Two Beers & A Book

Finally reading Game Of Thrones by George R. R. Martin after all this time! This first volume was published in 1996. The reading is going slowly due to my ridiculous work schedule, but these two DuClaw brews certainly make it smooth. "Double Black Lightning"; an American black ale, and "X-1" which is an Imperial chocolate porter. Brewery located in Abingdon, MD.

poem

and this is why i drove home
this way
this 
wedge of geese
flying from the open sky on the left
across the black tree limb sky
on the right, and on
on and on

Guest Blogger: Kay's Dream

Sandi and I were shopping for Christmas gifts for each other when we happened upon a shop in Manassas that was full of occult items. Things from different religions and cultures were everywhere. We fit right in there. There were colored feather necklaces that invoked the things you wanted in life and statues and medicinal herbs everywhere.

Books Read 2012

Ishmael by Daniel Quinn
Why Animals Matter by Erin Williams & Margo DeMello, 2007
Sea Of Slaughter by Farley Mowat, 1984
The Walking Dead: Volume 1,2,3 & 4
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson, 2005
The Girl Who Played With Fire by Steig Larsson, 2006
Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg, 1993
How I Learned To Snap by Kirk Read, 2005
Valencia by Michelle Tea, 2000
Solstice by Joyce Carol Oates, 1985
A Mask For The General by Lisa Goldstein, 1987
The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle, 1968 (re-read)
Un Lun Dun by China Mieville, 2007
Waging Heavy Peace by Neil Young, 2012
The Wolf Gift by Anne Rice, 2012
Embassytown by China Mieville, 2011
Railsea by China Mieville, 2012
Under Wildwood by Colin Meloy, 2012
The Dirty Streets of Heaven by Tad Williams, 2012
The Wind Through The Keyhole by Stephen King, 2012

Craft Brew 2012

• Tavern Porter – Yards Brewing Co., Philadelphia PA
• Coconut Porter – Maui Brewing Co., Lahaina, Maui, Hawaii
• Dig – New Belgium Brewing, Fort Collins CO
• Black Cannon – Heavy Seas...
• Somersault – New Belgium...
• Summer Love – Victory Brewing Company, Downington PA
• Titan IPA – Great Divide Brewing Company, Denver CO
• Eight Point IPA - Devil's Backbone Brewing Company, Lexington VA
• Imperial Red Ale – Lagunitas Brewing Company, Petaluma CA
• 1554 – New Belgium...
• Amber – Full Sail Brewing, Hood River OR
• Pale Ale – Full Sail...
• Ruby Redbird – Spoetzl Brewery, Shiner TX
• Bock Beer – D.G. Yuengling & Son Inc., Pottsville PA
• Azrael – Devil's Backbone...
• Shaddock IPA – Widmer Brothers Brewing, Portland OR
• Raspberry Wheat – Shock Top Brewing, St. Louis MO
• End Of The World Midnight Wheat – Shock Top...
• Pumpkin Wheat – Shock Top...
• “Boxcar” Pumpkin Porter – Starr Hill Brewery, Crozet VA
• Breakfast Stout – Founder's Brewing Company, Grand Rapids MI
• Centennial IPA – Founder's...
• “Grateful Harvest” Cranberry Ale – Harpoon Brewery, Boston MA
• Heart Of Darkness Stout – Magic Hat Brewing Company, South Burlington VT
• “Old Rasputin” Double Imperial Stout – North Coast Brewing Company, Fort Bragg CA
• “Small Batch 471” IPA – Breckenridge Brewery, Denver CO
• “Tasman Red” IPA – Sam Adams...
• “Dark Depths” Baltic IPA – Sam Adams...
• “Third Voyage” Double IPA – Sam Adams...
• “Grumpy Monk” Belgian IPA – Sam Adams...
• Whitewater IPA – Sam Adams...
• Imperial Series Double Bock – Sam Adams...
• Schlafly Tripel Ale – The Saint Louis Brewery, St. Louis MO
• Double IPA - The Long Trail Brewing Co., Bridgewater Corners VT
• Striped Bass Pale Ale – Devil's Backbone...
• Baltic Porter – Smuttynose Brewing Company, Portsmouth NH
• Merry Mischief – Sam Adams...
• Vertical Epic 12.12.12 – Stone Brewing Co., Escondido CA
• Resin - Sixpoint Brewery, Brooklyn NY
• Brown Shugga' – Lagunitas...
• Belgo – New Belgium...
• Red Hoptober- New Belgium...
• Oaked Big Hoppy Monster – Terrapin...
• Winter Storm – Heavy Seas..
• Winter Ale – Smuttynose...
• 2012 Christmas Ale – Goose Island Beer Co., Chicago IL
• Tidings – Port City...
• Generous Ale – Guinness...
• Kujo: Imperial Coffee Stout - Flying Dog...
• Optimal Wit - Port City...

notes

must remember to write poems and
feed the hedgehog
and
yoga will put me back
on the path
to true centeredness

dream piece

i am on a slow motorized vehicle (much like a store mart-cart) and going down a road/trail...i drive into a tunnel when i hear a loud pick-up truck coming up behind me on the road...i am concerned, as it is the redneck guys i passed by earlier...as i begin to decide on how to fight or flee, they crash right into the entrance to the cave...great! this buys me some time to get away...back onto the vehicle, and off i go down the tunnel, slowly...i realize that Chuck (ex) is with the redneck guys, they appear to be drunk...later, i am home, and looking around at the mess; empty beer cans and other debris...it is the next morning, and Chuck has not left for work, he is still in bed; quite odd...

