dream frag.....

Lorraine and i are getting ready to do heroin together...the set-up is very ritualistic...we sit on the floor next to a low table as i get the heroin out...it is in the form of small grey blocks which are like ashes pressed together...there are two blocks, i break each into two, we are going to do half at a time...we ingest the half-blocks...later i am in a room (a bedroom, perhaps) by myself, looking around the room, out the door, out the window...there are clothes lying on the bed and chair...i am thinking "now what?" as i cross my arms and slowly rub my biceps, staring...

Skateboarding is Not a Crime...

But this Baltimore cop IS:

America: Home of Stuff Not Made Here Anymore!

Sweatshop labor, we love it! Watch Lee Camp break it down here:

Snowkiting in North Dakota...

Check this out! Also see this article in the EcoSpace blog about 2XtM. Showcasing the wind energy potential of North Dakota, these three guys snowkited from the Canadian border 400 miles across N.D. to the border with South Dakota. Fantastic!

Flying Dream segment...

i am flying toward the beach (like Ocean City), veering off to the left approaching the water...there is a fence running along the beach, i try to fly over it, but lose altitude and land on the sand "side" of the fence...i walk along and find an entrance to the water "side" of the fence...there are a few people there, as i walk along the beach i talk to an older gentleman who listens as i tell him of how this beach used to be when i was a kid, when i used to come here with my parents...it used to be lovely, and you could camp right on the beach..over the years it got more restricted, and we stopped coming when they built the big fence...walking now, it is a very sad looking area, tangled wire everywhere, debris washed up ashore that you must climb over...

Cukes not Nukes

Also, check out "Bikes Not Bombs"...and "Healthcare Not Warfare"...

dream segment...

here at home my daughter is having a sleepover with a few friends...we are having a good time, and the party is now winding down, it's time for jammies and sleeping bags...as we are all doing so, Dean comes over to the house with a large quantity of friends/tour buddies, like maybe 30 people or so??? i try to make the best of it, entertain to a small degree, but mostly try to let everyone know that we are all ready to wind down here, but the "party" takes off on it's own...Dean tries to talk to me, and even touch me, but i tell him to leave me alone, to get off me; one of his close friends looks at me and just shakes his head and i cannot decide if it is with sympathy or something else...i walk down to the end of my driveway, and am concerned about all the people, but notice that they have pitched tents, so that is o.k. ...at one point Dean has decided to come inside the house and recline on "the couch" (funny, that) but i go after him and tell him to get out, i try to hit him with something (a chair? a folding table?) but do not really make much of an impact even thought i do manage to drive him outside...when i come back inside i talk with my daughter, and help her & her friends get settled AGAIN for their sleepy-time...she asks where Chuck is, and i look at the clock and see that it is 3:00 a.m.!! he should be here getting ready for work!! so i go into our bedroom and call him on my cellphone...he answers and when i ask him where he is, he says, "Detroit", and apparently i should have known that he had left to do the job there, but i had thought that it was later in the week...so at one point he stops talking, so i hang up and go tell my daughter where he is so she won't worry...

that happens to me in my dreams; trying to hit someone who is trying to harm me, but the blows not really connecting...it's like i lose the impetus of the punch on the way to delivery...

dream segment.....

i am at home, and Armand comes over to visit...this is great! I have gotten out the movie projector and begin to screen some old home films, mostly about Mom...some how Mom is also here, and watching, and cries at the screening...

dream segment...

i am on the computer, and Adam Duritz sends me three songs...he also sends me an IM telling me why he'd sent me the special songs, because he knew that i was having a bad day...i began to listen to the first song, and wanted to send a reply back to him, but the usage was so different from any i'd seen before i couldn't figure out how to send my reply..the more i scrolled around, the more frustrated i became...the visuals of the videos were fabulous and the music was very good, but it was so difficult to concentrate as i was really trying all different kinds of ways to send Adam a reply...really wanted to thank him...

"Plastic Soup"...

This article from AlterNet is about a floating mass of plastic garbage in the Pacific that is " twice the size of the continental United States". This is horrifying and maddening. Oceanographer Charles Moore discovered this mess in 1997, and has since become an environmental activist.

(Related Content: Frazz , from 2/5/08)

The Svalbard Global Seed Vault...

On February 26 (last Tuesday) the Norwegian government opened the "Doomsday Vault", with a ceremony led by the prime minister and Wangari Maathai, placing the first seeds inside. Read this
and this. The intent is to maintain crop diversity in the future. Which is something that Monsanto, et al., are working very hard to destroy right now.

And, as an interesting read into the politics of the vault, read this new article from Keya Acharya...

Peace Symbol turns 50 this month...

The Peace symbol was designed in 1958 by Gerald Holtom and first displayed at a march for nuclear disarmament. Read this
and this, and check this out! Yes, yet another great 1958 occurrence! I, too, will be a quinquagenarian this year.

"My Name Is Buddy"...

This album by Ry Cooder is a must-listen. I love the politics, the humor and the music which only Ry Cooder can deliver. Be sure and get a copy so you can read the lyrics and the story line. Now you know, "I'm A Red Cat Till I Die"!!

the "Mosquito"...

What is up with this??? A device which emits high pitched sound which only people under 25 can hear. Moving Sound Technology Inc. is selling these to Brit businesses for the purpose of keeping teenage "loiterers" at bay. This offends me and my sense of civil rights on so many levels it's absurd!

small photography dream snippet from last week...

