2015 CRAFT BEER

• “Anti Venom: Centennial” IPA – Du Claw Brewing Co., Baltimore MD
• “Molotov Cocktail” Simcoe single hop imperial IPA - Evil Twin Brewing, Stratford CT
• “Birthday Beer” chocolate stout – Spoetzl Brewery, Shiner TX
• “Holly Jolly” christmas ale – Fat Head's Brewery, Middleburg Heights OH
• “X8 Spiced Winter Warmer” ale – DuClaw...
• “Lucky Basartd” ale – Stone Brewing Co., Escondido CA
• “Twenty One” imperial India brown ale – Avery Brewing Co., Boulder Co
• Mosaic single hop imperial India pale American wheat lager – Evil Twin Brewing, Mount Pleasant SC
• “Hop Ranch” imperial IPA – Victory Brewing Co., Downington PA
• “ '72 Imperial” chocolate cream stout – Breckenridge Brewery, Denver CO
• “Raspberry Stout” - Hardywood Park Craft Brewery, Richmond VA
• “Woody Stout” bourbon barrel aged – Lost Rhino Brewing Co., Ashburn VA
• “2015 Beer Camp” hoppy lager – Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., Chico CA
• “Raison D'Extra” raisin ale – Dogfish Head Craft Brewery, Milton DE
• “BLVK CELEBRATION” imperial porter -Adroit Theory, Purcellville VA
• “The Oracle” double IPA – Bell's Brewery, Comstock MI
• smoked porter with chipotle peppers – Stone Brewing...
• “Liquid Bliss” chocolate peanut butter porter – Terrapin Beer Co., Athens GA
• “Rye” whole hopped IPA – Yard's Brewing Co., Philadelphia PA
• “Hop Back” amber ale – Troegs Brewing Co., Hershey PA
• “Lil' B” imperial porter – Evil Twin...
• “For Lover's Only” imperial Stout – Parkway Brewing Co., Salem VA
• “The Cowboy” smoked Pilsner – Evil Twin...
• “Grapefruit Sculpin” IPA – Ballast Point Brewing Co., San Diego CA
• “Fore” smoked stout – Dark Horse Brewing Co., Marshall MI
• “Tres” blueberry stout – Dark Horse...
• Mexican hot chocolate stout – Flying Dog Brewery, Frederick MD
• “Ten Fidy” imperial stout – Oskar Blues Brewery, Longmont CO
• “Enlightenmint” chocolate peppermint stout – Twisted Manzanita Ales, Santee CA
• “The Brown Note” brown ale – Against The Grain Brewery, Westminster MD
• Mango-Habanero Brown Ale – Lickinghole Creek Craft Brewery, Goochland VA
• “Hop Hunter IPA” - Sierra Nevada...
• “Lucky SOB” Irish style red – Flying Dog...
• “HBC-431” single hop Imperial IPA – Flying Dog...
• “Tokio” oak aged stout – Brew Dog, Scotland
• “Cocoa Mole” spiced chocolate Porter – New Belgium...
• “Haxan” - Right Proper Brewing Co., Washington D.C.
• “Black Marlin” porter – Ballast Point...
• “Love Stout” - Yards...
• “The Long Thaw” white IPA – Harpoon Brewery, Boston MA
• “Heelch O'Hops” Double IPA – Anderson Valley Brewing Co., Boonville CA
• “Dorado” Double IPA – Ballast Point...
• “Victory At Sea” porter – Ballast Point...
• “Smokestack Series” Imperial Stout 2014 – Boulevard Brewing Co., Kansas City MI
• “Enjoy By 02.14.15” IPA – Stone...
• “Sump”stout – Perennial Artisan Ales, St Louis MO
• “Sidamo Coffee Stout” - Hardywood...
• “La Calavera Catrina” Three Chopt Tripel Ale – Lickinghole Creek...
• “Indra Kunindra” India-style export stout - Ballast Point...
• “Deep Cocoa” porter – Victory...
• “Pandemic” Imperial porter – 3 Stars Brewing Co., Washington, D.C.
• “Vanilla Virginia Black Bear” Russian Imperial Stout – Lickinghole Creek...
• “Wookey Jack” Black Rye IPA – Firestone Walker Brewing Co., Paso Robles CA
• “Breakfast” oatmeal coffee stout – Mikkeller, Norway
• “Yin & Yang” Black & Tan – Evil Twin...
• Schlafly “T” Tasmanian style IPA – The Saint Louis Brewery, St. Louis MI
• “Double Jack” Double IPA – Firestone...
• “Schnickelfritz”chocolate cherry Imperial milk stout – Saucony Creek Brewing Co., Kutztown PA
• “Hop Knife” Harvest Ale – Troegs...
• “Mosaic” IPA – Green Flash Brewing Co., San Diego CA
• “Le Freak” Belgian-style Imperial IPA – Green Flash...
• Blood Orange Gose – Anderson Valley...
• “The Remedy” brown ale – Parkway...
• “On The Wings Of Armageddon” Imperial IPA – DC Brau Brewing, Washington D.C.
• “30^th Street” pale ale – Green Flash...
• “Soul Style IPA” - Green Flash...
• “Hop The Pond” Double IPA – New Belgium...
• 2015 “Blushing Monk” Belgian-style raspberry ale – Founders Brewing Co., Grand Rapids MI
• “17” mint chocolate stout – Perennial...
• “Nomad-er Weisse” Berliner-style ale – Evil Twin...
• “Jupiter: The Bringer of Jollity” brown ale – Bell's...
• “Uncle Jacob's Stout” - Avery...
• “Southern Hops'pitality” IPA – Lazy Magnolia Brewing Co., Kiln MS
• “Hi-Res” IIIPA – Sixpoint Brewery, Brookly NY
• “Bourbon Barrel Sidamo” Imperial coffee stout – Hardywood...
• “Black Ops” bourbon barrel stout – Brooklyn Brewery, Brooklyn NY
• “Lorenzini Double IPA” tangerine & blood orange – Maui Brewing Co., Maui HI
• “Chillwave Double IPA” - Great Lakes Brewing Co., Cleveland OH
• “Shipwrecked” Double IPA – Mission Brewery, San Diego CA
• “Abrasive Ale” - Surly Brewing Co., Brooklyn Center MN
• “Lil One” ale – Maine Beer Co., Freeport ME
• “Rumpkin” rum barrel aged ale – Avery...
• “Spring IPA”- Abita Brewing Co., Abita Springs LA
• “Palate Wrecker” Imperial IPA – Green Flash...
• “Blue Reserve Hommelbier” Belgian/American ale – Blue Mountain Barrel House, Arrington VA
• “Bitter Valentine” Double IPA – Alewerks Brewing Co., Williamsburg VA
• “Hop Continuum No. 1 Blood Orange Gypsy IPA” - DuClaw Brewing Co., Baltimore MD
• “Ovila” Belgian-style Abbey tripel – Sierra Nevada collaboration w/The Abbey of New Clairvaux
• “Stickin' In My IPA” rye IPA –collaboration with NOFX - Champion Brewing Co., Charlottesville VA
• “Rye Of The Tiger” rye IPA – Great Lakes...
• “Tenebris: Tequila barrel aged” barleywine – Adroit Theory...
• “Mirror Pond” pale ale- Deschutes Brewery, Bend OR
• “Black Butte Porter” - Daschutes...
• “Warrior” single hop IPA – Flying Dog...
• “Brewhouse Rarities” Earl Grey Black wheat – Flying Dog...
• “Fresh Squeezed” IPA – Deschutes...
• “Illuminatos” Russian Imperial stout – Lickinghole Creek...
• “Fearnought” Imperial brown ale – Lickinghole Creek...
• “Monk's Blood” Belgian-style dark ale - 21^st Amendment Brewery, San Francisco CA
• “Virginia Stingo” red wine barrel-aged – Strangeways Brewing, Richmond VA
• “Supertramp” tart cherry ale – Flying Dog...
• “Soft DK” imperial stout – Evil Twin...
• “Lips of Faith Series” pear ginger beer – New Belgium...

