Saturday, July 28, 2012


early morning, driving
rollings hills/farmland
sun shining golden
on the green soybean fields

slow road with
acoustic guitar
my life is
movie/right now
the soundtrack by
the Avett Brothers

Friday, July 27, 2012

travel, music & art

you don't know how i wanted to shine for you. how your encouragement brought out the very best in me. how huge the potential for us was, how much we could have accomplished together. i ache every time i think about that being gone now. i must, and will, do it on my own, but i really did want to share it with you.

random notes from this past week

  • I just want to listen to Jane's Addiction.
  • Calling friends to keep myself from texting you.
  • I am going to make this shizz happen, all on my own.
  • All sorts of friend and acquaintance love, but no intimate love.
  • You did not answer direct questions, even though you loved to ask them!
  • I must remember not to hate myself as I try to figure this shit out.
  • I need to stop carrying my phone around with me as if you were about to send me a text message. As if our wonderful and terribly missed communication was about to resume.
  • Just a simple "I'm sorry." would be very welcome.


misted droplets camouflage
hot tears
memory brought by sound
the loss of you felt
along every nerve

Lessons Not Learned Yet

"Congress is not preparing to defend the people of the United States. It is planning to protect the capital of American speculators and investors.... Incidentally this preparation will benefit the manufacturers of munitions and war machines.... Strike against war, for without you no battles can be fought! Strike against manufacturing shrapnel and gas bombs and all other tools of murder! Strike against preparedness that means death and misery to millions of human beings! Be not dumb, obedient slaves in an army of destruction! Be heroes in an army of construction!"
-Helen Keller at Carnegie Hall January 5, 1916

lunch @scorched earth

silver shine of strong sun on the blue sky leaf dance breeze

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Today is my strong day (head held high), but all it took was the distinctive rattle of two diesel Ford trucks pulling trailers, coming into the parking lot by the garden center front gates to send me spinning right back into sorrow. I started shaking, and the tears came hot and gut-wrenching.

I will also be very glad when the sound of a received text message does not cause my heart & stomach to jump with excitement. But oh, how I miss that communication. Ironic, considering how it ended with complete non-communication.

another train poem

plaintive whistle blares
and my heart fills with
curious to find where the steel rumble
goes/where it has been
the adventure of the distance
and the
getting there

Monday, July 23, 2012

dream sequence

Amanda L., another woman and i are arm-in-arm walking & dancing out of the store (grocery?) we were in and onto the sidewalk, singing all the while...the wide concrete sidewalk has been recently hosed down so it is beautifully clean, shiny and wet...

Sunday, July 22, 2012

"That sounds like a Tom Petty Song"

misty rain and a
heart full of love


no longer do my past mistakes haunt me
in insomniac episodes
no longer do i spend sleepless hours
calming my racing heart from the stress
and yet i still have not
broken through the wall
i cannot help but feel, however
that i am only two
steps away

Friday, July 20, 2012

Sunday, July 08, 2012

dream piece

we are visiting someone, and i have Calypso with us...her cage is in a spot that has a leaking water issue, so i am picking up her cage and getting her out of it & making sure that she is o.k. and cleaning the cage...i am playing with her & washing her little feet...