Thursday, December 15, 2005

Early morning activists...

Chuck tells me about the dream he's just had where he is at a rally and decides to get one of the banners/signs, and it's Michael Moore handing them out! So he gets to meet Michael, and it's really cool. So i then tell him about picking up all the trash and stuff in my dream. He says, "I was thinking globally and you were acting locally."

dream segment.....

there has been a big party at the clubhouse...there are bottles and cans and trash all over my back yard and over by the basketball court...i begin to collect all the trash to put into the trash can, and all the bottles and other recycleables into the bin...some people are still milling about, and comment on what i am doing, mostly negatively...some's mostly beer bottles and cans; but i also find pink plastic containers of "Nair", citronella scent!? i am tossing some bottles into a big bin, i'm having trouble throwing with my left arm, it feels weak...

i am by a big river, Melian is asleep in the bedroom of our cabin close by...i find a big pile of her stuff, small stuff: coins and whatnot...i begin to organize them into separate piles...Melian awakens and walks over to see what i am doing, then goes back to her room...

Monday, December 12, 2005

"Where Is My Beer Chakra?"

Where is my Beer Chakra?
taking root, growing as hops from the earth
with the sweetness of water,
then feeling the fire.
Where is my Beer Chakra?
anticipatory breath
the heart soars/even as the liquid pours down the throat,
Hold the glass up/the sunlight shining through
now, I know
my Beer Chakra
traverses all Seven.

The glass being now empty, one/meditates
upon another,
bottle opener
in hand.

(March 26, 2001)

Monday, December 05, 2005


i am at a horse racing track, the day's races have been run...i am now cleaning the water cooler, it has gotten very dusty during the races...

Mish has a new boy toy, and she makes a loving joke about his butt, as she pats him on the same...

i have a small amount of cocaine, and i am fidgeting about the house deciding whether to do it or not...

dream pieces.....

Dawn is taking care of Melian for me...i go to pick her up, Dawn is driving her old big station wagon, i follow them down Ridge Road, just before the Mountain Road stop sign, she pulls over, and i get Melian from her...

I am walking through a body moves slowly & with difficulty...a woman stops to offer me a ride in her car, but just at that time a "van" stops too, and it is my friends, so i thank the woman but get into the "van" with the i climb in the driver says that it's not really a van, but a plastic shell in the shape of a van which is on a car's difficult to climb in, it wobbles like a canoe on water!

I am driving a white van through a construction site...i am highly interested in the soil at this site...i park the van and begin messing with the soil, looking at the different types, and planning on using the soil in some project i am working on...i find some cell packs of abandoned marigolds...i am picking through them to see which ones i can use/ i am taking one cell pack i've salvaged back to the work van, a guy with the construction site comes up to me to inform me of the need to leave all the soil where it is...i introduce myself by name, "with Metro Electric", and tell him of the job i've been sent there to do; which is finish the landscaping around the electrical box...i tell him that i think i'd be nice to use these tossed-out marigolds around the box...he gives me the go-ahead, so i get back into the van and drive to look for the box...i think i should see it easily, but i do i drive, i decide to call Chuck and ask him where it is, as i think i've passed it...the road winds away from the construction, and looks decidedly park-like...

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

dream sequence...

i am skateboarding at the basketball feels very good...i stop and talk with a couple of skaters from the neighborhood...

