is planning to protect the capital of American speculators and investors.... Incidentally this preparation will benefit the manufacturers of munitions and war machines.... Strike against war, for without you no battles can be fought! Strike against manufacturing shrapnel and gas bombs and all other tools of murder! Strike against preparedness that means death and misery to millions of human beings! Be not dumb, obedient slaves in an army of destruction! Be heroes in an army of construction!"

-Helen Keller at Carnegie Hall January 5, 1916

An On-Going Thing Of Beauty...

This is The Style, and really; everyone MUST know. Please, join us in the wonderful, the exhilarating, "Pays-Bas Cycle Chic".

Let's Catch Up On Some Dreaming...

i have just had another baby...it seems to be my daughter again, like a melian junior. which is odd, but cool...i am nursing her in various different settings...people are talking with me, i am hanging out with friends, all is very happy...she does a big poo, so then i am putting her on the changing table for a new diaper...she becomes much like a doll as i turn her to clean her and try to put on the new diaper...in the stillness of her body she is more difficult to handle...she falls...she has on a miniature ball cap with the bill forward which protects her face...i pick her up and get the new diaper on her...

i am at what seems to be a border...could it be between VA and PA???, because over the barrier i am talking with Aaron, and he is a white oxford shirt & tie-wearing "Giant Food" manager...he is talking on the phone, but he is also talking with me...oh! it is so good to see him! we talk between the business interruptions...

i am at the porch & side yard area of my house...a very large flock of birds comes around the trees nearby...it is beautiful and fascinating...there are people visiting, and i am talking with them when i notice a new influx of birds, but this is really unusual & remarkable, for a tremendous flock of parrots has arrived! I gasp as i notice the first one, which lands on the screen and squawks...i hurry to look outside; it is a living rainbow! parrots everywhere...then i also notice cockatoos, cockatiels and african greys! they are all over, and many children are looking at them and milling around amongst them!

Books & Beers...

While reading 'Shadowrise' and 'Shadowheart' by Tad Williams, I was fortunate enough to be able to enjoy this quality craft beer selection: "Punk IPA", "Oxymoron", "Islander IPA", "Sanctuary", "Glacier Harvest '10" from Harpoon Brewery's 100 Barrel series; a wet hop ale, "Creek Ale" from Chatoe Rogue's First Growth series using their own hops & barley, and "Reunion '10" from Terrapin; a Belgian style scotch ale. (more details to follow)

dream segment

I am incinerating a huge pile of clothing when i realize wait!!! i could be donating these in the Planet Aid box!!! so i stop and begin to collect...

My Last Wineglass

Craft Brew 2010

• Theobroma – Dogfish Head Craft Brewery, Milton DE

• The “CENSORED” - Lagunitas Brewing Company, Petaluma CA

• Pale Ale – Mountaineer Brewing Company, Martinsburg WV

• Porter – Duck Rabbit

• Milk Stout – Duck Rabbit

• Samurai – Great Divide

• Octoberfest – Stoudts...

• Little Sumpin' – Lagunitas...

• ESB – Mad Fox

• Best Brown Ale – Bell's...

• Belgian Black – Blue Mountain...

• Pumpkin Ale – Vintage 50...

• Dry Hopped Bitter – Vintage 50...

• Fall Festivus Ale – Cricket Hill, NJ

• Hell Or High Watermelon - 21^st Amendment Brewery

• Porter – Thirsty Dog

• Warrior IPA – Left Hand...

• Fresh Hop pale ale – Great Divide...

• Chocolate Bock – Samuel Adams...

• Holiday Porter- Samuel Adams...

• Encore – Magic Hat...

• Odd Notion Winter '10 – Magic Hat...

• India Copper Ale – Saranac...

• Lake Effect Lager – Saranac...

• Vanilla Stout – Saranac...

• Yellow Snow IPA - Rogue....
  

this is not a full list, as I suffered some data loss earlier in the year...

Books Read 2010

• Saigon, Illinois by Paul Hoover

• Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons

• Breaking & Entering by Joy Williams

• The Last Election by Pete Davies

• Promise Of The Wolves by Dorothy Hearst

• Dancing In The Dark by Janet Hobhouse

• Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson

• Methland by Nick Reding

• True Confections by Katherine Weber

• Life & Fate by Vasily Grossman

• Timbuktu by Paul Aster

• Just Kids by Patti Smith

• Oscar Wilde by Richard Ellmann

• Walt Whitman/A Life by Justin Kaplan

• The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett

• Road Dogs by Elmore Leonard

• The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barberry

• The Weaker Vessel by Antonia Fraser

• The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

• Pure Lust by Mary Daly

• Outercourse by Mary Daly, 1992

• Quintessence by Mary Daly, 1998

• The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, 2006

• The Greatest Show On Earth by Richard Dawkins, 2009

• American Fascists, by Chris Hedges, 2006

• Murder In The Name Of Honor by Rana Husseini, 2009

• The World Without Us by Alan Weisman, 2007

• Composed by Rosanne Cash, 2010

• The Man Who Was Thursday by G.K. Chesterton

this is not a full list as I suffered some data loss earlier in the year...