• “Bravo Four Point” IPA – Devils Backbone...
• “Haxan” - Right Proper Brewing Co., Washington D.C.
• “Rowdy” rye IPA – Atlas Brew Works, Washington D.C.
• “Killer Kolsch” - Champion...
• “Smells Like Freedom” IPA – collaboration: D.C. Brau Brewing Co. & Oskar Blues Brewery
• “B/A/Y/S v2.0” Imperial stout – Adroit...
• Coconut Curry Peanut Butter Porter – Adroit...
• “Don't Fear the Reaper” Imperial IPA – Adroit...
• “G/I/A/A” DIPA – Adroit...
• “REDemption” Imperial Red ale – Adroit...
• “Bloody Roots” brown ale/oak-aged – Adroit...
• “Angel's Trumpet” mango IPA – Adroit...
• “The Devil Went Down To Oregon” Imperial rye ale – collaboration: Devils Backbone & Ninkasi Brewing Co.
• “Symposium” IPA – Green Flash...
• “Road Warrior” Imperial rye IPA – Green Flash...
• “Kentucky Rye Barrel IPA” - Alltech's Lexington Brewing Co., Lexington KY
• “411 Smoothie IPA” - Omnipollo, Belgium
• “Ortolan Bunting” American strong ale – Adroit...
• “White Noise” IPA – Adroit...
• “Trendy” Triple IPA – Adroit...
• “Femme Fatale Kabosu” IPA – Evil Twin...
• “Femme Fatale Blanc” IPA – Evil Twin...
• “Femme Fatale Sudachi” IPA – Evil Twin...
• “Imperial Doughnut Break” Imperial porter – Evil Twin...
• “Even More Jesus” Imperial stout – Evil Twin...
• “Aun Masa a Jesus” Imperial stout – Evil Twin...
• “Justin Blabaer” tart blueberry – collaboration: Evil Twin, Westbrook Brewing Co. & The Charleston Beer Exchange
• “secret stache stout” - Finch's Beer Co., Chicago IL
• “Raspberry Reserve” ale – Sly Fox Brewing Co., Royersford PA
• “Ovila” Belgian-style Abbey Saison – collaboration: The Monks & Sierra Nevada...
• “Calling” IPA – Boulevard Brewing Co., Kansas City MI
• “Double Liberty” IPA – Anchor Brewing, San Francisco CA
• “Pump[KY]n” Bourbon barrel-aged porter – Avery...
• “Sunday Morning Stout” Bourbon barrel-aged w/coffee - Weyerbacher Brewing Co., Easton PA
• “Mach 10” IPA – Bear Republic Brewing Co., Cloverdale CA
• “Tongue Buckler” Imperial Red ale – Ballast Point...
• “Kristin's Passion” Mexican hot chocolate porter – Old Ox Brewery, Ashburn VA
• “Kristin's Temper” jalapeno pale ale – Old Ox...
• Peach Tripel – Hardywood...
• “Vinalia Urbana” white wine barrel-aged Belgian-style golden ale – Hardywood...
• “Nuclear Nugget” Imperial honey IPA – Lickinghole Creek...
• Rosemary Saison – Lickinghole Creek...
• “Bourbon Barrel Three Chopt” Tripel ale – Lickinghole Creek...
• “Darjeeling Three Chopt” Tripel ale – Lickinghole Creek...
• “Supreme Leader” spiced Imperial stout – Lickinghole Creek...
• “HiFi + LoFi Mixtape” fresh + barrel-aged ales, Stochasticity Project series– Stone...
• “Treasure Chest” IPA w/hibiscus, prickly pear & grapefruit juice – Green Flash...
• “BLVCK Celebration” rum barrel-aged Imperial porter – Adroit...
• “Equinox” pale oat ale – The Lagunitas Brewing Co., Petaluma CA
• “mo-no” galaxy dry-hopped pilsner – Stillwater...
• “vacuum readymade/” smoked india-styleblack ale – Stillwater...
• “Gemini” super-hopped ale – Southern Tier Brewing Co., Lakewood NY
• “Choklat Oranj” stout – Southern Tier...
• “Pom Peri Possa” sour cherry stout – collaboration: Omnipollo & Buxton Brewery, UK
• “Kirsch Gose” - Victory Brewing Co., Downingtown PA
• Raspberry Sour oak barrel aged – Avery...
• “The Maharaja” Imperial IPA – Avery...
• “Birthday Suit” sour plum Abbey ale – Uinta Brewing Co., Salt Lake City UT
• “Bramble Frumenti” sour blackberry beer/Genius Loci series – Lost Rhino Brewing Co., Ashburn VA
• “Jewbelation #17 Reborn”ale – Shmaltz Brewing Co., Clifton Park NY
• “Black Butte XXVI” bourbon barrel-aged ale w/pomegrante molasses, cranberry & cocoa nibs – Deschutes Brewery, Bend OR
• “Not The Stoic” Belgian-style Quad – Deschutes...
• Robust Porter – Smuttynose Brewing Co., Hampton NH
• Pumpkin Ale – Alewerks Brewing Co., Williamsburg VA
• Pear Lager – Devils Backbone...
• “Stringduster” multi-grain ale – Devils Backbone...
• “Beta Max” DIPA – Devils Backbone...
• “Spider Bite” Black Wheat IPA – Devils Backbone...
• “Trukker Pils” - Devils Backbone...
• “Ambition Ale” - Devils Backbone...
• “Devils Tale” black IPA – Devils Backbone...
• Porter – Port City Brewing Co., Alexandria VA
• Oktoberfest – collaboration: Sierra Nevada & Brauhaus Riegele; Augsburg, Germany
• “Counter Culture” ale – Flying Dog...
• “Twisted Gourd” Imperial chocolate chai pumpkin ale – South Street Brewery, Arrington VA
• “Fairgrounds” Fall ale – Brothers Craft Brewing, Harrisonburg VA
• “Habanero Sculpin” IPA – Ballast Point...
• “Dead Ringer” Oktoberfest – Ballast Point...
• “Pumpkin Down” Scottish ale – Ballast Point...
• “24 Carrot Golden Ale” - Stone...
• Imperial Pumpkin Porter – Epic Brewing co., Salt Lake City UT
• “The Gourd Standard” pumpkin IPA – Flying Dog...
• Honey Kolsch ale – Rogue Farms...
• “The Walking Dead” blood orange IPA – Terrapin...
• “Oatmeal Yeti” Imperial stout – Great Divide Brewing Co., Denver Co
• “Showdown” rye IPA – Great Divide...
• “Honey Queen” Braggot – Samuel Adams...
• IPA – Diamond Knot Craft Brewing, Mukilteo WA
• Gingerbread Stout – Hardywood...
• “2015 Christmas” - Sly Fox...
• “Enjoy By 12.25.15” IPA – Stone...
• “R.I.P.A. On Rye” rye whiskey barrel-aged rye DIPA – Shmatltz...
• “Blackout Stout” Imperial – Great Lakes Brewing Co., Cleveland OH
• Salted Caramel Brownie Brown Ale – New Belgium Brewing Co., Fort Collins CO w/Ben & Jerry's
• Bramble Berry Bourbon Barrel – New Harus Brewing Co., New Harus WI
• “Delirium Noel” Belgian ale – The Huyghe Brewery; Melle/Ghent, Belgium

2015 FILMS VIEWED

• Ex Machina (Alex Garland), 2015 **at the theatre**
• Submarine (Richard Ayoade), 2010
• Basquiat (Julian Schnabel), 1996
• Beautiful Losers (Aaron Rose, Joshua Leonard), 2008
• Dummy (Greg Pritikin), 2002
• Mad Max: Fury Road (George Miller), 2015
• Fed Up (Stephanie Soechtig) 2014
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens (J.J. Abrams) 2015 **at the theatre**