Brother Wayne hands me a camera to take some snapshots with...it is a Polaroid camera outfitted with an alternative developing process as Polaroid has stopped making film for its cameras...the camera body has a heavy, rubbery plastic bag attached to it which holds the developing chemicals...i take a few photos with it...

Why I'm Not Vegan...

CHEESE...oh, cheese...i love cheese...mmm...cheeeeeeeeeese...

Vague Dream Snippet...

i am at a bank location, there are a few other "customers" there also...we all realize that the people who are the bank employees are actually thieves, they are masquerading as workers, and are in the process of a robbery...someone whispers "call 9-1-1", and someone else uses their cell phone to do just that...quickly there are sirens heard, and the police show up and apprehend all the robbers...we are all thanked for our assistance...

An Update...

This would be where Judge Cooper puts the major smack-down on Bush's Navy sonar anti-whale fantasies!

Moon in Capricorn......

The color of the day is red. Courage & good fortune!. I feel much better than the past month...I resumed my weight-lifting workout today. Ah! Amazing the difference, I feel energized and more aware of the cosmos. As a matter of fact, the only Biorhythm cycle that is up on my chart is the "emotional"one. Crazy! Not only that, but I listened to The Pixies while I lifted, yeah!

dreamland...

This past week my dreams have been so full of detail and intricate plot that I have not figured out how to even begin writing them down. I am not pleased with myself about the lack of writing, because my subconscious must be working out some major stuff, and playing it out. Later perusal would be interesting, but alas...

February surprise...

Yesterday morning as I was walking out the door to leave for work, I happened to notice that four of my yellow crocuses were blooming! Early, even for those early bloomers.

Friday's literary recommendation...

I have just now finished reading one of the most brilliant books I have ever read. The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein. I have learned so much from this book. The subtitle is:"The rise of disaster capitalism". I never really looked at major world events from an economic standpoint before, except for an awareness of class struggle, but now the whole picture has opened up for me as regards the "Washington Consensus", and the Friedmanite /Chicago School of thought and shock tactics...amazing...Ms. Klein is quite a journalist and author. Read this book!!

Wear Scarlet...

of course full moon in Leo
full moon cold moon
transition felt-
emotional state opened
and moving strong

It's all about the comfort...

Yesterday Chuck built a marvelous futon-type bed for Rhiannon. Her old chair was getting a bit raggedy. So of course, who is in it first? Panther. Later, Lenah lays there looking all troll-like. Now, Buddy is deeply a-snooze. I can't wait to come home from work one day to find ALL of them curled up together!

The Steward of the Environment in Action...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/01/16/AR2008011601536.html

Read this article in the Washington Post about the White House giving an "exemption" to the Navy regarding the environmental laws which protect whales from sonar testing damage. Amazing. It's the whole "End Times/Rapture" thinking coming to the fore again when this administration turns its thick skull toward anything even remotely environmental. Who needs whales? We need more nuclear subs fully equipped with sonar for our "national security"!!!

Today.....

CHECKLIST
woodstove fire...yes
comfy pooch...yes
sleeping kitties...yes
good book...yes (The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein)
good craftbrew...yes (Sam Adams "Black Lager")

Sunday morning...

Driving to work, pass by the pond which got "restructured" for the new housing development a few years ago...I always look over to check on how the pond looks, what's happening there, and to keep an eye out for the kingfisher I see there often...not to be disappointed, there he was! On the powerlines looking down at the pond...also there was a mallard pair, the male dipped down into the water to snag a snack...

Reading list Update...

The Terror Dream by Susan Faludi, 2007
Tree of Smoke by Denis Johnson, 2007
Armed Madhouse by Greg Palast
The Greatest Story Ever Sold by Frank Rich, 2006
Blackwater by Jeremy Scahill, 2007

il neige...

gone
is the early morning's dark feeling
of despondency
as i feel the sky weigh heavy
on the house
i feel my spirits ascend
the healing snow falling
has brought peace
to my troubled mind

dream from a couple of days ago...

i have gone to Florida with my significant other, we arrive at the hotel, it appears to be quite fancy...we are shown our room up this rather grand staircase...we are getting our luggage up, and getting organized/settled in...i have taken a job there at the "Giant" grocery store...i realize that i am going to be late for work...i am looking through the phone book trying to find the telephone number there to call and tell them of my plight...i finally get in touch with the store, but they are not understanding of my situation at all...

Another Bookstore Dream.....

I am back at Crown books as the manager, having just replaced someone who resigned...the store looks quite ratty as i walk around looking & helping customers...one of my employees (whom i am meeting, all for the first time) i find sitting on the steps up to the office playing on her Nintendo DS, which she has plugged into the wall...i stop her, saying how about straightening the books??? with just a hint of sarcasm when she asks me what should she do...the bookshelves are wooden and so very dusty, i see cobwebs!...i walk back upfront at one point to see all the other people "working" there this evening just leaning around talking...so i put some of them onto cleaning those filthy shelves, wondering what in the world the old manager ever asked them to do...i look on the schedule and see that someone named "Michele" is to come in as my relief when it is time for me to get off from work, but she is very late...