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


My trail dog extraordinaire...taking a snooze in the garden, resting her hindquarters in a freshly dug hole...this, my friends, is living...on our hike today we saw a grouse; many, many deer; an assortment of smaller birds & quite a few members of the grey squirrel population...Rhiannon got in many good sniffs and three high-quality stinky-stuff rolls...she paddled around in a small forest pool and got so happy afterwards we had to skip and run for a while! I'm telling you she can really pick a trail...Posted by Picasa


Hours cut at work gives me a day off during the week. Of course i stress about the $$$, but look at what else i gain! Rhiannon & i take a two-hour hike through the woods after dropping my daughter off at school for her chorus practice. Oh, and what a wonderfully beautiful day to do such a thing! I get caught up on the newspaper and some e-mail...i get some stuff done around the house...i feel good, relaxed, and content...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


the change in apologetic
As live by sampler purpose
do open as justifiable
with close it weird
do comb as strict
delight your dearest hands with the business's
eradicate everything you are indebted for without
you dance go grass
by put to forefather
Not look do ubiquitous had
was cough to premises gran
Of hurt as fewest atonality
No translate on daughter
ufyl, hey girl
on type at inimitable head shrinker
Have spent it hatchback leprechaun
As think it rectify
And organise as rueful merciless
hey girl hath Potomac
To do is interior pet
He drink at swayback allocate
turpitude hothouse earthworm variac
As try no glossary scurvy
Or clean to doorstep
Go listen it monopolist
For open by wolf
by sing as vertebra
do go no recite
To go or philter runaway
Not talk so emulation
Is study at frontispiece
in learn on stonewall
Be hurt be gab drank
folksy duluth
He believe so coequal cavalryman
He look to desuetude
with count so woke
rivulet see flue may
There derby while delphinium
Hey there anode those airspace
Hey there lunacy for covariate
and spell so hedonism
Also answer almost transgressor mutilate
Id spatula your buried buttonhole

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

dream segment.....

i am entering The Hirshorn museum...i am thinking about how long it's been since i've been here! there are many changes inside as i walk around...many different and interesting exhibits...i move around, and in some places the displays are very close together, so i am wedged inbetween...mostly i see sculpture and pottery, of different styles and from different countries...

Monday, October 03, 2005

Me & Buddy

Monday, August 08, 2005

comeonbaby light my FIRE...

Well, i finally did it. i burned all my diaries...starting 1974...i had burned all my previous ones many years ago...i've been writing diaries/journals since the first grade...i've been feeling really bothered recently by certain elements of my past; misguided relationships and all this past Saturday night i knew just what to do, fire up the grill and have a bonfire! it's really quite amazing how much better i feel. Chuck and i pulled up the camp chairs and just talked all the while we burned my writings, it was fantastic!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

dream segment.....

(another Ford truck dream!)

Chuck and i have an old Ford truck which is made completely of wood. A beautiful blonde wood. Pine? Oak? i'm not drive this beautiful wood-body truck, we back it out of the garage and take it on down the road, it's really quite amazing to drive...all of the mechanics of it are steel/metal and all that, but the body is wood...

Monday, June 06, 2005

Lowest Common Denominator.....

Human Overpopulation. That's it. Ties up all the loose ends. Think of every problem on this Planet, and each and every one of them can be traced back to human overpopulation. Just why do we think that we are so damned important? I realized this many years ago, at the tender age of 15. The Winter of my 15th year was very pivotal. Many aspects of who i am were formed that Season. Much of my World View as well. Same thing. Remember the old Feminist saying, "The personal IS political"???; yeah.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Marvelous film.....

I just finished watching "Elling", as a matter of fact the credits are still is absolutely amazing! Norwegian, 2001...directed by Petter Naess...must-see status!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005


the moon transits into Taurus
and brings my menses
every lunation

productive Earth sign: moist and determined

i flow patient/sensual
i am intractable, and secure in my element
sometimes languid as i grow in the awareness of my body's expression
of self

i notice the changes that have begun
a different pace
a different pattern
the tides of a womon, the tides of a planet
feel the pull, feel the opening
feel the
beginning, feeding the

Aural emotional depth.....

i am listening to "With_Teeth" by NIN and composing a poem about menstruation...does this not seem like a fitting occupation for a Piscean Moon transit evening? I've got a blazing fire in the woodstove, and the windows open...warmth and fresh Spring air all at the same time...Lorraine teases me when i do this, but she doesn't complain...Chuck agrees with me that it's a cozy, wonderful to switch gears: i had the oddest feeling today; that i've lost my ability to speak with any coherence! I swear, i don't know what the deal has been recently, but i have not been able to put my thoughts into words, vocally...tounge-tied, juggling words, drawing blanks; all that stuff...not my usual slick-tounged talkin' self at all...hhmmmm...great goddess somebody get that grrl a higher dose of Ginko Biloba and a shot of cocaine and turn her loose!