2015 BOOKS READ

• The Peripheral by William Gibson, 2014
• Wildwood Imperium by Colin Meloy, 2014
• The Honey Thief by Elizabeth Graves, 1999
• The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes, 2013
• This Changes Everything by Naomi Klein, 2014
• Earth In The Balance by Al Gore, 1992
• Cameraworks by David Hockney w/ intro piece “True To Life” by Lawrence Weschler, 1984
• No Logo by Naomi Klein, 2000
• The Shining by Stephen King, 1977
• Doctor Sleep by Stephen King, 2013
• Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes, 2014
• Sharp Teeth by Toby Barlow, 2008
• Baba Yaga by Toby Barlow, 2013
• The Silence Of The Lambs by Thomas Harris, 1988
• Zoo City by Lauren Beukes, 2010
• Happiness, Like Water by Chinelo Okparanta, 2013
• Noah's Compass by Anne Tyler, 2009
• The Beginner's Goodbye by Anne Tyler, 2012
• The War On Bugs by Will Allen, 2007
• Moxyland by Lauren Beukes, 2008
• Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, 2012
• The Blue Girl by Charles de Lint, 2004
• Chasing Ghosts by Paul Rieckhoff, 2006
• Death Of The Liberal Class by Chris Hedges, 2010
• Deadly Spin by Wendell Potter, 2010
• Extra Virginity by Tom Mueller, 2012
• The Tao Of Vegetable Gardening by Carol Deppe, 2014
• Green Is The New Red by Will Potter, 2011
• Dirty Wars by Jeremy Scahill, 2014
• An Indigenous People's History Of The United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz, 2014
• Indian Country by Peter Matthiessen, 1984
• Mankiller: A Chief And Her People by Wilma Mankiller,1993
• Revival by Stephen King, 2014
• Happy Hour In Hell by Tad Williams, 2013
• Sleeping Late On Judgement Day by Tad Williams, 2014
• Sister Citizen by Melissa V. Harris-Perry, 2011
• Lakota Woman by Mary Crow Dog, 1990
• Rock My Soul by bell hooks, 2003
• Bone Black by bell hooks, 1996
• Headscarves And Hymens: Why The Middle East Needs A Sexual Revolution by Mona Eltahawy, 2015
• The Immortal Life Of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot, 2010
• Roads To Quoz by William Least Heat-Moon, 2008
• Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls, 2009
• River-Horse by William Least Heat-Moon, 1999
• The Great American Stickup by Robert Scheer, 2010
• All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks, 2000
• Ghettoside: A True Story of Murder in America by Jill Leovy, 2015
• The Art Of Living Consciously by Nathaniel Branden, 1997
• The Magicians' Guild by Trudi Canavan, 2001
• Armageddon In Retrospect by Kurt Vonnegut, 2008
• The Real Frank Zappa Book by Frank Zappa, 1989
• Jubilee Hitchhiker: The Life & Times of Richard Brautigan by William Hjortsberg, 2012
• Trout Fishing In America by Richard Brautigan, 1967 (re-read)
• In Watermelon Sugar by Richard Brautigan, 1968 (re-read)
• The Abortion: An Historical Romance 1966 by Richard Brautigan, 1970 (re-read)
• A Full Life: Reflections at Ninety by Jimmy Carter, 2015
• The Hawkline Monster: A Gothic Western by Richard Brautigan, 1974
• Reckless: My Life As A Pretender by Chrissie Hynde, 2015
• On The Move: A Life by Oliver Sacks, 2015
• The Mind's Eye by Oliver Sacks, 2010
• Foodopoly by Wenonah Hauter, 2012
• Notorious RBG by Irin Carmon & Shana Knizhnik, 2015
• Dreams To Remember: Otis Redding, Stax Records, and the Transformation of Southern Soul by Mark Ribowsky, 2015
• Finders Keepers by Stephen King, 2015
• Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson, 2015
• Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson, 2012
• Welcome To Braggsville by T. Geronimo Johnson, 2015
• Hyperbole And A Half by Allie Brosh, 2013
• Babel by Patti Smith, 1978
• Katrina: After The Flood by Gary Rivlin, 2015

Carolyn

she didn't have to move
there was no need
for that
to have happened
when the new road came through
the homesite
    was undisturbed
even though
    the house
was torn down
where in the world
have the feral cats gone?
she is no longer there
     to feed them
eight vultures stand testimony
in the bare branches of the front yard's
dead tree

"Empty Words" - guest poet JDF

how sublime
a reaction
to involuntary
wind
rendevouz
can
     be

          6-7-75

poem...

the leaves are dancing to the
perfect tune
of my emotions,
wind-blown and
strewn about/the poems
of my
mind

126/72 Stress Flow Relief

95.5 % efficiency of (Sierra Nevada)
beer bottle cap/as
Mus Musculus
habitational deterrent

poem

pale tail floating - mouse
water reservoir drowning
Autumnal sorrow

dream pieces...

at work, the uniforms have been changed, and they look like something from Munchkin Land...there is much laughter and teasing of co-workers...

i return home, Lesley is here and has started a fire in the woodstove, but i freak out because it's all wrong, so i quickly go about fixing it, closing the doors properly and setting the woodstove back to level...

there are little white flowers (???) all over the floor of the house, apparently blown in by the wind...when i return to the house from doing something outside, a young friend of mine has swept them all up & i am appreciative

dream...

i am at work, and it is not a "store", it is a community; streets/houses/shops...i come across Mary D. there & we talk for a bit...i am selling cigarettes to someone, and cannot find on which street they are located, Cortney reminds me...i take a phone call from a belligerent co-worker which i must cut short because it is closing time...as i walk through the community towards the huge gates, i see so many people all about! including a crowd at the sports field & i begin to wonder just HOW i am going to get them all out so that we can close! there is a trio of gates, and as i lock them all in turn, people open them and come in...i run from one to the other trying to keep people out, and re-lock the gates (which keep changing)...i make a few closing announcements, but it does not help at all, people keep coming in, and very few are leaving...some of the people are quite forceful and rude about their gate crashing, and i remind them that there is nothing to buy because we are closed!!! but on they come...

MMM & i are both pregnant and go to the hospital for some tests, and as i open our room with my store key, Control Center calls to check on what's happening, even though i deactivated the alarm with my code...i explain to the caller what is going on, and she is sympathetic...i wait to see if it is o.k. for us to be there, watching two security men test the room...i am wondering if i should have alerted the doctor first?

Dream...

there is an event at the Pool/Clubhouse area which i am attending, as it is about to begin, i run back to the house to get something out of my car...i cue some music, and see Cindi K. through the kitchen window singing along to the T. Rex song that i have put on. we kind of wink at each other as i run back to the event...hearing the next song begin to play...

dream

there is a vein wrapping itself around my left forearm, ever more tightly - i can see it; blue and medium large...i go to the doctor to have it checked out...he works on my arm, pulls the "vein" from my arm (i can FEEL this process in the dream) and proclaims it to be a worm!!!

musings of despair

I have done something seriously wrong with my life, and i peg it starting with when i decided to be with Robert. That was 35 years ago, and it was a wrong move. Is it too late to fix? Please tell me, "No!!!".

Oh, The Pooch Life

Just returned home from a very nice walk with Rhiannon. Her back legs not 100% strong, but she was feeling good! Good enough to eat something gross out of the neighbor's yard.

dreaming - from September, 1979

i am with Mark Dove, it's friendly and nice

i am at Linda Babylon's mother's place- i am with Erin, in the bathroom helping him get ready for bed, brushing teeth and washing up

i am sitting at a large table-counter. there are a lot of other people sitting at it also. one person, who was at my right, was sorting through the big pile of mail in front of us. in the pile i saw a lot of small packages and letter which were addressed to me. they excited me, for they were from about "everyone". but most important, letters from Catherine! ---i asked the sorter if i would receive these letters at my mailbox today, she says she's not sure, so i ask if i may take the letters now, she says yes. i open some from Catherine, they are on-going letters since the time she disappeared, they are positive in tone---entries dated June and July---

(the 21st) i am at school/work---a very large group of people...
i see Chris Becker and go right up to him, am affectionate with him, he is smiling and returning the affection. we talk, we are friends. i am with Sioux (and Ellen , others in the "group)---we are friends--we are lovers, showing our affection---i hold her in my arms as we walk about, sit down. she has given me a letter/note. love and concerned, caring questions. joyous feelings.

i am expected to do an essay-report by a teacher.

made friends (sexual energy between us) with one---two black men (other people around)

yeast in those 3-pack foil packages [dated ?]

(the 22nd) i want to photograph Colleen, go to her house, but she is busy, asleep. later see her, talk with her, i later have the photographs and am processing them.

i hold Sioux in my arms. she is nestled with her back to my chest, my arms circle her. i am telling her of the dream of her i had yesterday. Ellen is there. Sioux asks if Ellen was in the dream. i think, then say yes.

i am in a house (friends??). a young man is walking up the stairs as i am walking down. he is naked. we're smiling friendly, i pinch his ass as i pass by him. later he, Rick Peabody and i are in Rick's room, there is music. they're paying attention to me. the young guy is a little annoying, sexual tension un-asked for. Rick and i are reminiscing...