"Not My Poem"....

after the point
of impact
drift off into
dreams of
many
window frames

Dream from 1-3-08.....

I am at a house party... Lots of people are showing up...in the downstairs rec room people are smoking herb...when it's time to go, i find Melian and ask her to get ready, she talks to the kids she was with and then says o.k....i find Rhiannon, she is running all over the house with her dog friends, and i get her ready to go...i walk out to the pick-up, and start to put stuff in the back...i notice that the melons that i had brought for the party have rotted, forgotten, in the front seat...three of the "kittens" have come to the party, and i am trying to get them all into the truck at the same time!!!, but some people have come outside to hang out or help, and they are spooking the kittens...i'm telling everyone to keep still so that i can herd the kittens all into the truck...Rhiannon tries to jump out at one point...it is difficult, and i am on the verge of tears...

Thank you, dictionary.com.....

Word of the Day for Wednesday, January 2, 2008

faineant \fay-nay-AWN\, adjective:

1. Doing nothing or given to doing nothing; idle; lazy.
* * * *

That's right! Now there's a word for you. Let's use it in a sentence, shall we?
"The woodstove and the coffee are warm, the book is good, and the cats and I are all quite faineant."

11/9/1977...

the power of the flame
the incense smoke and
the secrets
of the
night on skin

12/26/1976

moon in scorpio
we ascend
into our deep dark flowing waters
in tune, in tune
time of the subconscious
celebrate
rejoice,
the cycles again!

12/18/1976

the energy is different here
in the midst of the forest
out of the pine and cedar grove
away from the field:
abandoned vine-covered house

white
with snow
grey sky
green brownblack forest
i sit quietly on a fallen tree
an intense pink hat
on my head

No More War

yearning...

i want to knit sweaters
when i retire
i want to ride my bike nowhere
and photograph nothing
read everything
and brew great beer
drink green tea
and do yoga on the beach
under the full moon
of course

Mater Connexion

today a woman i didn't know
recognized me
thought i was my Mom
praised her as a wonderful woman
all the kids thought of fondly
i felt so proud
and grateful for her kind words
she said it was my smile
and positive attitude
she said we resemble our mothers
as we grow
older
and that other people have said
the same
of her

The Usual Suspects.....

The pumpkin, the woodstove, the poet.....

Pledging Peace for this holiday season.....

Join me in this pledge with Code Pink for Peace ...how many years has this been a dream/wish for so many of us? Decades...

The most recent Jim Hightower video...

new woodstove.....dream.....

i walk into the living room and recoil in horror, then spring into action as best i can, the woodstove is broken...it's off of the hearth, the front glass in tiny shards all over the floor, wood and embers are burning on the carpet...i'm trying my best to get it all under control, even through my anger at the fact that i know my father has done this, caused this dangerous situation...i'm frightened at what a serious blaze this could have caused in the house had i not caught it in time...as the dreams progresses, i realize the fire could have spread to my jobsite as well...i am talking to people and showing them the mess, and still cleaning up...

Can You Guess Who This Quote Is From?

In today's Washington Post, there is an article titled "Putin Accuses U.S. of Interference". Contained therein is the most amazing quote! Try & guess: "I am particularly troubled by the use of force by law enforcement authorities to stop these peaceful activities and to prevent some journalists and human rights activists from covering them..." Wait, it doesn't stop there!!! : "The freedoms of expression, assembly and press, as well as due process, are fundamental to any democratic society..."

Great stuff, right? Did you guess? No, it's Pres. George W. Bush...Unbelievable, I know. What blatant hypocrisy. Read The End of America by Naomi Wolf for perfect examples of Bush's administration doing just the above, and more...

Summer's passing...

I was Zappa for Halloween this year.

stress night.....

Get in bed to read, make it for about an hour, then out like the proverbial light. Exhausted. Sleep for three hours then awake, groggy, and into instant stress alert. What could I find to worry about? Oh, everything! And then some! No more sleep for me for about two hours, then into the land of stressed-out dreams. Somebody is driving a pick-up truck up into my yard and then trough my yard, and all around my property...i holler to Chuck "look at this crazy person", as i'm getting even more angry, i see that this truck-driving guy has climbed up one of the oak trees, and is sawing it down! the tree falls directly onto my car! I'm really pissed now! The guy comes up to the house to "talk" and wants to negotiate a payment plan for fixing my car, i am livid...he's acting so cocksure i want to punch him...(i wake myself up crying)...

Movie viewing extravaganza, up-to-date...

Boys Don't Cry (dir. Kimberly Pierce), 1999
The Way of the Gun (dir. Christopher McQuarrie), 2000
The Departed (dir. Martin Scorcese), 2006
The Pursuit of Happyness (dir. Gabriele Muccino). 2006
Borat
A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints, 2006
The Proposition
Narc
Broken Flowers
Half Nelson
Mothman Prophecies
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Man of the Year
The Salton Sea
Thumbsucker
The Squid & the Whale
The Fountain
Memento
The Mission, 1986
American Splendour, 2003
The Long Good Friday, 1979
Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix, 2007
Mulholland Falls
Good Will Hunting (Dir. Gus Van Sant), 1997
Hildago (Joe Johnston), 2004
Fast-Food Nation (Richard Linklater), 2006
The Constant Gardener (Fernando Meirrelles), 2005
Awakenings (Penny Marshall), 1990
Smokin' Aces (Joe Carnahan), 2006
The Astronaut's Wife (Rand Ravich), 1999
The Simpson's Movie, 2007
Bound
Breach
Four Rooms
Garden State (Zach Braff), 2004
Apocalypto
Bridge to Terabithia
300
House of Flying Daggers
Suicide Kings
The Ice Storm
Before Night Falls (Julian Schnable), 2000
We Are Marshall (McG), 2006
No End In Sight (Charles Ferguson), 2007
Seraphim Falls (David Von Ancken), 2006
Lonely Hearts (Todd Robinson), 2006
Letters From Iwo Jima (Clint Eastwood), 2006

It's all about the food, fool.....

