early morning reflection...

dream segment...

i am having to ward off demonic possession...repeated attacks...the way to do this is by very precise breathing techniques and chanting/toning/screaming to a particular volume level and intensity...a woman is leaning over me, up in my face and i cannot tell if she is benevolent or demonic so i begin my breathing and chanting as she speaks into my face...

This is where I wake up, because my "ghostly moaning" woke up my daughter, who texted me, then came into my room to make sure that I was o.k.! Apparently that last vocalization of mine was out loud and very scary-sounding.

Life

Yeah, so...i got laid off from work today.

Angry Beavers

While I do not appear to be completely awake, I do have my coffee and Washington Post in hand.

this is not haiku

steaming leaf compost pile
early autumn morning

Brown Cotton 9/29/2010

abandoned
on the road-
Unconditional Glove

Seeking balance & contentment...

The worst thing is when you let a man get inside your head. They take up way too much emotional space. They fill your head with their thinking patterns, and you begin to self-check yourself based on their criteria. It is toxic. For instance my new job position entails working four late shifts. This only seems to be a problem for me to adjust to because of the man who lives with me. This guilt and stress I feel when I sleep until 11 a.m.? Based on his patterns and perceptions. I have realized this, and will work to remove this negative mindset. Because I am OVER being depressed, and I want to be happy again.

Memories...

Back in the late 1960's, early 70's, whenever we drove through Georgetown, D.C. my father would make us lock the doors of the car. So the hippies wouldn't get us. Yes, my father voted for Richard Nixon.

Near Death By Friend

Driving to work in the afternoon i am almost hit head-on by a huge pickup which was all over in my lane. The truck swerved quickly to avoid impact. Felt the wind on that one. Cussing a blue streak, heart pounding. Make it to work alive, yay! Later on that evening Daisy's sister comes in the store and i holler out a hello to her. She asks me didn't she see me earlier on the road, just missed hitting me? I am stunned! It was somebody i know! I tell her does she have any idea how much i was cussing her? Told her to stay on her side of the road, jeez! What the hell? So she asks if her sis is still there and just roams on off. Whoah.

Tuliptree Silkmoth sighting...

I found a Tuliptree Silkmoth today. It was napping on some moss underneath a mountain laurel. Beautiful. When I brought Chuck over to show him, it flew up up and away. I did not take a photo, I am sorry to say. So here's a link to some info and photos about this beautiful North American moth. Here is a good photo, as well.

tiny VW dream piece...

i dreamed of Volkswagens, lots and lots of VWs everywhere, because it was "Bug-Out" weekend...

And of course, "Bug-Out" weekend is coming up soon, check it out here...

'Rhiannon is a Dog Hero' dream...

there is a serious storm approaching, and we are all feeling a bit apprehensive...Rhiannon escapes out the door, and does not come back when i call her, i am very worried...when she later returns, she has rounded up and brought home a number of black labs in various sizes...when i open the screen door for her, she rounds them up and herds them into the house, then she jets out the door again...when she returns, she has brought a few yellow labs & golden retrievers, and does the same herding inside procedure, then she is off again...she brings back two chocolate labs, one of them quite old...we tend to the oldster and bring them all inside...i am quite proud of Rhiannon, she is a dog hero...she wanted all the dogs to be in a safe place for the impending storm...

The Beauty of Life

At 1:35 a.m. this morning, I heard a whippoorwill! It has been decades since I heard one. My spirit soars in joy.

Uno Haiku

whistling to The Fray, a
white guy in blue tie
branches bend in the Spring wind

Brewpub Dream...

i am interviewing for a job at a very cool-looking brewpub...part of the test i am taking involves sniffing sneakers and identifying which beer had been poured and served in each one! crazy! i am not doing so good, but it doesn't seem to matter, even though the guy testing me has a very serious, severe demeanor...at a later point he tells me that i am not to talk with the other female employees, some thing about avoiding sexual harassment, and i am thinking WTF? i also have a feeling that the other women just kind of blow this crap off, because they have all been friendly with me, and talkative!...there is a delightful variety of beer, both in bottle and on tap...learning the beers, i get to taste samples & apparently you are allowed one beer a day when at work...the t-shirts are also very cool, each featuring a different beer...i am being taught the proper glass-cleaning procedure and serving techniques...hanging around with some of my co-workers after my shift; a dark-haired woman show buys me a beer, wearing glasses and full of smiles & kindness, a buzz-cut guy who is warm and silly and asks for a smooch on the forehead...lots of hugs given here...coming back the next day for my shift, one of the guys & i race to grab an oatmeal stout "for breakfast"! what fun!