(the 23rd: Autumnal Equinox) i have a SX-70 camera, and am taking photographs of a woman who is visiting. she is dear to me. we (she & i and other women) are walking around the town---she sits down in a field, resting. it is a marvelous "photo opportunity", and i hold the camera up framing the shot. someone sits close to her, it is not how i wanted, how i saw the shot.  i move to get only her in the frame but it is difficult to do this and stay with the good lighting, the sun setting is bright, to her back. but i take it anyway. no photo comes out of the camera, i click it again and 3-4 stuck together come out. i peel them apart.

someone (James?) tells me of a blond man i must go see because he is the kind i like, the kind that "gets me hot". so i go over to the wooden bridge to see. i rub myself up against the railing saying, "so he's the kind that gets me hot". then i see him walking below on the pavement by the water. a black man, but he is not handsome! and, he's too fat. phooey. so i look around at all the other people on the bridge, wanting a beautiful blonde curly long hair. i check out all the young hippy men near me, i know some of them. one is Scott Griffin (but does not look like him). he is talking, complaining. "why are you such a bastard?" i ask as he leaves. i connect with a younger man/boy, friendly, blonde, kind eyes. we walk about the town together. i carry him. on the backstreet by the water we see a lot of decoys of different birds. we startle the birds there. swans fly up. ducks, of strange plumage. we stop and look at them, then walk into a building. a tiny shark bites onto my side and the top of my bathing suit, i pull it off and cast it back into the water. i show the people i am with the bite mark on my right side. a perfect circle, i point it out, trace along the mark with my finger---

(the 25th)  i am with a group, including Jeanne Grossman. we are shopping.

Mark Dove and i are together. it is here at home, the MTN, and my father has cut down all the trees in front of the house all the way down to the road, and cleared out all of the brush. now it is all mud. there are many people standing in the road, facing us, and it perplexes me. i say i must get lots of trees to plant. Mark and i hold each other, happy to be together. someone asks me something to which i reply, "NO!", i will stay with Mark. i haven't seen him since January. i've missed him and i've looked so forward to being with him. as i speak, i reach for Mark and we hold each other.

i've had a baby. i hold her, carry her. i forget things about taking care of her. such as when the bottle is misplaced i remember that i can breastfeed. no milk comes out the first time she sucks. later some does, it is sticky and sweet to the taste. i squeeze my right nipple to get some, taste it and tell her, "it's sweet!", then she nurses. ---Betty changes her diaper. i realize that i had put one on her in the morning, but had not yet changed her. she is wrapped in a blanket like a burrito, Betty did it. i am unwrapping her to hold and be with her. we lie on my bed under the big window and talk. ---later, talking on the phone, Betty has taken the baby with her, without asking or telling me. i am quite angry, raise my voice over the phone with Mom, then relax and say "oh just go ahead".

Sally Struthers and her husband and another person on a talk show...

i live (communally) in a town house. a party gathering is going on. a nice looking young man walks by me on the patio out back. i pinch his ass & say you sweet thing. he turns, smiling, attracted to me also. he gently moves my hair from my face, saying "pretty girl". we are very hot for each other. we go upstairs to get him a drink. meet Darlene Arsenault on the stairs, she tells me, "you know how it was _____ & Nancy?, well now it's Darlene & Nancy too". this upsets me, for i am very attracted to Nancy, i want her, not some guy, and now Darlene "has" her. i complain, then Darlene yells at me, tells me off, all the things wrong with me. she thinks i wallow in self-pity and people dislike me for that. i'm upset. i am getting his drink, ice water, i throw/hand it to him then walk out of the kitchen, he follows. then i go back and tell Darlene that i appreciate her telling me how she felt, the truth. but i still think she was unfair. he & i sit on the stairwell. i stroke his face, feeling glad for some affection. Darlene walks down the stairs. i feel conscious of her seeing me touching him, wondering at how she will judge me for this---

i am in Betty's room with him, begin to make love to him, then when i am very aroused, i lie on my back and move his hands toward my pants zipper, which he begins to undo. we are interrupted by Betty. after i close the door and begin walking back to him, i remember "i can lock this door!", which i do, it comes open, i close it again and go back to him, thinking how that passion i had is gone, it was such a special feeling that i had...

i am at school (younger, maybe 12?), my companion is a younger version of the same man. we are in class. Smiley (Marsteller science teacher) is the teacher. class is just beginning, and she is telling the girls to sit more ladylike, like a triangle between the eyes and _____. this upsets me, and i complain, we'll sit however is comfortable, this "feminine" stuff is trash. we get into quite a yelling fight. then class begins. she writes a problem on the board and call on me. i take out/unfold my homework but cannot locate the problem. and the problem makes no sense to me, my companion begins to do the problem out loud, then he stops, saying that he does not want to take it away from me. i say, "ohh, go ahead!"

later, some of us pass out bread. i am wearing a hooded robe. i am thinking "maker of the loaf" and of the special magick of bread. i take my tray up to some male students and tell them that I made this bread, it was not made by the patriarchy ---something about their energy is bad, and my energy is magick (no words to describe it) one of the students and i exchange a knowing look, he realizes my power, and they partake of some of the bread.

(26th)   i am appearing on the Johnny Carson Tonight Show. both Carson and Ed Mcmahon are there, joking. Lucille Ball is a guest also. she is young, and appears quite fragile, weak. she sits wrapped in a blanket on the floor to my left. she looks up at me with big eyes. a close womanfriend is also a guest. she sits to my right. i've a pet friend with me also (rabbit? puppy?) we can look at a TV monitor to see ourselves. 

i am in a college cafeteria. my close womanfriend is there also. many people there. we get something to drink. bottle of (wine? water? fruit juice?)

(27th)   a womanfriend (Gail??) and i are riding the bus to NYC. it is much faster than the train two years ago, i am impressed. it is like a conveyor belt ride. there is an attendant, she shows us how to stand, our hands on the shoulders of the person in front of us (Gail is in front of me) when we go over the bridge. this is a safety precaution for it is raining very hard. we get off in a large building. i put my hands on Gail's shoulders again as a sign of humorous affection. we walk around meeting many people. i have a notebook with me. climbing down off the roof of a building, i hand it to two men so that i can descend easier, without having to hold the notebook. Gail & i go to a restaurant to get some beer. we go to a concert, i am very excited about it. seeing Kate Millett. we sit in the wrong seats. when we move to the correct seats, the people to my left strongly dislike me. the woman wants to hurt me, i give her my arm which she pinches as hard as she can, but it does not hurt. i sit calmly. the concert begins. the woman (black) begins by altering her costume. she moves sensuously. she & i have a rapport. her hands are chained for another "song", she brings them to me for unlocking. i am moved. i do so, and the lock & part of the chain is in my hands. i feel the urge to throw them to the stage, dramatics, but i do not do it for fear of not throwing them far enough and accidentally hitting someone. it is a shame that i do not trust myself. she is moved by my participation, devotion. she speaks about this. she moves to me and we kiss long and lovingly. then the show continues. i move to the left of the room, talk with some black men as the next performance begins. she introduces a lot of young black men who are dressed to represent Black History. one man i'm talking with complains that the show is something like you'd do in school, but i disagree, i see the value and the meaning in the performance. one is dressed as Issac Hayes. there are twins as fighters. they come up to me, their eyes are striking, someone mentions this. the twin on my right puts his leg up on my shoulder. i think he's attractive. i slowly stroke his leg. i make a pun on what they're saying/singing, "yeah, he's a hunk!"...

i am living in apartments where Darlene Peyton is also, we meet each other on the steps and talk. it is good. we leave together. we are at a trash dump, i see a lot of unusual feminist newsletter/magazines. but as i go through them, they change. we leave with nothing. riding my trike/bike together. Darlene says she cannot wait till we get where we can make love. i agree. night and rainy/snowy streets.

i and my partner are waiting, hidden, outside a man's home. see him walk outside. it is night, very dark. we are having trouble with our suits so we are worried the job won't go right. we decide to leave. i start up the horse, and we go up the trail. we are on a wagon the horse is pulling. i notice the horse has many cuts and bloody oozing spots on it. one hoof is almost all disintegrated, so i get the burden off the horse and walk, leading it. my partner asks why stop? and i point out the horse's problem.

i am in a bar. i am an outlaw. a man shoots me many times, but i do not die.

that one time sandi had a bad day*

Feeling so depressed here at work this evening. Wasn't like this at home at all. Thank goodness for our special regular customers!! In telling two of them (separately) about how i am feeling, they each said, "Cookies!!!" Good, sound advice.