Keeping within the great tradition of un-read blogs everywhere (except for Twisty's "I Blame the Patriarchy"), I now present for you what I've been cooking:
Butternut Squash Soup
Chili
Cornbread
Sweet Potato & Apple casserole
Raspberry Cheesecake
Pumpkin Pie

I worked Thanksgiving Day, so this has all taken place on Sat. and today, my days off from work. Rhiannon & I took a fabulous hike today as well. We set a bruising pace, no mere mortal could have kept up with us, the Trail Queens!!! Next culinary project: preparing the humongous pumpkin I acquired by slightly duplicitous means.

Reading Update.....

Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
Spook Country by William Gibson
The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
Our American King by David Lozell Martin
The Hot Zone by Richard Preston
The Unraveling of the Bush Presidency by Howard Zinn
The End of America by Naomi Wolf

The Day Of Many Wandas.....

I have left "Coldstone Creamery". Behind in the dust, as a matter of fact. I am once again in the grocery store world, and loving it. I am using my brain and my brawn, my charm and my sense of humor. It's a beautiful thing. I have seen so many people that I know, both as past customers and as past co-workers, that I really feel a sense of Home at this job. I have also gotten quite a few new "fans" in my customer base this week. I'm so happy! I feel like I am really DOING something, and being appreciated for it.

Wow, this is what I've read since my last "What I've Been Reading".....

Palestine Peace Not Apartheid by Jimmy Carter
It Can Happen Here by Joe Conason
Blinded By The Right by David Brock
At the Center of the Storm by George Tenet
You Can't Catch Death by Ianthe Brautigan
Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali
A Power That Governments Cannot Suppress by Howard Zinn
Belle Ruin by Martha Grimes
The Tokyo-Montana Express by Richard Brautigan (re-read)
Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, 1997
Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill
The Children of Hurin by J.R.R. Tolkien
Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone by J.K.Rowling, 1997

Why Do I Have To Go To Work Today?

Liz cannot understand how it is possible that i am not awake
and yet functioning
while she cannot function when she is
awake...
i don't know the formula for this,
but i do know that the time
for morning has come far too often of late
without any readiness
on my part
regardless of quantity
of sleep...
a fog
a lassitude
a sorrow,
i find i am excited by life,
but enamored by
sleep

Ms Ethel Does Fleetwood Mac.....

"Tell me lies, tell me sheet metal lies....."

Rose & Chamomile shampoo.....

"Your hair smells good. It smells like 'Fruit Loops'."

The last 5 Books I've Read.....

• Failed States by Noam Chomsky...without a doubt this is my favorite Chomsky book yet...he managed a biting sarcastic wit throughout, while delivering the facts in a most direct manner...informational and eye-opening...highly recommended!...modern day governmental abuses? imagine that!
  
• The New Nuclear Danger by Dr. Helen Caldicott...while this information is "older", this book still delivers a punch that most people probably don't realize is still relevant, most likely even more so...nuclear is most definitely NOT the "new green"...well written as always by Dr. Caldicott...
  
• Hubris by Michael Isikoff & David Corn...I found this an interesting read, in a different style than I've read some of the same subject matter...new twists and facts, very compelling...the Bush (W) administration never ceases to amaze me with it's horror and corruption!
  
• Force of Reason by Oriana Fallaci...This book is about Islam in the world, and how that religion impacts our world, past & present...Ms. Fallaci fascinating as always...her style emotional and sensational, she's persecuted for this...I found the book itself quite interesting and enlightening, but the speech/afterword was a dissapointment...I thought it boring and had to feel that it layed blame on many people who would not be her enemies at all!
  
• Shadowplay by Tad Williams...I was one of the people who read the first book, Shadowmarch, in it's online format, when Tad wrote two chapters a month for us subscribers. So I truly couldn't wait for this second book. And oh, yes, it did not dissappoint. My copy had a lot of editing problems, but oh well...my only complaint really, is that I read it too fast, and now must wait ???? for the next book??? One of my all-time favorite fantasy writers, and an all-around great guy, too. I met him at a "Barnes & Noble" in Reston, VA during one of his speaking tours.
  

The Last 5 Movies I've Viewed.....

• Clerks II...Hilarious and annoying at the same time. I so dig Jay & Silent Bob...Only funny if you have seen the first Clerks movie...
• Marie Antoinette...Way to go, Sofia Copeland!! What a beautiful, visual treat. And what a vastly different and interesting take on a historical subject...
• John Q...One of the few times that I have enjoyed a Denzel Washington performance so much...jerks your emotions, but it's great...
• The Insider...this was good, but not great because of a couple of unreal premises, fine acting...
• Babel...Wow...interesting all the way through...my favorite aspect being Japanese Deaf culture...
  