Children are people too. Really.

At work last Sunday evening, two of my co-workers and I were having a conversation that touched on children "hating" their parents. M. said that her 17-year old son hates her. T. said that if our kids don't hate us at 17 that we are not doing our job. He said that our job is not to be friends with our kids, but to teach them.
I have heard and read this stance before. I disagree. Why have children if you cannot be friends with them? Why does "teaching" them preclude being their friend? Does being a child's friend mean that you cannot teach them anything? Does being a child's friend as a parent mean that you do not discipline them? It brings to mind the time that a previous co-worker of mine saw me in my car with my infant daughter, she saw me talk to my daughter. She expressed amazement that I would be talking to my daughter, "as if she were a person". Yes, that's a quote. I told her that actually, my daughter IS a person, and yes I speak to her as such. Well, I do have a role model in all this. My mother loved me, was a fantastic parent to me, and was my friend. She taught me much in life. I can only hope that I am anywhere near as good a parent to my daughter as my mother was to me.

American Takfiris

American Takfiris - Politics - The Atlantic

This is a beautiful, intelligently written piece by Adam Serwer. Read and comment.

Waning Gibbous Moon

no amount of caffeine could stop the
somniferous muffin
from sending me to dreams
of convergent orgasms

dream segment...

i am at work, walking around the store straightening & collecting de-shops in a cart...there are a lot of hidden crannies and nooks in the store layout...at the magazine rack i find two empty 1 liter bottles of wine that someone has roughly opened and consumed, i am thinking how did we not catch them doing that? i put the bottles into the cart and continue...making my way around the store i encounter Mr. North working, and we exchange little jokes and encouragement to each other as we pass...i find a hidden corner which has a door that leads outside to a small courtyard, triangle-shaped with a fenced-in area...it is raining...i see a gray squirrel scampering about & when he/she sees me, he looks at me and moves a little closer...i must find some food for this little guy!, so i go back in the store and put together two peanut butter and bird seed globs for the squirrel, as i am doing this, Mr. North comes around through the area and we chat a wee bit about what i am doing...as i go back outside to put the cakes out for the squirrel, he comes right on over, albeit a bit cautiously, and sniffs at the cakes as i put them down, then begins to nibble...

what there is

At the (my) center there
is no spark - there is
A sorrow that is not
sweet melancholy -
that is
a vacant hollow, an oppressive
inertia

Hearth With Mirror

Firewood self-portrait. "The Kind Dyes" VW symbol t-shirt. December 2005.

Cookie Monster House

Here is a favorite place of mine. You know who you are. I love you.

A Book & Many Beers

When I finished reading 'Life and Fate' by Vasily Grossman, I was saddened beyond belief that it was over. I could have read about all those characters for at least another 880 pages. What a fabulous book. Since it was such a big read, a lot of new craft brews were consumed during the reading process. Among them: Chatoe Rogue's "Dirtoir Black Lager. Bell's "Hopslam Ale". Sierra Nevada's "Glissade".

Howard Zinn, Peoples's Historian

The amazing, much loved & respected historian and author Howard Zinn died of a heart attack yesterday. I will miss this speaker of truth. His 'A People's History of the United States' will always be a must-read.

Tornado dream...

i am at the home of a friend...a storm is on the way, we look out the window, i see five tornadoes coming our way...i call out to her about this, she and i run to the basement...i am looking for someplace for us to crouch down under for safety, but she sits on one of the two couches with a pillow, i sit on the other couch which faces her, i also have a pillow...we talk a little bit, but mostly we listen...after a while we no longer hear the loud rush of the storm, so i walk upstairs and notice sunlight peeking out from the clouds...there are other people in the upstairs rooms looking around also...i tell my friend that all is clear, the storm has passed us by...looking out, i can see where the tornadoes touched down around us...there is some debris scattered about...the sky has moving clouds of dark gray and white, patches of blue show through, the storm can be seen far in the distance, moving on...