M. Dove & the Grey Dress

perfect warm December night
makes me think of
perfect warm January
nights makes me think of
the poem about that
the poem
makes me think of
Mark Dove
on such
a January night
walking up the mountain together
teasing & romancing

shattered windshield

excellent conversation and fine
craft beer
the getting to know you &
the kisses
all ending with a crash/
into the light post
if you could not see
that, then i know
the sex would not have been
any good-
on my bruised knee
i walked away

vultures
perched on
hay bales,
one soaring
circles-
a
tableau /beneath the
classic coloration
of the
heavily clouded sky

poem

there is dust in my coffee and is it too much to ask
for affection
for playful attention
 random communication
i ask now
before the dust settles into my
heart

dream segment featuring _+_

derek has come to visit, bringing a new animal companion which was given to kaela by a friend of hers...the small animal is in a cage, looks like a cross between a hamster and a ferret...i take it out of the cage to play, and it escapes! it runs across the room into a corner, through a bunch of dust bunnies, then under the dresser...i try to catch it, but it's quick...i am thinking that it will be impossible to find! i try not to stress about it, even though i must leave for work...later, when i am back home, i am in the room looking for the animal and find that my cats have caught it, and are eating it...there are also a large quantity of kittens that i did not know i had there...over a dozen! i see a quick movement in my peripheral vision, and reach to catch the animal, thinking/hoping that just maybe it might be the one, but when i look, it is one of my cats that i have caught (tyga), and i realize that the worst has indeed happened to the new pet...

Beer & a Book

This book was given to me by a Garden Center customer that I had only just met. After she and her Mom had come through my line, she came back about an hour later and brought this to me, saying that I reminded her of one of the characters. She said the book was well-traveled, and hoped that I enjoyed it. It came from Pikes Peak Library (stamped out of circulation) in Colorado Springs, CO...will register on Bookcrossing.com

This is "Azrael". A Belgian inspired Golden Ale from Devil's Backbone Brewing Company in Lexington, VA

Beer and a Book

Spam Poetry

Kerouac blank Sandi lavatories

assassins banana wigs unidirectionally Sandi mundanely tuber hoisting juxtaposing cartoon currencies
displacements superlative decolletage Monoceros Southern Macintosh Persian sublanguages
Anabaptists tangenital

reeling

that burning sound
you hear
is the smell
of my
mind
readjusting
refocusing
refining

dream segments...

i am looking through the refridgerator for something to eat...there is a lot of food there that i have recently gotten for free, and i wonder how come no one has eaten any of it...so much is in there going to spoil...as i move packages around, some break open, and i become more & more frustrated as i try to clean the spills up and put together food for me...my father is there, and notes my growing concern, he tells me to go ahead and voice my frustration, so i do...as i am telling him all of it (because it is not only about the food/fridge issue) he just says something lame and unfeeling and walks away...i think about how angry i am that i let myself be fooled into opening up to him on that emotional level...

i am in my room watching a football game on TV, and doing something else...one of the players makes an amazing play, and i exclaim out loud about it...my father walks out of his bedroom into the hallway...i ask him if he saw that play...he says "yeah" and walks back into his room...

a young male friend comes over, and we are talking about all types of things as i am getting ready for work...a good time...he says he has something very important to talk with me about, regarding my hectic work schedule, and our relationship...i want to talk now, but must leave for work, i tell him to come back after i get off at midnight, but he is not sure that he can...we hold hands walking down the driveway...

i am just relaxing, hanging out and notice that it is 6 o'clock! i was supposed to be at work at 5p.m. i go into panic mode, grab my phone from where it had been on the counter, but it is not my phone! it belongs to one of the guys who was over earlier! i try to use it to call the store and let them know that i am late, but i cannot figure out how to work it, i get into the photos instead...keep trying, then think just maybe i won't go...what to do?

red diesel Ford

i want to see you drive by
i want to see your face, peeking from
          behind the majestic palms
i want to see
just how much it hurts
stab me slowly
beneath the heart
the jagged knife
i will listen to Nirvana
as i bleed

No Avail

all of my silent pleading
all of the yearning of my
heavy heart

random thoughts & recent notes

• when i am depressed i don't feel real
• fear causes inaction
• when "you're a good person" actually means "goodbye" 
• i am NOT going to stare longingly out of this gate today, no way
• thinking about how i am not thinking about him is making me think about him
• i don't want to go back to feeling like "what's the use? i am close to death anyway"...
• something i am smelling here today reminds me of the beach, and it is filling me with longing 
• in the back of my mind, in my heart, i still maintain hope for us. and this is wrong, so wrong... 
• all of the time & energy i spent this past Spring & early Summer trying to connect, trying to get laid was a massive wasted effort with no results...i could have spent that time gardening...Epic Fail!!!
• i don't miss Chuck at all, and we were together for 8 years...i miss Gordon like crazy, and we only "had" one month...
• everything is changing inside my head