Saturday, April 30, 2005

dream segment.....

i am driving an older model Ford pick-up, bright red with lots of girlfriend is with me...the hood of the truck has a big, long chrome piece shaped like a slinking jaguar all down the i am driving, this middle piece makes it difficult to see whether i am in my lane properly or not! ...i must shift my vision to either the right or left to make sure i am not drifting over into the other lane! ...we come to a mountain pass which is snowed in, we get stuck...(i guess the truck is not 4-wheel drive??) so i get out to push us out of the snow...a polar bear comes charging up on my right...i feel fear, but she/he just sniffs me a lot, and then goes on over the roadway & down the embankment off to my left...i must have passed inspection! i get us unstuck and on we go...we come to a nice camping area, others there are very friendly...

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

New Job.....

Yes, once again it's New Job Time for Sandi! I have changed jobs more this past year than ever before, it seems. But check this out, it's a good thing. I am assistant manager at a new ice-cream store owned/opened by a childhood friend. She has been asking me for a while to join her, and i have finally made that move. We just opened this past weekend, and it's great. We are going to have booming business at our location. And it's fun!...i am also appreciated for my hard work, and that means a lot. So, it's been rather hectic these past two weeks...getting ready-set-go for opening...both my reading & writing have suffered...but not the home projects! Chuck & i have almost finished the new retaining wall for the vegetable garden expansion! It's beautiful! It's huge, and mega-sturdy! 2,000 years from now it will still be standing, and future archeologists will be left in wonderment! But think about (back to the present) all the "extra" tomato and hot pepper plants that i'll be growing this year! Yeah! Oh, and back to the ice cream store; one of my duties is making the ice cream fresh every day (insert big smile here)...i have come up with a 'signature flavor', very special: Jalapeno Cheesecake! Oh, baby...

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Chanson du Jour.....

I literally woke up with Pat Benatar's song "Hell is for Children" playing in my head. It wasn't on the radio alarm, and i don't think it was in what i was dreaming...even though i'm not sure just what it was that i was dreaming at the time...and the song went on playing in my head until i got to work.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

dream segment.....

I am driving up Route 15 through Leesburg. There is a dark color (black? navy blue?), newer model Cadillac in front of me. The person driving it isn't the best of drivers, i notice. He (in the dream i think of this person as male) is going slow up the hill in Old Town, then guns it and runs the red light. I'm doing that cussing at "the other driver" thing when i notice to my right that there is a "Whole Foods" grocery store! I see people on the sidewalk, going into the store. I'm so thrilled! I'm thinking when did this get built? I file the information away for future reference in my memory as i drive on through town. I will be back!.....

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Piscean Moon.....

I had the small, but intense feeling today during the afternoon that everybody was feeling very was a good thought, and a great vibe.....

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Joonie & Rhiannon Reaching Out

"Pharmacists' Rights".....