Dream segment...

i am at a large gathering of people for a music event...each person performing is playing one song...i am going to play Leonard Cohen's "Suzanne" on guitar...i have not cleaned my guitar in a while, so i am looking for something to use for this purpose on the store shelves behind the seating area...i find some baby oil, and say "this will do"...there is a guy i know there who is being helpful...i am next to perform, i get my instrument and walk over to a folding chair, i say "hi!" as i look around the room at everyone...a man seated in front of me says, "just play the song"...there is silence in the room as i leaf through my music book for the song, i think about how i should have practiced so that i wouldn't need the music...i find the song and begin to play, soon i am lost and begin to just make it all up...i am singing with a lot of feeling, however, even if my strumming is a bit bland...somehow i bring it all to a close, one of the guitar strings has frayed, i laugh quietly to myself about this...in the underwhelming aftermath of my performance, i lean over to the person next to me and ask, "am i supposed to play another song?", she replies, "no, just one"...i am glad, as i did not know what i would have played...

Beer & a new cookbook...

RastafaRye from Blue Point Brewing Company in New York. A delicious copper ale made with rye malt and west coast hops. Blue Point donates portions of the sales of this ale to help needy Caribbean children through Tajandadowa.

"Clean Food" by Terry Walters. I like this format, the sections being divided by season. We are making "Bok Choy and Mung Bean Sprout Saute with Peanuts and Scallions" first. See some interesting recipes here.

Ninja Dream

i dream an action/adventure segment featuring Tomoe Gozen...



I am not sure if I was Gozen, or observing her. The dream was action-packed. When I awoke, I was amazed and thrilled that I had dreamed such a thing. I have not read the Tomoe Gozen books by Jessica Amanda Salmonson since the 1980's, when they were first published.

Films Viewed 2009

• King Corn (Aaron Wolf), 2007
• The Darjeeling Limited (Wes Anderson), 2007
• Be Kind Rewind (Michel Gondry), 2008
• Volver (Pedro Almodovar), 2007
• Run Fat Boy, Run (David Schwimmer), 2007
• Appaloosa (Ed Harris), 2008
  
• Gone Baby Gone (Ben Affleck), 2007
• Coraline (Henry Selick), 2009 **at the theatre**
• Brokeback Mountain (Ang Lee), 2005
• Troy (Wolfgang Petersen), 2004
• Shadow of A Doubt (Alfred Hitchcock), 1943
• Screamers (Carla Garapedian), 2006
• Milk (Gus Van Sant), 2008
• Body of Lies (Ridley Scott), 2008
• Into The Wild (Sean Penn), 2007
• Away From Her (Sarah Polley), 2006
• Humboldt County (Grodsky & Jacobs), 2008
• Slacker Uprising (Michael Moore), 2007
  
• Step Brothers (Adam McKay), 2008
  
• State of Play (Kevin MacDonald), 2009
• Pineapple Express (David Gordon Green), 2008
  