* people are always saying that i am always happy and that they have NEVER seen me have a "bad day"

I almost got sentimental about Stephen/Crafted. there for one minute. NO. Men are NOT worth my time. Twice burned with that one. What the fuck do I have to GET emotional about except the LOCATION COOLNESS FACTOR??? What a fucking waste of my energy.

musing about all the things plus dream piece/theme

Having a voice. Being able to converse with people, perhaps even hold my own in a debate situation.Being able to use my vocabulary. Being able to write about something, anything, everything. Trusting my voice. Wanting to be heard. (Not needing -plus, i have always been a good listener) All of this is something i have not had a full grasp on for quite a while now, and is something that i truly need to regain. I attribute a lot of this to my past relationship with Chuck. I can never forget the time he told me that he could not listen to me for more than 5 minutes, and how he would always tell me that my outlook was "wrong" when we were discussing something. So, i stopped talking. Then even at the bus stop trying to talk with Jess about things only to have her frown at me as i struggled to find the words with which to express myself. I realize that the "frown" is some people's "listening face", but it can be intimidating for me.Tina @Lowe's had that face as well. And, there is an entire other level of this self-confidence problem: how devastated i was after the lay-off from Shoppe's. How humiliating it was to work at Lowe's. ("Is this your first job?" - patronizingly said by a co-worker) How can i overcome this? Maybe try writing on Goodreads about the books i finish. An actual review! I will need to get past the "who cares what i think" mindset. Maybe I could care how i think!!!

I am concerned about my Rhiannon. She has seemed a lot "older" this past week. She has not woken up from her spot on the porch since i got home from work tonight. So, no "Frosty Paws" yet! I will let her sleep. I love my girl so much.

She woke up a few hours later and found the treat i had left in her bowl. I heard her as i was falling off to sleep. She came in and checked on me, then went back out to the porch. Love my girl.

I had a very complex wild character-laden dream which i could not recall fully enough to write down. It would make a great sci-fi/cyber punk/urban fantasy type book, i am sure! As i was falling back asleep (after having gotten up to tinkle) i was hoping to return to the Dream so that i could hang out some more with my Sweet One some more.

musings...

Well - that time is NOW, and last night was a true test. Three (work) mistakes in 24 hours had my self-confidence way down and my fear way up high. I could NOT sleep. But, even though i thought about it a few times, no beer (emotional band-aid).

musings...

Thank you, bell hooks, for helping me so deeply with your perceptive,clear,honest writing. Underscoring some of the thoughts and ideas that i have had of late. Begun with a statement by Kay, now followed through and expanded by Rock My Soul and Bone Black. While not fully and addict-type personality, i do know that i have used my love of good beer as a solace. As a way to ease the pain of life. And currently that is a financial burden for me. As i am (hopefully) through the worst of my financial struggle since getting laid off (10/07/2010), i need to make it to the next step, which is getting rid of the credit card debt that carried me through the rough time of 2010 to now. So, i must make another sacrifice. From 2010 to 2014 it was my time and sleep. Now, i must scale back my "pleasure" spending. That translates to my $10 a day beer habit! hahaaaaa! I will only buy beer on Thursdays & Fridays. Those will be my "play" days. I will also adjust my sleep patterns so i am not staying up till 3 a.m. after work! By going to sleep earlier (say, 1:30) i will be able to get more done during the daylight hours. Not having a few beers each night after work will help me make this adjustment, because having a beer makes me want to party, and often stay up way too late. These changes will help me restore a sense of efficiency. I feel scared and incapable right now. This is all a holdover from the getting laid-off panic, which i am still working to recover from/move through/heal...

     "When the possibility of self  control becomes as attractive - more attractive- than any other possibility, including temporary relief."   -Marc Lewis

dream...

i am visiting Lorraine (totally different house)and she shuns me quite harshly -it hurts so badly- i am crying, but she does not care...she orders me to leave, will have nothing more to do with me...as i continue to implore, to find out WHY, finally the truth comes out -that she is dying of cancer and wants to spare me the pain of that, of losing her to a death from cancer...she tells me that while she is reclining, and i can see that she is in bad shape, ravaged by the cancer...but i am allowed to stay, to continue to be with her, to give her my loving friendship, so i know that we will be together, and that feels very good

poem...

texture/emotion
rain bright
asphalt
shadow
moving
dancing
the song of
night

visiting Poet: d3rek

split wide open
down the middle
cherry blossom
wrinkled symbol

..once again we never meet
again
..instead

..now we're laying naked
holding hands
and we keep playing until we understand


..
it's just something that we can't
describe

i know we're coming loose
we have these things to choose
there's nothing left to do
there's nothing left to prove

stand on air with our hands on
fire
we come together to be ripped
apart

a partial loss this disease
of time
this is sounding the same..

..
this is the..that we can't deny

stand on air with our hands
untied
we've been coming for years
and never felt
this alive

..i know why you wanted me
..
..

i see you look at me
..

.....
the closer we get we feel our
pulses as complements

.......
.........
ageless phase on our faceless
changeless
stainless pages that always
rearrange us
..
....
....
we have no idea what any of this
really means
she swallows
me whole as i rip her seams

why can't we be this way
forever?
caught in your gaze i fade away
this is a dream we won't
remember
but it seems so amazing
even as it changes forever
slip between her patiently
as we come together in total
release
before we leave we become
what we believe

musings at work (Crafted.)

Miss fluffy/Midnight Blue salvia/warm, and blue skies/trying too hard/not connected enough; or, disconnected/where is the center? (Evergreen Center!!!)

Residual weirdness from the creepy "food writer" who tried to hit on me and say he wasn't and the scrubby "scrap metal" guy. I didn't bring my book because i thought i was going to have a delivery to put away! That will arrive tomorrow, i found out. So, i suddenly remember that i know how to write!

I am thinking about how enjoyable yesterday was in the garden. All day, until time to go to work! i am wishing that i could do it again today...ah well. It is a good day none-the-less. I would really like to have a stout, though!!! Haahahaaaa...

dream...

Carlos and his oldest son are here for his birthday event.

dream pieces

Sammikins has jars in her car...Katie V. pulls up in her Jeep...she needs her Dad to hose the fields, they are on fire from Orks!!! i try to text her Dad...

poem...

side-slung waning
last quarter Moon

pre-dawn driving

dream...

i am visiting a friend, and am going to take her three dogs for a walk as she has to leave to go somewhere...the bulldog has a cart/wheeled contraption that i buckle him into, the small black dog has a new light leash that i put on her, the small tan dog has a retractable lead with a very awkward handle...as we are doing  all these preparations to leave on the walk, the tan dog runs off, and i ask Melian to chase her down for me & she brings her back in no time...so then the dogs and i go off walking around the neighborhood, very nice park near by...as we are nearing the house on our return loop, the bulldog's leash breaks and off he goes! i ask Melian to catch him (she was standing by the park ) and she sighs a disgruntled sigh, so i say never mind! and catch up to him in time, and back to the house we go...good doggies

poem @OBH

writing shadows
as Blonde
directs Skinny
to photo shoot smile

Beer & A Book

While reading Lauren Beukes' brilliant book The Shining Girls, I had the additional pleasure of enjoying these three beers; "Hop Ranch", an Imperial IPA from Victory Brewing Co. in Downington PA; "Lunch", and IPA from Maine Beer Co. in Freeport MA and "Raspberry Stout", a chocolate stout brewed with local raspberries from Hardywood Park Craft Breweryin Richmond VA. All three a delight, and recommended, as is Ms Beukes' book about a time-travelling serial killer and one of his victims who did not die.

poem

in the face of
redeath
there is sorrow
how
can empty and hollow
be so full
heart shudders
breathing comes shallow
all is lost
she is gone
again

dream...

my mother is about to die (again), the time is set, and the event is about to occur...this is an euthanasia/compassion event...it seems to be a time-release drug or something similar...i am filled with a pain and sorrow that feels overwhelmingly hollow...as events move forward, she comes to me to say goodbye...she has a scarf on her head...i hold her face in my hands as she speaks, then she walks away down the hall of the medical establishment

dream...