On 3/28/05, the Washington Post ran an amazing above-the-fold article on the subject of pharmacist's right to refuse the filling of prescriptions that they might feel personally abhorrent. To me this just seems to go against the entire idea of entering the medical field. The article shows us that this idea is primarily focused on the (surprise!!!) reproductive meds. In other words, these pharmacists are refusing to fill a woman's birth control pill prescription. They are refusing to fill a woman's "morning-after" pill prescription. Some of the pharmacists refusing are ones who believe that ANY form of contraception is abortion.( One woman who was refused her prescription in Milwaukee for the morning-after pill had the nerve-wracking experience of a condom breaking during sex with her husband.) I personally feel that if a pharmacist thinks his/her religious and/or personal ideologies could interfere with his/her performance of medically sanctioned duties that he/she should resign and find another outlet.
UPDATE: on April 1st, Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich (D) issued an emergency rule which requires pharmacies to fill contraceptive 'scrips "without delay". The rule is in effect immediately, and will be up for review to make it permanent. This in contrast to the 11 other states which are considering laws to allow pharmacists to refuse. Blagojevich has also set up a toll-free number for residents to call and report any refusals. Imagine that! A politician who listened to his constituents, and responded! Great job...

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Organic Farming Redux...

Last month 27 children died in Manila from eating one of their staple foods; cassava root. Why? The crop had been sprayed with a pesticide of the carbamate family. Talk about an outrage. I wonder which of our chemical manufacturing giants provided the poison this time?

Friday, March 11, 2005

Microbrew Meow

Buddy Has A Black & Tan
Note the foam on the whiskers...yes, my boy does enjoy a good beer...i've always had dogs that loved good beer, this is my first kitty who imbibes...i fondly recall the times that Rocky (huge German Shephard) would purposefully knock over the brewskis Mom & i would be having at the time...(i have many Polaroid photos of this particular act!) then he would gleefully slurp up the doggie companion now, named Rhiannon, will ask for her beer in her special Beer Bark, so you know to pour a bowl for her pleasure...

In Memory of Betty...

Dill & Black Swallowtail caterpillar
i lived for two weeks on coffee
and Guinness
you couldn't eat, so i couldn't eat
i slept in 15 minute intervals, if at all
the tiniest sound, i was there
you didn't want the morphine
you didn't want the diaper
i held your hand, i told you it was o.k.
i hollered, i laughed, i hated those tumors
you shrunk, they grew
you wouldn't go until i was out of the room
you headstrong Aries Womon, i love you

4 Betty, 1976...

trailing-arbutus womon
has shown me mosses

aries womon
from whose womb i come
our sacred connection
cord through which we nourish each other
now not seen, but known
mother and daughter/magic blood
we know the secrets
our eyes speak

the love i have for you is
beyond words

dream segment...

i am at a large warehouse-type building with a companion, we are finding coins in this one filing cabinet-shaped structure...he/she goes into another room, i continue to find coins, they are now half-dollars in large quantities...i pick then all up and put them into the front pockets of the work apron i am wearing, they are quite hefty...when the deluge of coins stops, i look under the folders and find more little coins that had fallen earlier; thinking, "i might as well get them all"...and "now we'll split them all evenly, half & half!"...i go to find my companion...

Monday, March 07, 2005

dream segment...

i am hanging out with Gwynne, and we have come to the place where her cats are...there are boxes of chocolate...i am eating Reese cups as she checks on her cats...something bad has happened to one of her cats...she calls out from the other room for me to help her...i walk in munching on a mega-Reese's...she has her cat on an operating table-type set up, and is removing these huge metal staples from the kitty...she needs me to help by holding the cat's front paws, i set down the candy and reach out to is quite intense as we work together to remove all of this metal from the cat...we have no anesthesia, we are very worried, we work as quickly as we can, wondering who has done this horrible thing?...

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Joonie the last of the Old Dynasty, and Splash the progenitor of the new.....Edie (my O.C.; that stands for Original Cat) was Joonie's Mom, and Splash is the Mom of Panther, Buddy, Tyga and Dot.....

1992 Presidential Election.....

This was the bumpersticker i made up for that election:
"I'm not voting for George Bush, I'm not voting for Bill Clinton...
I'm voting for GEORGE CLINTON!!!
Let's put some FUNK in the White House!!!"

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

More MUST- reads.....

What's the Matter With Kansas? by Thomas Frank, and Thieves in High Places by Jim Hightower....