My darling, I shall miss you...

Oh, Kurt Vonnegut.

The Post Office, 1993...

Max, "Mom..."
Me, "Yes, son?"
Max, "Mom, do you douche?"
Me, "No, son. Mommy has a self-cleaning oven."

dream segment (a couple of weeks old)...

I am riding in a car with my father, who is driving...he is driving on the incorrect side of the road, I tell him this and then calmly suggest that he pull over so that I may drive...he agrees to this, saying that he is tired...I get behind the wheel and take us toward our destination which was one of the places he worked when I was a child: Purceville, or the newspaper in The Plains...so I am turning left onto a road, and he is no longer in the car, I am talking with a woman on my cell phone about him, I am telling her about the driving mishap...she knows him, and sympathizes...as I drive this road I realize that I am very near her office, I pull into the parking lot, and go inside to introduce myself to her...we chat a bit, then I go on...

Amazing Visual Morning...

Driving to work this morning the sky was just amazing. I, of course, did not have my camera with me. Nor could I turn around and go get it! I was running late. The early morning sky was full of altocumulus clouds densely packed. The sun's rays were beaming out under each clump of cloud. Shining a small sundog at each puff. Luckily, I was on a road which did not have much traffic, so I could look as I slowly drove along. Beautiful beyond measure.

I give it a "10"...

And then some...Modest Mouse's new song "Dashboard" has to be one of the most dance-able songs ever!!! My hips get loose each time i hear it...yeah!!!

Here is my 1976 Gitane bicycle. I rode it to Nova Scotia and back when I graduated from high school. For a long time I didn't own a car, just rode my bike everywhere. It was originally bright yellow. One time I painted it silver, then red. I retired it in 1992. Recently, I've kept it in the front yard as an art installation. Many miles.

flow recall...

pen to paper this line of
brain-blood to heart
my ambit of words to thoughts
electric
sparks behind my eyes

wet snow...

oh
this coffee is perfect and
look
the window is fogged
i remember
i dreamed
of a red fox crossing the yard

Raptor Dichotomy.....

Early last Sunday morning we were driving up Rt. 50 heading toward Paris, VA. Chuck drew our attention to a large bird flying toward us. At first we think "hawk", then we think "vulture", but then as the large bird flies close over the car we all look up and see that this is a Golden Eagle. I turn and look behind us and watch the eagle fly a circle and then land in a tree at the edge of the field. We are amazed and delighted. With the Shenandoah River fairly close by (especially if you are an eagle) this does not seem out of place. What a beautiful bird. The excitement stays fresh with us for many miles.
When we get home from our trip, I find an article in the Washington Post which tells us of the Bush Administration's decision to remove the Bald Eagle from the endangered species list. This is to occur on February 16, 2007. The deputy director of the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service attempts to assure us that this will NOT mean "open season" on the eagle. Here is the most outrageous thing: this decision has been brought about by the persistence of a 69 year old man in Minnesota. He is a Libertarian "property owner" who is miffed that he cannot subdivide and sell some pieces of his land as he wishes because there is a bald eagle nest on one area of his land. There is a rule that stands now where no building can occur within 330 feet of an eagle nest. He filed a federal lawsuit in 2005 which he won this past August. Even though the bald eagle population is estimated to be 7,000 nesting pairs at this time (up from 417 pairs in 1963, thanks to the pesticide DDT) , I still find this decision outrageous.

Dream Segment.....

I am going to see The Dead in concert after work. I am going with Dawn K., and others. I am trying to find somebody to pick Melian up from school, and take care of her while I am at the concert. The woman who I have set up to help cancels. I decide to take Melian with me, and we talk about this, feeling happy. We walk down the steps to find our seats. A guy going up the steps tells me to be careful. I tell him that I've been coming to this venue ever since it first opened, so I know about the steps. They are very worn and shabby. I think about missing Jerry Garcia. Talking with Dawn, we're both wearing tie-dye shirts. Mike gets angry and bossy with Dawn, and I ignore his bad attitude. Dawn & I laugh. A friend of mine takes his guitar up to the stage during intermission and talks with Bob Weir, trys to play a song, but forgets how. I think he's nervous.

August 2006...

Obviously it's nap time for Maggie & Ed. 

"I see this every day".....

My friend Derek has a number of photos, etc. with this quote as his commentary. I took inspiration from the quote to add this photo, with the same loving feeling that the quote evokes in me. It makes me think of one of my favorite Gertrude Stein pieces. She writes of repetition as a form of love.

11/28/06

my cathode-ray brain
will not let me sleep
causes my eyes to open
there, silhouette of the cactus
plate-glass window
sky lit by the
second quarter moon
galvanic jolt
get up!
time to write...

Human Stupidity & Greed, once again.....

The Washington Post reported last week this little snippet from Addis Ababa, Eithiopia: "Rare Abyssinian lion cubs are being poisoned at a zoo in Ethiopia and sold to taxidermists because there is not enough money to care for the animals, the facility's administrator said." It is estimated that there are only 1,000 of these lions left in "the wild". They are smaller than African lions, and have a black mane. First of all, I am not a fan of zoos. But let us just assume that the idea here is to protect an endangered species. By poisoning them to improve your bottom line? If your zoo cannot afford to take care of the animal, would not releasing them into the "wild" be more logical. Thus giving them at least a fighting chance for existence? Better than being stuffed and sold. Which reminds me, December 5th is the last day to call your Senator and back the bill to save wild horses from slaughter. It's S.1915: The American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act. Congressional switchboard: (202)224-3121.