• Star Trek (J.J. Abrams), 2009
• A Good Year (Ridley Scott), 2005

Year of Virginia Wine 2009

• Barbera - 2006, Barboursville Vineyards, Barboursville
• Meritage - 2006, First Colony Winery, Charlottesville (52% Petit Verdot, 48% Cabernet Franc)
• DeChiel Reserve Cabernet Franc - 2005, Rockbridge Vineyard Inc., Raphine
• Cabernet Franc - 2006, Jefferson Vineyards, Charlottesville
• Toscanello - 2005, Villa Appalaccia Winery Inc., Floyd (65% Cabernet Franc, 25% Sangiovese, 10% Primitivo)
• Viognier - 2006, Michael Shaps, King Family Vineyards, Crozet
• Rosalie's Rose - 2006, Marterella - Prince Michel Vineyard & Winery, Leon
• Meritage - 2007, The Winery at La Grange, Haymarket
• Vidal Blanc - 2006, Marterella...
• Vignoles - 2006, Rockbridge Vineyard, Raphine
• Viognier - 2008, La Grange...
• "Simpatico" - Villa Appalacia Winery, Floyd
• Rose - 2008, Barrel Oak Winery, Delaplane
• Bowhaus White - 2008, Barrel Oak....
• Seyval Blanc - 2008, Barrel Oak...
• Blanc de Blanc - 2005, Kluge Estates, Charlottesville
• Albemarle Sauvingnon Blanc - 2008, Kluge Estates...
• Albemarle Simply Red - 2005, Kluge Estates...
• New World Red - 2005, Kluge Estates...
  

Year of Craft Beer 2009

• Dark Starr Stout - Starr Hill Brewery, Charlottesville VA
• Odd Notion - Spring '09 - Magic Hat Brewing Company, South Burlington VT
• HI.P.A. - Magic Hat...
• Legend Brown Ale - Legend Brewing company, Richmond VA
• Messiah Bold - He'Brew by The Shmaltz Brewing Company, Saratoga Springs NY
• Hop Devil India Pale Ale - Victory Brewing Company, Downingtown PA
• Storm King Imperial Stout - Victory...
• Brown Ale - The Brooklyn Brewery, Brooklyn NY
• Hop Wallop - Victory...
• Genesis Ale - He'Brew...
• Washington's Porter - Williamsburg AleWerks, Williamsburg VA
• Hazed & Infused - Boulder Beer Company, Boulder CO
• Sierra Nevada ESB: Early Spring Beer - Sierra Nevada Brewing Company, Chico CA
• Old Brown Dog Ale - Smuttynose Brewing Company, Portsmouth NH (label features Olive)
• Troegenator (Doublebock) - Troegs Brewing Company, Harrisburg PA
• Leinenkugel's Classic Amber - Jacob Leinenkugel Brewing Company, Chippewa Falls WI
• IPA - Lagunitas Brewing Company, Petaluma CA
• IPA - Smuttynose...
• Blackberry Witbier - Samuel Adams...
• Stone IPA - Stone Brewing Company, Escondido, San Diego County CA
• Double Bock - Imperial Series - Samuel Adams...
• Imperial White - Imperial Series - Sam Adams...
• Oatmeal Porter - Highland Brewing Company, Asheville NC
• Wacko - Summer Seasonal - Magic Hat...
• Odd Notion - Summer '09 - Magic Hat...
• Lucky Kat - Magic Hat...
• Witte - Brewery Ommehang, Cooperstown NY
• Torpedo Extra IPA - Sierra Nevada...
• Road Dog Porter - Flying Dog Brewery, Denver CO ("Good Beer. No Shit")
• 1888 Bock - Leinenkugel Brewing...
• Unearthly IPA - Southern Tier Brewing Company, Lakewood NY
• Scarlet Lady Ale - E.S.B. - Stoudts Brewery, Adamstown PA
• The Love - Starr Hill...
• Anniversary Ale - Sierra Nevada
• Golden Ale - Legend Brewing...
• Oberon Ale - Bell's Brewery, Comstock MI
• Organic UR Pils - Brauerei Pinkus Muller, Munster Germany
• Organic Hefeweizen - Pinkus...
• Sunrise Weissbier - Victory...
• Festbier - Victory...
• Double India Pale Ale - Stoudts...
• Harvest Fresh Hop Ale - Sierra Nevada...
• Rye Pale Ale - Terrapin Beer Company, Athens GA
• iniquity black ale - Southern Tier...
• mokah - Southern Tier...
• Depth Charge - Terrapin, with Left Hand Brewing & Jittery Joe's Coffee...
• India Style Brown Ale - Terrapin...
• Odd Notion - Fall 2009 - Magic Hat...
• Lager - Legend Brewing...
• Coney Island Freaktoberfest - Shmaltz...
• Moonglow - Victory...
• HOWL - Winter Seasonal - Magic Hat...
• Odd Notion - Winter 2009 - Magic Hat...
• Smoked Porter - Stone
• Tripel - Belgian Style Ale - Red Hook Ale Brewery...
• Organic Raspberry Ale - Samuel Smith @ Melbourn Brothers Brewery; Stamford, Lincolnshire
• The Gift - Starr Hill...
• Organic Cherry Ale - Samuel Smith...
• Jewbelation Bar Mitzvah - He'Brew...
• Hibernation Ale - Great Divide Brewing Company, Boulder CO
• Merry Christmas Happy New Year 2009 - Anchor Brewing Company, San Francisco CA
• Merry Monks' Belgian Style Golden Ale - Weyerbacher, Easton PA
• Cabin Fever - New Holland Brewing Company, New Holland MI
• Alta Gracia Coffee Porter - Wolaver's @ Otter Creek Brewing, Middlebury VT