Hightower has been my hero since 1976 when i read his book Eat Your Heart Out...which of course is a "must-read" if you have not yet!

Monday, February 28, 2005

Dream Segment.....

I am at a party, and it's time to go...i round up my friend Maxie, who is going to get a ride home with me...i check to make sure i have my car keys, we go to the parking lot...(it's like an apartment complex parking lot, but with grass) I put the key to the door of a white VW Bug's driver side, and as i turn the key, the car collapses...i realize that this is my '72 that got totalled, i laugh tell Maxie...parked next to it is my '66, so we go and get into it, i start it up, and off we go...the driving is a little bit weird, but we go on...we stop somewhere and get out, Maxie & i are walking down an alley-sized walkway, he's a bit ahead of me...i am aware of large quantities of snakes on the walkway, some are writhing about...i become fearful, one; a cobra, bites me on my face...i am really scared and concerned, on the verge of freaking out about being bitten by a poisonous snake, i have it's head in my hand, and show it to someone, voicing my worry...they tell me not to worry as it hasn't bitten me in a fatal manner...i'm still upset, and trying to tell people...i finally find Maxie, and tell him, and we leave, walking back up the walkway past these snakes, but i notice that some of them are dead...

Precipitational perambulations.....

I absolutely adore my home when it snows. Everything inside is so cozy. It's wonderful to look outside and see the snow. Eveything outside is so beautiful. It's wonderful to stand outside and look all around, see the accumulation on the ground and trees; and the happy vision of the house, smoke puffing out the chimney, cats sitting at the kitchen window wondering what i'm doing just standing there, looking around. A deeply snowy day gives a deeper meaning to all that i do. I remember one time as a teenager (the '70s) having a snowy day by myself here, and listening to Carole King's album "Rhymes & Reasons", filling me with an emotional depth that i carry to this day.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Breakfast & Lunch...

1. huge apple-fritter donut & 22 oz. Guinness
2. The Station Agent directed by Thomas McCarthy
Ratchet up my personal rating for The Hedonist's Club, baby...

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Dream segment...

I am traveling with a companion in the arid an arroyo, he comes upon a large reptilian beast; huge, sleeping, we know it for an omniscient being...soon we are at the being's temple and taking turns at audience...i am second, so i wait my turn at the gift shop...Becky Logan is behind the counter, working there...i look around the shop, i see many things: jewelry and all that...i come across CDs, and put on some jazz...alto saxophone music to be exact, the musician's name is Max something (sort of a cross between Miles Davis and Dexter Gordon), and the music pleases the being...when it is my turn to talk with him, we discuss this music and more philosophy...then i awake

Monday, February 14, 2005

Support who?...

To those who purchase these magnetic "Support Our Troops" car stickers: did you check where this item was made when you bought it? Have you noticed that most all of them are now made in China? How does this support our troops? Who is it supporting? Do you realize that many of our military families are buying important supplies for their family members who are overseas fighting because our government isn't outfitting them properly? Washington puts up big numbers for military spending, but the money goes to the big weapons-makers, it goes to corporate.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Audio-Visual Aids...

Two must-see movies: "Real Women Have Curves" and "Rabbit-Proof Fence"....i just viewed them this week, and was quite impressed with both.
Am now reading The Lies of George W. Bush by David Corn...

Friday, January 28, 2005

Trigeminal Grumpiness...

I just had one of the weirdest lunar Leo transits in recent memory. Three days of bad mood. Self-loathing. Inertia. No yoga, no walk, no weightlifting, no housework. But lots of angry eating. And the negative thing about that was i wasn't even enjoying what i was narfing down. And no PMS as the reason, i'd ended my monthly cycle last week. The kicker to all this being the fact that there was a Leo Full Moon Tuesday! I usually really rock out at such a time. On a positive note, i did read...but i didn't write.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

more Bushwhacked...