On Stage.....

When I am at work, I feel the weight of the security cameras. Scott could be watching, or he could be asleep, or doing something else. I know they both watch the monitor in the evening, but during the day? It's creepy. I make faces at the cameras, scratch myself, do pirouettes for them...I make broad gestures as if I were a blackjack dealer at Atlantic City...nothing up my sleeve!!!...I wonder how much of this might just be paranoia, and how much a strong sense of psychic awareness? I am used to security cameras, I used to work at "Giant" grocery store! We had them at "Super Fresh", too, but they were basically for show after A&P decided to pull the plug on any financial backing for our store...anyway! I was just thinking about how cute the front camera looks with its Festive Holiday tinsel all lovingly wrapped 'round it...

Mystery Pizza.....

I dream.....Jess and I are going around Boston...we are planning a trip to England together...one of our friends is amazed by this...we're meeting our kids, and heading back to our homes...as we come up to Jess' house, there are two pizzas on the concrete steps...we each think they are from someone different. ..I hold one of the pizzas in my hands, it is very tomato-y, i taste the sauce...as we go into her house, Jess thanks the guy who is there for ordering the pies...he says it was not him...

Pieces of a Dream.....

Ozzy Ozbourne has actually been Ian McShane all these years. Black Sabbath, fronted by Ian McShane. I am looking through a book which is filled with photographs and album cover art (done in the Frazzeta style, of course) showing Ian singing and hanging out with the band. I feel amazed by this revelation, and want to tell Chuck about it.....

dream segment (from July 2006).....

I have a pet herd of young elephants. Space is getting cramped in my house as they grow up. I ask one of my neighbors, a farmer, if I could use one of her fields as a place for the herd to roam. She gives her assent to the proposal. After moving them to the paddock, I stand by the fence and watch them play for a while. The herd is quite happy to be able to roam in the grassy place. I go over to the farmhouse and look around the living room. She has quite a lot of antiques and other interesting things there. One of the other neighbors comes over and confronts me in the living room as I am perusing, but I explain to this person that I have the farmer's permission to be there.

Deja-Vu.....

I am reading "Timequake" by Kurt Vonnegut, which he wrote in 1997. I recently bought this trade paperback copy. All the while I'm reading I keep thinking about how it's all so familiar, I've read this before, even though I didn't own a copy. Must have gotten it from the library. The main premise of this work of fiction is a" timequake" which occured, causing everybody to re-live ten years of their life. When the timequake ends, everbody has free will again. So last night while reading, and still pondering the familiarity of it all, the humorous irony of the situation sends up major flares and I just have to laugh at myself.

What I've been reading...

• "Democracy's Edge" by Frances Moore Lappe.....this book felt like a "feel-good" read until I hit the education chapter. Not that the stories weren't inspirational in that chapter, as the others had been. Real people doing real, effective things to make democracy live in this country (U.S.A) for themselves and others. But when I read the education section I completely stressed out. That means two things; 1. our educational system is askew and, 2. I need to do something about it, for my daughter's education, of course, but also because I believe in public education! By the way, Ms. Lappe's book "Diet For A Small Planet", along with Ellen Buchman Ewald's "Recipes for A Small Planet "were the two books which helped me, taught me the basic nutritional information I needed when I decided to stop eating animals back in 1974. I've also read Ms. Lappe's "Food First".
• "An Unreasonable Woman" by Diane Wilson.....beautifully written in a conversational style that is impossible to put down. A strong, interesting story of corporate/political pollution & crime fought by Ms. Wilson on her home turf. I am proud of her work. Visit her website, read this book! She helped found CODE-PINK!
  
• "Thank You Dr. Kevorkian" by Kurt Vonnegut.....this tiny volume is a collection of Mr. Vonnegut on WNYC radio, doing an interview with dead people thingie. Some pieces of this are also in "A Man Without A Country". I thought maybe I could pick my favorite vignette, but no...I find that there is a snippet from each of the small pieces which is gemlike. Just read everything by Vonnegut that you can get your paws on.
• "Snow Crash" by Neal Stephenson.....this science fiction novel is just fucking cool. I heart cyberpunk!!!
• "The Secret Life of Bees"...by Sue Monk Kidd.... I thought that this was pretty good. I really dug the bee-keeping Sisters and their home. I thought my daughter would enjoy reading it also, so I shared it with her.
  

dream sequence...

I go into a arts & crafts country store...the shelving and walls are wood...I am looking for a particular weight of black yarn...I do not find it, so I ask one of the women working there where some might be, and she points to a section...I walk over to look, but do not find the exact yarn I need to complete my project, I find a similar weight, but it's a short piece which is black & white intertwined...I pick it up and tie it to the piece I brought in to match...then I walk around more , still looking for the yarn...everything is very colorful and interesting in this shop...

Blog against sexism day...

