Thursday, October 30, 2014


i am in Mom's room with a friend, and notice that the ceiling is leaking, rainwater dripping into a small bucket that Mom has set there. i wonder why she did not tell me about this...i go to get another bucket, and as i open the utility room door, there is more water pouring out of a pipe in there...i tell my friend to come here and look at this! then i get a larger bucket to catch that water, and try to figure out what to do to fix the situation...

my friend & i are in Mom's room on the bed, talking and holding each other and i am wondering just how this is going to work feels odd, but good to be close with him

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

the tiniest dream piece ever

i am comfortably reclined in a lawn chair talking with we talk, she looks at my out-stretched legs and i think that she is noticing that i do not shave 

Monday, October 27, 2014

Not Sure How To Feel About THis

My best friend said, "I am not good company now, lol." and declined my invitation to come over to the house.

My daughter gets a pained look on their face every time I walk up to them to speak.

My dog jumped up and ran into the other room when I got close to her.

Sunday, October 26, 2014


i am at Steph's house/work, and she has had too much to drink and thrown up all over the place...chunky, with visible chickpeas and pasta, etc. 

i walk in the door of my house, and then into the bathroom. there is throw up all over the bathroom, sink, toilet, etc. and towels here and there. it is a total mess. i walk into the kitchen and say to the person there, "Steph must be here." and as i speak, i hear a laugh/giggle from the living room. there she is laid back on the sofa with her feet up. there is puke in the kitchen too. i am so angry, she has not made a move to clean any of this up. i think, she can just go back to her own house.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

dream segments

  • i am in a building, (maybe work?) and walking from one room to another when i hear the door open and Alex's (Uncle Kronos) voice behind me. i turn, hollering "Alex!!" and go hug & greet him. we enjoy talking...
  • i am at an event, walking over to put a large pan/bowl back at the stall...i have on no pants & am not concerned about this...i stumble as i walk and laugh at my clumsiness and leg fat wiggle...i put on a pair of board shorts and am made uncomfortable by the feel of the wet cloth on my skin so i decide to go to the pool and have a swim to feel better...
  • i am back working at Crown Books as the manager, i am walking around the many areas there is art hanging, and informational posters instead of bookshelves...i am saddened and disturbed by this as i make my way around the store. i introduce myself to one of the employees, he seems genuinely happy to meet me. i go up front and get on register as a small line has formed. have a bit of trouble getting the register to work, but the family is pleasant about it, we share a laugh. they are exchanging one book which was defective, and buying one other picture book for their child.
  • i am at a hospital and go into the children's ward to relax. there was a lot of negative stuff happening elsewhere, and i needed to chill out. playing on a rolling chair...i help one of the nurses with a child named little georgie who did not want to come in to the ward. i hugged him and spoke with him, and it was all right...

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

the dreaming

D3rek texts me, saying that we should get a roll of paper and some pens and do a NaNoWriMo together. i whole-heartedly agree.

Monday, October 20, 2014

dream segments

  • broken fence section at gate...cohabitor says there have been three phone calls...Rhiannon is loose/out...look for leash clumsily (asleep??)...hear voices, go outside, here comes a woman and her son with Rhiannon...we are in the front yard, the mom talks about the moss on the stump of an oak tree
  • making friends with a woman and her three beautiful little girls, all with curly parking lot, working on/fixing something on my car...end up holding the woman so very close as we part/say goodbye --- later, walking through urban neighborhood, see her and the girls and lots of other people ---then, we move into a townhouse together, just as quickly, she is Chuck, but a tall older female version, and says something abusive to me, so i break up with her immediately. she moves out, back to her house, we do part nicely, i tell her i love her three girls
  • driving on Rt. 15 at the Rt. 55 intersection i see Rhiannon walking on the side of the road, i open the car door and call her, she has recognized my car and jumps in. she is wet, and has some cuts on her side, but is happy to see me...i go visit Maxie and tell him about all of this, we go get some beer and party --- trying to collect all the empty beer bottles from the party to recycle, the setting is a store right by the side of the road
  • go in a country store, patois spoken by the patrons there...i need to pee, the restroom is public, little more than a screened off bucket, really...a man watches and comments about me the entire time i urinate. i have a lot of urine and it feels very good when i am done
  • make friends with a woman, we have a very stimulating discussion about adventure --- later, at the side of the road with another friend, this woman pulls up in her vehicle and shows me/us a pamphlet about some very interesting land for sale in the south of Florida, at the very end of the state...watching out for traffic so she doesn't get hit by other cars, as she has not pull off the road
  • there is an event at the pool/clubhouse area that i am it is about to begin, i run back to the house to get something out of my car which i had forgotten...i cue some music, and see Cindi K. through the kitchen window, singing along to the T Rex song playing...we kind of wink at each other as i run back to the event...another song then plays 

Sunday, October 19, 2014


swimming through deep
with many draglines
(kicking through turbulence)
floating through/and floating over
bold arm strokes/i am
surging ahead
hoping none of these
pull me under
pull me
 to the bottom

small pieces of dreaming

  • 3 or 4 women playing guitar, singing, from different bands/musical collectives...showing each other technique and songs and playing styles...i am close, listening/observing/longing...i wish to be a part of this joyfulness
  • a large cat, with a leash around its middle, is playing with me...we are leaping and chasing and then lying in the grass next to a building which is either demolished or new construction
  • Harry S. wins $40 million on a lottery type mechanized game
  • also trying out strategies for lottery winning are a newly made friend and i...she is lovely and has been part of two other dreaming sequences: in one she is singing with a beautiful voice, soprano/alto register, in another she is at the grocery store in my line as i ring up her groceries we are joking and becoming closer, becoming friends

Saturday, October 18, 2014

plans to dream & live

One of the benefits I have hoped to achieve from not working ALL THE TIME is dreaming well (by sleeping again) and recalling that dreaming vividly, and thus being able to write the dreaming. So far I am sleeping, and the dreamstate is rich, but I have not moved back into the writing aspect. Having just read this quote; "The novelist Mary Lee Settle tumbles out of bed and heads straight for her typewriter, before the dream state disappears." (Diane Ackerman A Natural History Of The Senses), I am inspired to revisit my desired benefit, and revamp my habits. I know that I have been allowing myself to heal from those four years of hard work, so have not tried to structure my time in any sort of fashion. But I have slid into the staying up very late, and sleeping very late mode. Now that less daylight is with us as the Season changes, I feel it might be a good time to gently put myself into a different sleep pattern so as to take advantage of what daylight is available. Thus being more productive, and ward off any seasonal depression that might show up.