I was going to launch a vituperative harangue about Dubya's "education" policy (public education being something i believe in), but after finishing Ms. Ivin's book, it's altogether too difficult to focus right now on just that one issue as a subject of personal outrage. I'd be here writing a book-length posting. While that might not be that bad of an idea, i'll just say for the time being that i want everybody to read this book!

Thursday, January 13, 2005


Thank you, John Dean, for recommending Molly Ivins & Lou DuBose's book. I began reading it this afternoon, and it's the bomb.

Dream segment...

My daughter and i are reclining together on a couch in the living room of our house...i notice a medium-sized mirror hanging over the computer desk, which is inclined toward us...suddenly, my daughter vanishes...i hear a grinding noise coming from the mirror, and feel it trying to pull me into it... at this point i awaken with an outcry

Wednesday, January 12, 2005


Just finished John Dean's Worse Than, very highly recommended...well written from a man who knows how the presidency works...

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

We feel safer?

Yesterday's Washington Post brought us the news that CIA director Goss is eliminating the daily 5p.m. counterterrorism meetings which Tenet initiated after 9/11. These meetings involved CIA , FBI, Pentagon and Homeland Security officials. Goss will be replacing these with smaller meetings three mornings a week. Here's my favorite quote: (from an administration official), "If something exploded, [Goss] would get briefed right away." Gee, that's great! The article features a photo of Goss and Bush standing together. Then today's Post gives us front page news about the inauguration: the Bush administration has refused to pay D.C. for inaugural expenses. They told D.C. to use money allocated for homeland security instead. Again, that's just great. I for one do not see the need for millions of dollars being spent on this inauguration whatever the source. I think that Bush is once again showing a total disregard for reality. It's tactless. This is not the time for a big glitzy high dollar extravaganza. He had that $40 million party last time. Think of all that could be done with $40 mil right now, elsewhere.

Monday, January 10, 2005


Fiction in between the political tome onslaught; began Daemonomania by John Crowley on Saturday. Immediately pulled into this world both magical and erotic and, what? Only a third of the way into it, so the potential is looming so enticingly before me.
Yes, today was a "me" day. Reading, staring out the window, wandering around the yard, chili for lunch! Ah...writing too, a little bit. Content...

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

catching up...

Ah, the holidays...lots of quality time being spent with loved ones, then WHAM-MO...i'm sick, serious smack-down sick. In bed for four days, don't eat, little sleep, drifting around in dreams, "lots of fluids", some reading when i could get past the headache. Oh yeah. Melian was a real trooper, feeding herself and the critters. My sense of smell was really heightened during and after. That was cool. I gradually re-introduced myself to the joys of food on the fifth day. Went into a different room of the house! Wow! Look at me, i'm standing up! Crazy stuff. Doing some yoga stretches to regain muscle tone. AND, trying to catch up with all of our friends this week that we wanted to visit with last week. Happy new year & pass me a beer.
Read Exporting America by Lou Dobbs. Short & to the point. Scary. Our government is removing our ablility to make a living. To be self-reliant as a country. Crushing any pride we might have left at a job well-done, "look! we made that"...goodbye middle-class! Yes, all for the sake of that bottom line ($$$$$). And the proponents of offshore outsourcing try to obscure the issue by saying that we (Americans workers) don't want to work, aren't productive, and lack education. When it's really alot about money. Outsourcing is cheaper. Why pay us $17 an hour plus benefits when you can pay someone in India/China/insert country here 62 cents and hour and no benefits? In my opinion this is one of the most horrific trends that have come along this decade. Lou gives a list of companies that have outsourced, it's quite lengthy and depressing. Count how many of the companies that you deal with on a regular basis that are on this list...
On the fiction end i am reading Stephen King's The Dark Tower. Noticed quite a bit of sloppy writing in the first third of the book. It's getting better here in the last third. But i still just don't like his having himself as a character, for some reason it's really grated on my nerves. I really dig the Darktower series, and hope it ends well. It's down to Roland, Oy and Susannah now...