i am with a group of friends, and we are in a parking lot where there is a large vehicle/fire truck...Dawn K. & i take turns photographing each other atop the vehicle...i try to not adopt too goofy a pose

dream...

i am at a very large house, so many rooms...a party is in full swing here, so many people...i wander about, and when i see a large couch full of Grateful Dead tie -dye wearing people, i decide to join that scene...i settle in, very comfy, and just as i am digging the scene, i look to the left and notice a police officer standing there...as this awareness arises in the others, they freak out completely and start tossing weed, eating joints and all other kinds of panic including running the hell out of the house...it is chaos...i decide to do the opposite, so i calmly walk against the tide, going in the opposite direction. good decision, i miss all the negativity. as i walk out into the back courtyard, i see Joel L. and we talk and plan to get together to do something...i walk back into the house to take a shower before we go out, but each of the bathrooms i approach all are occupied...i begin to think that i will just skip the shower! i see Joel again, after he has returned from work, and we talk again...

dream pieces...

i am at the beach, walking up to someone's beach house, which they are in the process of leaving...i assure them that i will take care of the recycling needing to be done, they thank me and go...as i move about the area, the recycling just keeps on showing up, growing, overwhelming. another person has show up with the same intent, in a way we are competing, but there is just SO much...

i have come home with two boxes of cats, which i let go inside the house and caused havoc...my cats are completely freaked and stressed by this...much negativity ensues and i am so filled with anguish and guilt and sorrow and trying to make it right but it might just be too late, it is terrible...

Book & Beer

Here are a few of the fine beers I imbibed while reading The Human Age by Diane Ackerman. From Evil Twin Brewing ; "Molotov Cocktail", a Simcoe single hop Imperial IPA. From DuClaw Brewing; "Anti Venom: Centennial", a single hop IPA. And then a collaboration between Lost Rhino Brewing with Tupper's Beer; "Mother Tupper's Back Of The Cupboard", an Imperial Rye Ale.

dream...

i am at work (Westgate) and leave to get a snack...i walk down the sidewalk to a small store and buy a chocolate candy bar and an energy bar...i hand the clerk my dollar bills, but have left my coins back at my store, so i ask him if it's cool if i run and go get them! he says yes, so i hurry back up the sidewalk...there is a moonbounce with some kids in it trying to be obnoxious, and all sorts of other people around, the parking lot is busy...

dream piece...

a man is in my house trying to take a bedsheet set of mine, i get it back from him telling him that he cannot have my belongings, furthermore it was a gift from my Mother...in the ensuing conversation i look him right in his eyes and tell him that i do NOT trust him...he gets more agitated and the encounter turns uglier...i start telling him firmly to leave, then i start punching him...i try to call the police on my cell phone...more struggle, and then the D.C. cops show up and set the guy down to ask him questions...it is very uncomfortable because they are doing this in my house, i am in the same room & the guy is shooting me dagger looks...

i am overseeing the big donation project that is going on in the neighborhood...a lot of helpers and vehicles getting loaded...i go over to watch where a guy is cutting down a standing dead tree for firewood to be donated...his style is very flamboyant and artistic, but when the top of the tree comes crashing down it lands right at my foot. i am reclined on a flatbed truck watching him cut the tree, the top flies up into the air, then slow-mo down onto the flatbed, just touching my toe when it lands. just that close, but i felt no fear, just wonderment, and then a sense of relief...

FILMS VIEWED 2014

Year of the Horse: Neil Young & Crazy Horse (Jim Jarmusch), 1997

Orlando (Sally Potter), 1992

Pariah (Dee Rees), 2011

Snowpiercer (Joon-Ho Bong), 2013

Tusk (Kevin Smith), 2014

BOOKS READ 2014

• Dreams And Shadows by C Robert Cargill, 2013
• The Broom Of The System by David Foster Wallace, 1987
• Titus Groan by Mervyn Peake, 1946 (re-read)
• Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake, 1950 (re-read)
• Titus Alone by Mervyn Peake, 1959/1967 (re-read)
• Gifts of The Crow by John Marzluff & Tony Angell, 2012
• In One Person by John Irving, 2012
• Home by Toni Morrison, 2012
• Lexicon by Max Barry, 2013
• California by Edan Lepucki, 2014
• Living Downstream by Sandra Steingraber, 2010
• Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor, 2010
• Fire With Fire by Naomi Wolf, 1993
• Reading Lolita In Tehran by Azar Nafisi, 2003
• Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine, 2010
• To 'Joy My Freedom by Tara W. Hunter, 1997
• Vinegar Hill by A. Manette Ansay, 1994
• Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King, 2014
• Carsick by John Waters, 2014
• Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit, 2014
• A Natural History Of The Senses by Diane Ackerman, 1990
• Einstein's Dreams by Alan Lightman,1993
• Tipping The Velvet by Sarah Waters, 2000
• I, etcetera by Susan Sontag, 1978
• Strangers On A Train by Patricia Highsmith, 1950
• Annie John by Jamaica Kincaid, 1985
• Billy Bathgate by E.L. Doctorow, 1989
• A Photographer's Life 1990 – 2005 by Annie Leibovitz, 2006
• Blue Nights by Joan Didion, 2011
• Special Deluxe by Neil Young, 2014
• Tibetan Peach Pie by Tom Robbins, 2014
• Brain On Fire: My Month Of Madness by Susannah Cahalan, 2012
• Moments Of Being by Virginia Woolf, 1976
• The Art Of Asking by Amanda Palmer, 2014
• The Wolves Of Midwinter by Anne Rice, 2013
• Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger, 2009
• Hallucinations by Oliver Sacks, 2012
• Acid Test: LSD, Ecstasy, and The Power To Heal by Tom Shroder, 2014
• Dog Years by Mark Doty, 2007
• Wolf In White Van by John Darnielle, 2014
• Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein, 1994
• Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation Kate Bornstein & S. Bear Bergman, 2010
• The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell, 2014
• Musicophilia by Oliver Sacks, 2007
• The Human Age by Diane Ackerman, 2014