Pondering which of many subjects to write about for these past few days, I found that an incident inserted itself into my day that simply required a published opinion. The phone rang at 3:40 a.m., awakening me from a sound sleep. I fumbled for the phone and read the caller ID listed was "blocked number"...whatever! I thought as I hung the phone back up. Answering machine picked up, and I heard some random noise then someone (male) whispering, "I am coming to get you..." in a very theatrical voice. As I lay there thinking about all that for a few minutes, I thought; "Check this out! What if I was an easily frightened person!" What if this male wanted to frighten me specifically? What if he just wanted to frighten somebody randomly? Either way, it's all about patriarchy and how "The Man" has to keep women scared, to keep them in line. Imagine how some women are afraid to walk down the street. Any street. Any time. Not to mention night-time. Remember the "Take Back The Night" marches & gatherings? That's important stuff still. Because male-centric nutbags still want us to be afraid, at all times. So no, I walk proudly and unafraid, because this is my planet.

Religious Marketing...

This banner has been up at a local Baptist church (Olive Branch, established 1869) since the summer. I have no idea what this slogan means. Having worked at a grocery store for 14 years, I am familiar with the "Buy one, get one free" concept, but this one completely escapes me.

The Healing Power of Vonnegut...

This past Thursday evening I was in an auto accident for which I was ticketed. My car was totaled. So I have been feeling all the myriad of emotions one might imagine accompanying such an event. Anger, self-pity, etc. Good news: nobody was injured. Friday afternoon after I got off from work, I was sitting on a bench in front of the store and began to read Kurt Vonnegut's most recent book, A Man Without A Country, and was reminded of two things: how much I adore Vonnegut's writing, and the meaning of life. There I am reading and laughing and generally feeling much better about the whole ordeal. A weight lifted from my emotional "shoulders"...

O.K. So I'm Late On This One.....

The past two months or so have found me craving the music of The Cure. I do not own any of their music. I took care of that today. I bought "Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me" & "Disintegration" on CD. Oh, I am so happy now! I really love Robert Smith's voice, and his guitar. This is filling an emotional need. The Muzak CDs that we listen to at work have "Close To Me" on them, and it drives me crazy. Why only the one Cure song? No matter, I will take care of that now. I sold my wee bit of land in the Shenandoah Valley, so I treated myself to some new music. New still, 17 & 19 years later. Yesterday I sang a Coldstone tip song that i'd made up based on Devo's song "Whip It". The three teenagers for whom i sang had never heard of the band Devo. I laughed and said, "I'm so Old-School!".

Early morning activists...

Chuck tells me about the dream he's just had where he is at a rally and decides to get one of the banners/signs, and it's Michael Moore handing them out! So he gets to meet Michael, and it's really cool. So i then tell him about picking up all the trash and stuff in my dream. He says, "I was thinking globally and you were acting locally."

dream segment.....

there has been a big party at the clubhouse...there are bottles and cans and trash all over my back yard and over by the basketball court...i begin to collect all the trash to put into the trash can, and all the bottles and other recycleables into the bin...some people are still milling about, and comment on what i am doing, mostly negatively...some help...it's mostly beer bottles and cans; but i also find pink plastic containers of "Nair", citronella scent!?...as i am tossing some bottles into a big bin, i'm having trouble throwing with my left arm, it feels weak...

i am by a big river, Melian is asleep in the bedroom of our cabin close by...i find a big pile of her stuff, small stuff: coins and whatnot...i begin to organize them into separate piles...Melian awakens and walks over to see what i am doing, then goes back to her room...

"Where Is My Beer Chakra?"

Where is my Beer Chakra?
taking root, growing as hops from the earth
rising
with the sweetness of water,
then feeling the fire.
Where is my Beer Chakra?
anticipatory breath
the heart soars/even as the liquid pours down the throat,
AAAhhhhh----
Hold the glass up/the sunlight shining through
now, I know
my Beer Chakra
traverses all Seven.

The glass being now empty, one/meditates
upon another,
bottle opener
in hand.

(March 26, 2001)

dreaming...

i am at a horse racing track, the day's races have been run...i am now cleaning the water cooler, it has gotten very dusty during the races...

Mish has a new boy toy, and she makes a loving joke about his butt, as she pats him on the same...

i have a small amount of cocaine, and i am fidgeting about the house deciding whether to do it or not...

dream pieces.....

Dawn is taking care of Melian for me...i go to pick her up, Dawn is driving her old big station wagon, i follow them down Ridge Road, just before the Mountain Road stop sign, she pulls over, and i get Melian from her...

I am walking through a town...my body moves slowly & with difficulty...a woman stops to offer me a ride in her car, but just at that time a "van" stops too, and it is my friends, so i thank the woman but get into the "van" with the friends...as i climb in the driver says that it's not really a van, but a plastic shell in the shape of a van which is on a car chassis...it's difficult to climb in, it wobbles like a canoe on water!

I am driving a white van through a construction site...i am highly interested in the soil at this site...i park the van and begin messing with the soil, looking at the different types, and planning on using the soil in some project i am working on...i find some cell packs of abandoned marigolds...i am picking through them to see which ones i can use/keep...as i am taking one cell pack i've salvaged back to the work van, a guy with the construction site comes up to me to inform me of the need to leave all the soil where it is...i introduce myself by name, "with Metro Electric", and tell him of the job i've been sent there to do; which is finish the landscaping around the electrical box...i tell him that i think i'd be nice to use these tossed-out marigolds around the box...he gives me the go-ahead, so i get back into the van and drive to look for the box...i think i should see it easily, but i do not...as i drive, i decide to call Chuck and ask him where it is, as i think i've passed it...the road winds away from the construction, and looks decidedly park-like...

dream sequence...

i am skateboarding at the basketball court...it feels very good...i stop and talk with a couple of skaters from the neighborhood...