Make Mine VA Wine 2010

1. Cabernet Franc - 2006, Marterella...

2. Riesling - 2008, La Grange...

3. Pinot Gris 2009, Toll Gate Winery & La Grange...

Films Viewed 2010

Tenacious D in "The Pick of Destiny" (Liam Lynch), 2006

W. (Oliver Stone), 2008

Lords of Dogtown (Catherine Hardwicke), 2005

Alice In Wonderland (Tim Burton), 2010 **at the theatre**

Food, Inc. (Robert Kenner), 2008

Dreamgirls

Beer Wars (Anat Baron), 2009

Kick Ass (Matthew Vaughn), 2010 **at the theatre**

9, (Shane Acker), 2009

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Toy Story 3 **at the theatre**

Inception **at the theatre**

Salt **at the theatre**

The Kids Are All Right **at the theatre**

Scott Pilgrim vs The World **at the theatre**

The Yes Men (Ollman, Price,Smith), 2003

Wendy and Lucy (Kelly Reichardt), 2008

The Informant! (Stephen Soderbergh), 2009

Invictus (Clint Eastwood), 2009

Winter Solstice

dream segment...

i dream that i meet george harrison's son...he brings his child over to play...as we are talking, i try to tell him about a newspaper article i read, and about parts of rosanne cash's book 'Composed' that had to do with his father and how that impacted me, but there were many distractions and i was not being very articulate...that was frustrating, but as we talked i thought about how he is probably weary of talking about his father with people anyway...

"Record Store Day" dream...

i am driving/walking in Fairfax looking for Record and Tape Exchange...find the store and we walk across the street up to the door...there are two employees standing outside having a chat, one of them opens the door for me as we approach and makes a bit of small talk...i realize that i have forgotten the LPs that i wanted to exchange, so i won't have any money to get the Decemberists new single that i wanted, but i am going to browse anyway...there is another customer coming in, she is a regular, we say "hellos" as she walks by, she's got lots of tattoos and turquoise jewelery and long graying blond/brown hair...i find a couple of Grateful Dead box sets that are partial sets so i look at the booklets...later i find two Mandrill LPs from the late 1970's, and i get very excited...i stand there trying to figure out how i can buy them even though i have no money right now...

State of Mind rant: feel free to ignore

Even though i promised myself a "new beginning" on December 1st (began new job that day...), i have yet to truly connect with that in any real sense. I am not at all close to that feeling of self, alive and centered. I feel blocked, yet I know that possibility and growth are within my reach. I have an awareness, but seem unable to fully act. Unless I am making excuses: too cold, too stressed about $$$, etc. I'll be better when: this happens, or this happens, or? Circular thought patterns bringing me right back to here. Here and now? yes, but static. I need to take time, yes, but i need to focus. Not slipping back into depression, but almost. Need to go for a walk, need to go alone, guilt about not taking my dog along, she needs a long walk too, so i don't go. So what gets accomplished? Nothing. I was beginning to get organized and felt really good about that, but then I ran out of money (needed for some projects like CD case, etc.) so must wait for first paycheck to get bills paid, then the cold weather hit, and must wait for new heating system to be installed before moving on with projects because the cold really zaps my energy levels. Plus adjusting to the new job. I do miss the grocery store. (NOT that hell-hole in Alexandria, though. whew.) I am anxious about not making enough $$$ to pay my bills. I need to go full-time as soon as I can. I need a second job until then. I need to take my camera everywhere with me again. I need a good cry to get this all out of my system. I need to remember that I am a good person, and let go of all the negativity that I have accumulated from relationships past.

Beer And A Book

Far overdue, this latest installment of the much-loved (by few) series. This episode brings us a Vanilla Stout from Saranac in New York. Brewed with Chocolate and Caramel Malts and vanilla. Smooth and tasty, perfect for this cold night, quaffing and reading; 'The Greatest Show On Earth' by Richard Dawkins. Showing his sense of humor all over the place, Dawkins gives us the facts in an anecdotal style.

And check this out: Sam Calagione has his OWN beer & a book pairings to share...

My Applications

Wegman's - five rejection e-mails...
Whole Foods
Costco
Target - one rejection e-mail...
Lowe's - two rejection e-mails...& 1 call plus interview = HIRED
Staples
Bed Bath & Beyond
Borders
Trader Joe's
Safeway
Giant - & interview = HIRED
SERVE
Clock Tower Thrift
The Farm at Broad Run
Foster's Grill
The Fauquier Bank
Barrel Oak Winery
Three Fox Vineyards
Total Wine
Barnes & Noble
Pet Smart
Bloom
CVS
Port City Brewing Company
28 North Custom Beer Company
Chrysalis Vineyards

Help Cookie Monster host Saturday Night Live

everywhere, some beauty to be found...

rain-soaked leaves lay sparkling
gem-like
on the shiny asphalt road
wind-strewn
a carpet glittering
on the long midnight road
sharp intake of breath
and quick smile
on the late-night road
home

State Of Mind

I think that I have reached the point where I have worked through the stress of the lay-off & transfer to this store that I call The Hell-Hole. I am now left with the depression. This is not my favorite state of mind, by any means. I am not very functional when I am depressed. Indeed, who is? I have put out so many applications to so many open jobs this past month, and have received zero calls. I have gotten three rejection e-mails, however. (Seriously, "Wegman's"?) For instance, today I hid in bed for five hours. Sleeping and dreaming. Letting my subconscious deal with all of it! My body aches from lack of "exercise". My mind aches from the worry and dissatisfaction. I am trying to focus on the positive; I have a job. I am also trying to better my situation; applying for jobs and talking to people/contacts. So I think that I am dealing fairly well with the whole situation, I just worry that I am overlooking something. Truly, tomorrow, I must work out or hike. Do some yoga. Nothing heals depression like "exercise"...movement...focus and breathing...

dream piece featuring Kevlar...

i am at work, doing programming...i am over by produce when i hear Kevlar's voice on the intercom system, the phone is off the hook at the register where he is working, so i can hear everything that he is saying...he has just said something about sex to his customer! i say to the co-worker near me, "did i just hear kevin say that?" and i walk over to his register to let him know that he needs to hang up the phone...he is dressed in a very dapper brown suit, and still having fun talking with his customer! it's also fun when i let him know that the whole store has just heard all that he's said! oops!