Books Read 2009

Angler by Barton Gellman, 2008
Bad Money by Kevin Phillips, 2008
Post Office by Charles Bukowski, 1971
The Blind Watchmaker by Richard Dawkins, 1986 (1996 edition)
Fermenting Revolution by Christopher Mark O'Brien, 2006
Family of Secrets by Russ Baker, 2009
Secrets: A Memoir of Vietnam and the Pentagon Papers by Daniel Ellsberg, 2002
Fire In The Lake by Frances FitzGerald, 1972
Back When We Were Grownups by Anne Tyler, 2001
Vietnam by Stanley Karnow, 1983
A Mercy by Toni Morrison, 2008
Bearing The Cross by David J. Garrow, 1986
Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs, 2002
Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, 2004
A Wolf At The Table by Augusten Burroughs, 2008
Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs, 2004
The City & The City by China Mieville, 2009
Dry. by Augusten Burroughs, 2003
Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs, 2006
Drop City by T.C. Boyle, 2003
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski, 2008
Against The Day by Thomas Pynchon, 2006
Blaze by Richard Bachman, 1973/2007
Promises To Keep by Charles de Lint, 2007
The Mystery of Grace by Charles de Lint, 2009
Endless Things by John Crowley, 2007
A Spot of Bother by Mark Haddon, 2006
Bodily Harm by Margaret Atwood, 1982
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy, 1997
Tourist Season by Carl Hiaasen, 1986
Stormy Weather by Carl Hiaasen, 1995
'C' Is For Corpse by Sue Grafton, 1986
Girl With a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier, 1999
Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen, 2006
Digging To America by Anne Tyler, 2006
The Theory of Everything by Lisa Grunwald, 1991
Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco, 1988
Diary by Chuck Palahniuk, 2003
Wicked by Gregory Maguire, 1995
The Absence by Bill Hussey, 2009
The Cobra Event by Richard Preston, 1997
Just Above My Head by James Baldwin, 1978
Under The Dome by Stephen King, 2009
Angel Time by Anne Rice, 2009
Last Night In Twisted River by John Irving, 2009
The Sioux by Irene Handl, 1965
Loving Miranda by Aaron Ankers (unpublished)
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde,1890

Rum Balls & Sugar Cookies...

Mom and I used to make rum balls every Christmas. Some rum for the cookies, some rum for us. She would take them to school to share with the teachers, who would swear they'd get tipsy. It felt good to make them with Melian this year, even though we didn't drink any rum when doing so!

Snow & a Beer

Here is a delicious holiday brew, "Merry Christmas & Happy New Year 2009" from Anchor Brewing Company in San Francisco, CA . Spicy and perfect for this past Saturday, when we got almost three feet of snow. Beautiful!

The book I am reading is 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde. The edition is my mother's "Modern Library" selection from 1945. It is odd how poor the printing quality is.

Rep. Dennis Kucinich @ Lafayette Park Rally...

Animal Mineral Vegetable

downer cows
wolf killing in Alaska and Idaho
experiments on shelter animals

It is way past time for us humans to stop treating the other animals that live on this planet as objects for us to manipulate, abuse and consume.

Our human self-absorption and hubris amounts to nothing more than fallacy of thought; bringing destruction to the living earth on which we all live, and depend on for our survival.