CRAFT BEER 2014

• Escape Route – Samuel Adams/The Boston Beer Company, Boston MA
• 'Cold Snap' White Ale – Sam Adams...
• 'Old Man' Winter Ale – Southern Tier Brewing Company, Lakewood NY
• Wolaver's 'Alta Gracia' Coffee Porter – Otter Creek Brewing, Middlebury VT
• 'Anubis' Imperial Coffee Porter – Laughing Dog Brewing Company, Pondery ID
• Walker's Reserve Porter - Firestone Walker Brewing Company, Paso Robles CA
• Imperial Biscotti Break - Evil Twin Brewing/Westbrook Brewing Co., Mount Pleasant SC
• 420 Extra Pale Ale – Sweetwater Brewing Company, Atlanta GA
• 'The Hairy Eyeball' Ale - Lagunitas Brewing Company, Petaluma CA
• 'Dubhe' Imperial Black IPA – Uinta Brewing Company, Salt Lake City UT
• 'Bittersweet Lenny's R.I.P.A.' -Shmaltz Brewing Company, Clifton Park NY
• “Enjoy By 02.14.14” IPA – Stone Brewing Company, Escondido CA
• “The Czar” Imperial stout – Avery Brewing Company, Boulder CO
• “Wet Hops Experiment” pale ale – Blue Point Brewing Company, Patchouge NY
• “Local Species” - Blue Mountain Barrel House, Arrington VA
• “Zoe” hoppy amber ale – Maine Beer Company, Freeport ME
• “Snapshot” wheat beer – New Belgium Brewing, Fort Collins CO
• “Smitten” golden rye ale – Bell's Brewery, Comstock MI
• Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale – Alltech's Lexington Brewing Company, Lexington KY
• “Grapefruit Slam” IPA – Stochasticity Project/Koochenvagner's Brewing Co., Escondido CA
• “Green Bullet” triple IPA – Green Flash Brewing Company, San Diego CA
• “Single Chair” - Magic Hat Brewing Company, South Burlington VT
• “Hopside Down” India style pale lager – Widmer Brothers Brewing, Portland OR
• “Mo” pale ale – Maine Beer Co...
• “Lunch” IPA – Maine Beer Co...
• “Weez” ale – Maine Beer Co...
• “Infidel” Belgian style IPA – Selkirk Abbey Brewing Co., Post Falls ID
• “Ruination” IPA - Stone Brewing
• “Chocolate Love Stout” - Yards Brewing Company, Philadelphia PA
• Dry Irish Stout – Brooklyn Brewery, Utica NY
• “Night Tripper” Imperial Stout – New Holland Brewing, Holland MI
• Side Project Vol. 21/ Smoked Pineapple Helles – Terrapin...
• “Detour” Double IPA – Uinta...
• “Cultivator” Helles Bock – Troegs Craft Brewery, Hershey PA
• New World Porter – Avery...
• Crème Brulee – Southern Tier...
• “Dark Hollow” Imperial Stout – Blue Mountain Barrel House, Arrington VA
• “Le Merle” Belgian style Farmhouse ale – North Coast Brewing Co., Fort Bragg CA
• Blueberry oatmeal Stout – Buffalo Bill's Brewery, Hayward CA
• “Jai Alai” IPA – Cigar City Brewing, Tampa FL
• “White Rascal” Belgian style white ale – Avery...
• “Yule Tide” Imperial red ale – Heavy Seas...
• “Enjoy By 04.20.14” IPA – Stone...
• Imperial Pumpkin Ale - Weyerbacher Brewing Co., Easton PA
• “Mosaic” Red Rye IPA – Terrapin...
• “The Long Thaw” White IPA – Harpoon Brewery, Boston MA & Windsor VT
• “Spring Hornin'” - Anderson Valley...
• “hop Nosh” IPA – Uinta...
• “Falco” IPA – Evil Twin...
• “Piercing Pils” - Dogfish Head...
• Porter – Founders Brewing, Grand Rapids MI
• pretzel, raspberry & chocolate ale - Rogue with Voodoo Doughnut...
• KCCO - Red Hook Brewery w/ Resignation Brewery
• “Back In Black” black IPA - 21^st Amendment Brewery, San Francisco CA
• “Mean Old Tom” vanilla bean Stout – Maine Beer Co....
• “King Titus” porter - Maine Beer Co...
• “Good Juju” ginger beer – Left Hand Brewing Co., Longmont CO
• “Catty Wompus” Belgian IPA – Devil's Backbone...
• “Raven's Roost” baltic porter – Parkway Brewing Co., Salem VA
• “Smells Like A Safety Meeting” IPA – Dark Horse Brewing Co., Marshall MI
• “Fresh Slice” white IPA – Otter Creek Brewing, Middlebury VT
• “Dirt Wolf” double IPA – Victory Brewing Co., Downington PA
• “Mephistopheles” stout – Avery...
• Double Stout Black Ale – Green Flash...
• Black Saison Ale – Stillwater Artisinal, Stratford CT
• “Coco Psycho” Russian Stout – Brewdog, Scotland
• “Freudian Slip” barley wine ale – Evil Twin Brewing...
• “Ashtray Heart” smoked porter - Evil Twin...
• “Summer Helles” lager - New Belgium...
• Belgian Style Golden Ale - Stillwater...
• “Nitro” milk stout – Left Hand...
• “Overgrown” APA – Otter Creek...
• “Rye Cubed” triple rye IPA – Terrapin...
• “Eurotrash Pilz” - Southern Tier...
• “Farmer's Tan” IPA – Southern Tier...
• “Galactica” IPA – Clown Shoes/Mercury Brewing Co., Ipswich MA
• “Nineteen” mango wheat ale - Weyerbacher Brewing Co., Easton PA
• English Pale Ale – Old Bust Head Brewing Co., Vint Hill VA
• “Chukker” Czech pilsner – Old Bust Head...
• “Funk” blueberry citrus wheat – DuClaw...
• “Summer Solstice” ale – Anderson Valley...
• “Devil Dancer” triple IPA – Founders Brewing Co., Grand Rapids MI
• Single Hop Citra Imperial IPA – Flying Dog...
• “Bloodline” blood orange ale – Flying Dog...
• “Dark Seas” Russian imperial stout – Mission Brewery, San Diego CA
• “Blindfold” IPA – Sierra Nevada...
• “Nooner” session IPA - Sierra Nevada
• “Snow Wit” white IPA – Sierra Nevada
• “Ichabod” pumpkin ale – New Holland Brewing, Holland MI
• “Wild Blue” blueberry lager – Blue Dawg Brewing, St. Louis MO
• “Blue” blueberry wheat ale – SweetWater...
• “Tour de Fall” pale ale – New Belgium...
• “Hopfentea” wheat ale – Perennial Artisan Ales, St. Louis MO
• “Night Time” ale – Lagunitas...
• “Whiter Shade Of Pale Ale” white IPA – Starr Hill...
• White IPA – Green Flash...
• “Goat Boy” imperial weizenbock – Southern Tier...
• “Dragon's Milk” ale with chilies – New Holland...
• “Four Pillars” imperial IPA – Lickinghole Creek Craft Brewery, Goochland VA
• “Magic Beaver” Belgian-style pale ale – Lickinghole Creek...
• “Nuclear Nugget” Imperial honey IPA – Lickinghole Creek...
• Marionberry Braggot – Rogue Farms...
• “Tangerine Dreamsicle” - Terrapin & Green Flash...
• 7 Hop IPA – Rogue Farms...
• “Strawberry Schwarzcake” German-style black lager w/strawberries – Wild Wolf Brewing Co., Nellysford VA
• “Thirteenth Hour” dark Belgian-style stout – Samuel Adams...
• “Citra Ass Down” double IPA – Against The Grain Brewery, Westminster MD
• “Quadro Triticale” Belgian-style quadrupel ale – Stone Stochasticity Project...
• “Delirium Red” Belgian ale -Huyghe Brewery, Belgium
• “Undead Party Crasher” American Imperial Stout – Clown Shoes...
• “Sonnet” Belgian-style lemongrass ale – Southern Tier...
• Virginia Blackberry Belgian-Style White Ale – Hardywood Park Craft Brewery, Richmond VA
• “Another One” IPA – Maine Beer Co...
• “Red Wheelbarrow” ale – Maine Beer Co...
• “Rad” fruit juice ale- Six Point Brewery, Brooklyn NY
• “Nomader Weisse” Berliner-style weisse ale – EvilTwin...
• “Missile” IPA – Champion Brewing Co., Charlottesville VA
• “Better Half” American IPA – Mikkeller/Sly Fox Brewing Co., Pottstown PA
• Yakima Wheat Ale – Schlafly Brewing Co., Stevens Point WI
• Pumpkin Ale – Schlafly...
• “Warlock” Imperial pumpkin stout – Southern Tier...
• “B/A/Y/S” Imperial Stout, bourbon barrel aged – Adroit Theory Brewing Co., Purcellville VA
• White Beer – Allagash Brewing Co., Portland ME
• “The Last Word” tart ale with key lime & herbs – Perennial Artisan Ales...
• “Wake Up Dead” imperial stout – Left Hand...
• “Jurata” Baltic porter – Coronado Brewing, Coronado CA & Cigar City Brewing, Tampa FL (collaboration)
• “Chocolate Bunny” chocolate stout – Rhinelander Brewing Co., Monroe WI
• “Fermentation Without Representation” imperial pumpkin porter – (collaboration) Epic Brewing, Salt Lake City UT & D.C. Brau, Washington D.C.
• “Pumpkin Ain't Easy” Belgian-style ale – Lickinghole creek...
• “Fat Jack” double pumpkin ale – Samuel Adams...
• “The Greater Pumpkin” imperial ale – Heavy Seas...
• “Killsner” GWAR Beer by Cigar City Brewing...
• “Gillespie Brown Ale” - Twisted Manzanita Ales, San Diego CA
• “Mars” double IPA – Bell's Brewery...
• “Expedition” stout – Bell's Brewery...
• “Hop Flood” amber ale – Evil Twin...
• “Yin” imperial Taiji stout – Evil Twin...
• “Yang” imperial Taiji IPA – Evil Twin...
• “Debutante” ale with heather, honeysuckle & hyssop – Stillwater Artisanal...
• “Red Seal Ale” North Coast Brewing Co., Fort Bragg CA
• “White Hatter” Belgian-style WPA – New Holland...
• “Curmudgeon” oak aged old ale – Founders...
• “Velvet Glove” imperial stout – Iron Fist Brewing Co., Vista CA
• Porter – Southern Tier
• “Country Pumpkin” - Ithaca Beer Co., Ithaca NY
• Pumpkin Ale – Alewerks Brewing Co., Williamsburg VA
• “Redmarker” ale – Alewerks...
• Oktoberfest – Yuengling, Pottsville PA
• “Breakfast” oatmeal coffee stout – Mikkeller, Lervig Aktiebryggeri Norway
• “Maple Mistress” imperial ale with butternut squash, maple syrup & spices – Saucony Creek Brewing Co., Kutztown PA
• Galaxy single hop imperial IPA – Flying Dog...
• Gratzer ale – New Belgium... & 3 Floyds (collaboration)
• “Witch's Hair” pumpkin ale – Twisted Manzanita...
• “The Mad Elf” ale with honey and cherries – Troegs Craft Brewery, Hershey PA
• “Skellington” Pumpkin spice Coffee Stout – Triple Crossing Brewing, Richmond VA
• “Cannibalism” milk stout – Adroit Theory...
• salted Belgian chocolate stout – New Belgium & Perennial Artisan (collaboration)...
• “Retribution” bourbon barrel imperial stout – DuClaw...
• “Farmhouse Pumpkin” - Hardywood...
• “Pecan Bar” porter – Adroit Theory...
• “Scorpion” black IPA – Adroit...
• “Bloody Roots” imperial brown ale with honey, tomatoes, celery salt, horseradish & habaneros– Adroit & 3 Notched (collaboration)...
• Mushroom Stout – Adroit
• “Saviours & Guillotines” imperial saison aged in red wine barrels – Adroit...
• “Virginia Black Bear” Russian imperial stout – Lickinghole Creek...
• Rye Whiskey Barrel Pumpkin farmhouse ale – Hardywood...
• “Holiday Cheer” peach pecan ale – Shiner...
• “Hop Noir” black IPA – Peak Organic Brewing Co., Portland ME
• “Timber Beast” rye IPA – Lazy Magnolia Brewing Co., Kiln MS
• “Red Hoppocalypse” imperial ale – Apocalypse Ale Works, Forest VA
• “Blitzen” Belgian-style christmas ale – Blue Mountain...
• Scottish Porter – Innis & Gunn, Edinburgh Scotland
• “Guilty, Filthy Soul” chocolate rye porter – DuClaw...
• “Chocolate Sombrero” chocolate ancho chili stout – Clown Shoes...
• Harvest Ale wet-hopped ale – Founders...
• Gingerbread Stout – Hardywood...
• “The Poet” oatmeal stout – New Holland...
• “Snowdrift” vanilla porter – Leinenkugel Brewing Co., Milwaukee WI
• Harvest Northern Hemisphere wet hop IPA – Sierra Nevada...
• “I Love You With My Stout” - Evil Twin...
• “One” oatmeal stout – Dark Horse...
• “Natalie Pretty Please With A Cherry On Top” Imperial biscotti break porter – Evil Twin
• “Femme Fatale Noir” black India pale Ale – Evil Twin...
• “Boomerang IPA” - Sierra Nevada...
• “Enjoy By 12.26.14”IPA – Stone Brewing...
• “Big Bad Baptist” imperial stout – Epic Brewing...
• “Long John Lager” - Saranac...
• “B.O.R.I.S. The Crusher” oatmeal imperial stout – Hoppin' Frog Brewing Co., Akron OH
• “Hoplar” imperial IPA – Hardywood...
• “American Beauty” imperial pale ale – Dogfish Head...
• “Puppy Dawg Tales” Belgian-style Winter Ale – Parkway...
• “Merry Christmas Happy New Year 2014” ale - Anchor Brewing, San Francisco CA
• “a tiny beautiful something” ale – Maine Beer Co...
• “Starlit” star anise porter – Magic Hat...
• “Encore” American wheat IPA – Magic Hat...
• “Snow Roller” Hoppy brown ale – Magic Hat...
• “The Muddy” imperial stout – Goose Island...
• “Coffeehouse Stout” - Alewerks...
• “Gingerbread Head” ale – Shipyard Brewing, Portland ME
• “Cabin Fever” brown ale – New Holland...
• “Black Me Stout” - collaboration between Against Me! & Champion Brewing Co., Charlottesville VA
• “Narwhal” imperial stout/barrel aged – Sierra Nevada...
• “Collaboration Not Litigation” ale – Avery Brewing & Russian River Brewing Co.
• “Saison du Buff” herbal ale – Dogfish Head...
• “Winter Warmer” ale w/cinnamon & nutmeg - Harpoon Brewery...
• “Mother Tupper's Back Of The Cupboard” imperial rye ale – Lost Rhino Brewing Co., Ashburn VA in collaboration with Tupper's Beer
• “Morning Wood” oak aged coffee amber ale – Pub Dog Brewing Co., Westminster MD
• “Christmas Ale” - Great Lakes Brewing Co., Cleveland OH
• “Mercury” Belgian-style ale- Bell's...
• “Bourbon Barrel GBS” gingerbread stout – Hardywood...
• Caramel Macchiato Milk Stout – Adroit Theory...
• “Not A Beautiful And Unique Snowflake” holiday ale – Adroit Theory
• “OFUS” ginger Tripel – Adroit Theory
• “Zero” coffee IPA – Adroit...
• “Zero” neutral oaked coffee IPA – Adroit
• “Trendy TRIPA” triple IPA – collaboration between Adroit Theory & Three Notch'd Brewing in Charlottesville VA
• “Gentleman Farmer Fresh Hop Ale” - Lickinghole Creek...
• “Master Of Disguise” imperial golden stout – Stone Stochasticity Project...
• “Abraxas” ale w/ancho chilies, cacao nibs & cinnamon sticks – Perennial...