Rhiannon...

My trail dog extraordinaire...taking a snooze in the garden, resting her hindquarters in a freshly dug hole...this, my friends, is living...on our hike today we saw a grouse; many, many deer; an assortment of smaller birds & quite a few members of the grey squirrel population...Rhiannon got in many good sniffs and three high-quality stinky-stuff rolls...she paddled around in a small forest pool and got so happy afterwards we had to skip and run for a while! I'm telling you she can really pick a trail...

appreciation...

Hours cut at work gives me a day off during the week. Of course i stress about the $$$, but look at what else i gain! Rhiannon & i take a two-hour hike through the woods after dropping my daughter off at school for her chorus practice. Oh, and what a wonderfully beautiful day to do such a thing! I get caught up on the newspaper and some e-mail...i get some stuff done around the house...i feel good, relaxed, and content...

SPAMVERSE

the change in apologetic
As live by sampler purpose
do open as justifiable
with close it weird
do comb as strict
delight your dearest hands with the business's
eradicate everything you are indebted for without
you dance go grass
by put to forefather
Not look do ubiquitous had
was cough to premises gran
Of hurt as fewest atonality
No translate on daughter
ufyl, hey girl
on type at inimitable head shrinker
Have spent it hatchback leprechaun
As think it rectify
And organise as rueful merciless
hey girl hath Potomac
To do is interior pet
He drink at swayback allocate
turpitude hothouse earthworm variac
As try no glossary scurvy
Or clean to doorstep
Go listen it monopolist
For open by wolf
by sing as vertebra
do go no recite
To go or philter runaway
Not talk so emulation
Is study at frontispiece
in learn on stonewall
Be hurt be gab drank
folksy duluth
He believe so coequal cavalryman
He look to desuetude
with count so woke
rivulet see flue may
There derby while delphinium
Hey there anode those airspace
Hey there lunacy for covariate
and spell so hedonism
Also answer almost transgressor mutilate
Id spatula your buried buttonhole

dream segment.....

i am entering The Hirshorn museum...i am thinking about how long it's been since i've been here! there are many changes inside as i walk around...many different and interesting exhibits...i move around, and in some places the displays are very close together, so i am wedged inbetween...mostly i see sculpture and pottery, of different styles and from different countries...

Me & Buddy

comeonbaby light my FIRE...

Well, i finally did it. i burned all my diaries...starting 1974...i had burned all my previous ones many years ago...i've been writing diaries/journals since the first grade...i've been feeling really bothered recently by certain elements of my past; misguided relationships and all that...so this past Saturday night i knew just what to do, fire up the grill and have a bonfire! it's really quite amazing how much better i feel. Chuck and i pulled up the camp chairs and just talked all the while we burned my writings, it was fantastic!

dream segment.....

(another Ford truck dream!)

Chuck and i have an old Ford truck which is made completely of wood. A beautiful blonde wood. Pine? Oak? i'm not sure...so...we drive this beautiful wood-body truck, we back it out of the garage and take it on down the road, it's really quite amazing to drive...all of the mechanics of it are steel/metal and all that, but the body is wood...

Lowest Common Denominator.....

Human Overpopulation. That's it. Ties up all the loose ends. Think of every problem on this Planet, and each and every one of them can be traced back to human overpopulation. Just why do we think that we are so damned important? I realized this many years ago, at the tender age of 15. The Winter of my 15th year was very pivotal. Many aspects of who i am were formed that Season. Much of my World View as well. Same thing. Remember the old Feminist saying, "The personal IS political"???; yeah.

Marvelous film.....

I just finished watching "Elling", as a matter of fact the credits are still rolling...it is absolutely amazing! Norwegian, 2001...directed by Petter Naess...must-see status!

poem.....

the moon transits into Taurus
and brings my menses
every lunation

productive Earth sign: moist and determined

i flow patient/sensual
i am intractable, and secure in my element
sometimes languid as i grow in the awareness of my body's expression
of self

i notice the changes that have begun
a different pace
a different pattern
the tides of a womon, the tides of a planet
feel the pull, feel the opening
feel the
beginning, feeding the
end

Aural emotional depth.....

i am listening to "With_Teeth" by NIN and composing a poem about menstruation...does this not seem like a fitting occupation for a Piscean Moon transit evening? I've got a blazing fire in the woodstove, and the windows open...warmth and fresh Spring air all at the same time...Lorraine teases me when i do this, but she doesn't complain...Chuck agrees with me that it's a cozy, wonderful feeling...now to switch gears: i had the oddest feeling today; that i've lost my ability to speak with any coherence! I swear, i don't know what the deal has been recently, but i have not been able to put my thoughts into words, vocally...tounge-tied, juggling words, drawing blanks; all that stuff...not my usual slick-tounged talkin' self at all...hhmmmm...great goddess somebody get that grrl a higher dose of Ginko Biloba and a shot of cocaine and turn her loose!