All species co-exist and create a matrix for life and evolution, each with the other. Gaia Theory, partially, without the nihilism!

Thinking about this...

My friend Kitty sent me a forward last week containing some platitudes which I do not even recall the gist of at this point. But I did scroll down quickly to just give it all a cursory glance. Catching my eye there at the bottom was this (origin unknown) quote:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn
out, and screaming "WOOHOO! What a ride!"'

I'm eating all the leftovers.

Nobody ever eats the last cookie. It sits in the cookie jar and dries out. The last sliver of pie always languishes on the plate. It sits there in the fridge desperately waiting. What is it about the last piece of cake that causes it to become so unappealing? Sitting in the fridge all alone? WHAT?

Albino Peacock sighting...

While driving to music lessons this evening, my daughter and I saw an albino peacock walking through the woods. (No, I did not have my camera with me. Curses.) Jaw-dropping amazing. The one we saw was not fanned out at the time like this fellow.

I am madly in love with Stanley...

Please visit the American Anti-Vivisection Society and consider donating your time and/or funds to enrich animal lives and stop the usage of our fellow animals as laboratory experiments.

URGENT: Action Alert at Coal River Mountain

"We need you to stand with us to save Coal River Mountain.

Join us on Dec. 7 at 2pm at the West Virginia Dept. of Environmental Protection headquarters in Charleston, WV for a rally and protest to save Coal River Mountain.

Massey Energy is actively blasting and mining on Coal River Mountain in southern West Virginia. The blasting is taking place only a few hundred feet away from the Brushy Fork impoundment dam, which holds over 9 billion gallons of toxic coal sludge above the Coal River Valley. If the dam bursts, it is estimated that almost 1000 people who live, work and go to school would lose their lives."

Also see: Coal River Wind & Coal River Mountain Watch

"America's Favorite Animal Shelter"

Fauquier SPCA is the shelter that I voted for in Care2 & Adopt-a-Pet's "America's Favorite Animal Shelter" contest. Please consider doing the same, or go vote for your own favorite!

We do NOT need more nuclear plants: "Three Mile Island radiation leak investigated"

From CNN: " Authorities at Pennsylvania's Three Mile Island nuclear plant were investigating what caused a weekend radiation leak that resulted in 150 workers being sent home, officials said Sunday.

An airborne radiological contamination alarm sounded about 4 p.m. Saturday in the Unit 1 containment building, according to a statement from Exelon Nuclear, which operates the Three Mile Island plant near Middletown, Pennsylvania. The unit had been shut down since October 26 for refueling, maintenance and steam generator replacement, the company said.

"A monitor at the temporary opening cut into the containment building wall to allow the new steam generators to be moved inside showed a slight increase in a reading and then returned to normal," the company said. "Two other monitors displayed normal readings."

Three Mile Island was the scene of the worst U.S. nuclear accident, a partial meltdown in 1979 that resulted in the plant's second reactor being shut down permanently.

Tests showed the contamination in Saturday's incident was confined to the building itself, and none was found outside, Exelon said. There was no threat to public health and safety, but the workers were sent home because they could not continue until the area was cleaned, Bill Noll, Exelon vice president, said in the Saturday statement.

One worker was found to have received 16 millirem of exposure, and others received lower levels of contamination. The annual occupational dose limit for workers at Exelon plants is 2,000 millirem, the statement said.

Radiation exposure from a chest X-ray is about 6 millirem, according to the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

Although Noll said it was hoped work would resume at Unit 1 on Sunday, Exelon spokeswoman Beth Archer told CNN on Sunday it had not resumed, as the cause of the leak was still under investigation.

Two radiation specialists from the NRC were scheduled to investigate Sunday. "Numerous work activities were going on in the building at the time the alarm sounded, and Exelon engineers are working to determine the cause of the incident," the statement said." read the full article here...

Virginia Wine & Canadian Cheese extended weekend...