dream

i am helping Steph T. move...she is going into a new apartment, so i am hauling up stuff for her...one thing is a grocery shopping cart...the apartment is taking shape,a plant or two, nice windows...Frank Mc. is there (?!?)

dream pieces...

i am at work, trying to open my locker...i cannot get the combination correctly, no matter how many different ways i try, and the lock keeps changing...i grow worried, for i fear that i will be late...i try to get help

i am looking for a slide to put [something] on so that we can view it under the microscope...

dream...

there is a big meeting about to happen...i am talking with another attendee, and she says that Sage S. is going to also be here...i am excited about this, and look for him as more people begin to arrive, as more people sit in the chairs provided, as more cars pull into the parking lot

i go into a public restroom, in the stall i am pulling up my pants after urinating...two young boys, teenagers, have come into the restroom, one is standing inside the stall that i am in as the door was open...i tell him that i will be done in just a moment, or that he could go to the men's room across the hall...the two of them go out the door to the other restroom...as i am walking out i mention to anyone that men have been coming into the women's room all day! - then i am in the men's room scooping kitty crunchies back into the container there (which is like the air hand dryer)...a tall man walks into the restroom and tells me that he is going into the stall there, i tell him that i was just cleaning up, adding more toilet paper for them and all...we both say "o.k.!" to each other and i exit

depressed in my dreams...depressed all day - mildly functional, though...what is the point of it all? there is joy, but there is self-loathing...

After Work Walk With Rhiannon

rain rivulets washing washing
tides of
moving moving
we keep stride beside
we walk
and smell and breathe as we walk
as the rain falls sounding shining centering

dream pieces

i am looking for a particular place, and my co-worker Khoshal will help me, we are walking with another co-worker...i realize that i know the place, so we just walk together until Khoshal turns down a worn path. i jog over to him to see what is up, he says that he is going back, and i realize that his 15 minute break is over. so we hug, and off he goes.

dream pieces

i am in a car with some acquaintances and we are driving on Rt. 234 in Manassas down by and past the Mall ...

i am at work and two people who might be co-workers forbid me to consume any alcohol in my personal time whatsoever. they are strange/shady characters, i am trying to discuss this with them. one of them keeps insinuating that my job performance is low, and that i have done something wrong, like stealing or such. it is very strange, because she keeps sidling off and not really telling me what she means, or what the issue is, won't look me directly in the eyes...then i realize that it is past time to close the store, so i go to lock the doors, and have a difficult time with that. the customers just keep on coming in, no matter what i do or say...