I have been giving wine & cheese tastings at work all weekend. Will continue to do so Monday & Tuesday as well. Tastings of five Kluge Estate wines, and five complementing cheeses (Canadian imports). It has been very interesting and a lot of fun. I have sold three and a half cases of wine so far. Much, MUCH more than the main office thought that I would sell. They predicted that I would sell 7 bottles. Total. I have sold out of three of the wines! Had we received an adequate amount of wines in our shipment, I could have sold much more. I have had to tell many of my customers to return on Monday. So, the frustration has been that I could give my customers a taste of something that I could not actually SELL them because I had to wait until Monday to get more back in stock. Then today it came to not even having any left in the sample bottles for two of the wines. I could only tell my customers about the wine, and implore them to return Monday. But back to the people; there have only been two "spitters". I only had one "wine snob". There have been quite a few who said that they only liked sweet wine, who found out that they liked the dry wines. Then again there was the one young lady who said that she only liked wine if it "tasted like a 'Slurpee'", but she was a fun customer. There were some people who would ask me questions about the wine & the cheese; the SAME questions, four or five times in a row. And, happily,there were many people who were delighted at what I was sharing with them, and we had fabulous conversations about wine & life.

What I sampled out: Blanc de Blanc (2005), Sauvignon Blanc (2008), Simply Red (2004), Kluge Estate New World Red (2005), and Cru.

Beautiful Grey

It is an absolutely gorgeous grey misty rainy day. While taking a walk with Rhiannon earlier, Jesse Colin Young's song "Grey Day" (part of the "California Suite" on the "Light Shine" album from 1974) kept playing in my mind.

Beer And A Book...

I was enamored of Stone Brewing Company's IPA all Summer long. Now, I have found a beer of their making, just as exciting, to quaff all Winter long: "Smoked Porter". Oh, the taste buds rejoice! Peat-smoked malt!

Stephen King's latest book is a delight. In the upper echelon of his output. Huge book, 1075 pages. Another plus, as far as I am concerned. I read it in four days, it never bogged down.

Poke Sky

Lenah

there is snoring coming from behind the woodstove in the key of G

Great news for wolves!

"The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and environmentalists have reached an agreement Friday that scraps a controversial rule the agency had used to kill or permanently remove any wolf that killed three heads of livestock in a year.

Fish and Wildlife spokesman Tom Buckley says the rule "will no longer stand."

He says the agency has ways to deal with livestock kills "and remains committed to assisting the local livestock operators in any negative impacts they may have related to wolves."

Environmentalists complained the three-strikes rule favored the ranching industry and was a major roadblock to the effort to recover the species in the wild. Ranchers responded the policy targets wolves that grow accustomed to preying on cattle.

Several environmental groups sued in May 2008, asking the U.S. District Court in Arizona to stop the removal policy." The Associated Press, November 14, 2009

"Evolve Happy" Update...

My friend Roberto over at "Evolve Happy" has decided to be the sole contributor. He sent out an e-mail to David & I telling us of this decision last week. So no more Monday morning Doom & Gloom from me, or "Audio Treat of the Week" from DB. Please, however, continue to support EH.

Beer and a Book

Magic Hat Brewery in Burlington, Vermont has created an amazing Winter Lager in its new offering called "Howl". The brew is dark and dusky and I love it.

After having this book on my library shelves since my "Crown Books" days, the 1980's, I have finally read 'Just Above My Head' by James Baldwin, which was published in 1979. And I am very glad that I did. His writing was so very deep, emotional and insightful, that I have been inspired to seek out more books by him. He died of stomach cancer in 1987.

How I Feel Today.

I've got to go to work!
It's a thing I'd rather shirk.
But then I wouldn't get paid
no progress would be made
and I'd feel like a jerk.

Seeing a memory with the mind's eye...

I have a visual memory of an event I did not actually see.

While bicycling north, James & I stopped at a grassy place below the parking lot of a roadside motel. We sat down to meditate*. While doing so (eyes closed), I heard a human holler at his dog. I heard the dog come running up to us. I heard and felt the dog sniff me. I am certain that the dog was a German Shepherd. All this happened and yet I continued my meditation. I have always felt that the dog did not bite me because I was so obviously non-threatening. Centered and peaceful.

This event happened in 1976. The other day I mentioned to one of my customers at work that it had been my goal to leave the country for the Bicentennial. She looked very puzzled and asked me, "Why?". I said it seemed like the thing to do. Really! Remember all of the crass commercialization centered around the Bicentennial? Oh, irony.

*Transcendental Meditation

dream piece...

i am driving and Melian is my passenger...there is snow on the ground, it is still snowing...i pull out onto the main road; there was plenty of room to do so, but the car behind me dangerously pulls up close and then passes our car...then they slow down, and fire two shots at our car! i am freaking out, this is crazy! i am very angry...they turn into a gas station, so i pull into the gas station also...the driver gets out, and she walks back toward me as i am getting out of my car...we start yelling at each other...a police cruiser pulls into the parking lot and handcuffs her...another driver had seen what she had done, and called the cops...i give my statement to one of the cops...she yells some stuff at me as the officer puts her into the cruiser...i talk with another one of the officers about the situation, Melian stands by and then tells him what she saw too...

Everything Is A Photograph

taste buds dancing metallic citrus
cosmos breezes spatial foreground
green oak

dream snippet...

i am online checking out the new Pearl Jam album...i am listening to a bit of each song...they are all terrible...i am sad about that, because i had read a really good review of the album in the paper...

'An Awesome Book' by Dallas Clayton...

Thanks to Valerie over at Evolve Happy I have discovered Dallas Clayton and his book 'An Awesome Book'. I am in love. I just bought two copies. Read this book. Feel your mind/heart expand. Hug somebody.

Awesome Book Tour from Dallas Clayton on Vimeo.

Beer & A Book...

With tomatoes...
Sierra Nevada Brewing Company has done it again. Their new Harvest is a fresh hop ale; the hops from New Zealand, picked and flown to California. Delicious.
I picked up Lisa Grunwald's book 'The Theory of Everything' at the library booksale quite a while back. I've been on a fiction kick this summer, so began reading and got sucked in to the story quickly. Read until some time past midnight, even though I had to get up at 5:00 a.m. the next morning!

dream segment...

it is night and i am outside, walking toward my partner who has just called out to me to come over to where he is sitting against a fallen tree...as i settle down next to him, he tells me to look at the sky...there above the treeline, the night sky is visible full of stars, bright and lovely...as the cloud cover moves by, i see two vivid falling stars, one white & one red...i excitedly mention this to him...i see a few more falling stars, none as bright as those two however...i sigh with contentment at the beauty of the night sky...

Daily Acorn...

Our cat Tyga brings us an acorn every morning. She carries it up from the woods to our front doorstep. Usually it is just an acorn cap, but this summer she has taken to whole nuts. This morning's offering is a lovely two-fer. Thank you, Tyga-boo.

New Hubble photos...

Source: Hubblesite.org

Assateague Island as therapy...

Growing up, my parents and I went to Assateague Island, Maryland every summer. Usually in July, as my Mom always had that month off from work. We had a home-made camper on the back of our four-wheel drive International Harvester "Scout", and we would go as far down the island as allowed, and camp right there. It was fabulous. I loved it.

I had not been there since 1989. Unbelievable, but true. Somehow I knew that I had; HAD, to go this summer. So my daughter, my dog and I went; the last weekend of August and into the first week of September. It was a total healing experience. All the depression that had been affecting me since late Summer 2008 just melted away as soon as we hit the beach. I felt centered and alive. It was also the Full Moon that week, so I was inspired as well.

Rhiannon & I took early morning walks every day. The surf was rather rough, so she did not enjoy getting in the water. We still made a game of it, and enjoyed ourselves. She was into the sandpipers, that was her favorite beach experience.

Melian got a bit of sunburn the second day, but that did not deter her from having a very enjoyable time. At one point she asked me, "Mommy, we are coming back here next year, right?" To which I responded with a enthusiastic, "YES!" I had taken her to Rehoboth Beach in Deleware, and Virginia Beach before, but this was her first trip to Assateague. She dug the ponies and the Sika deer. We had a campsite rabbit pal, and red-wing blackbird visitors.

Is it next summer yet?

the deeper question

tonight on this rain dark shine
blacktop driving road
my only concern is
which one of these are leaves
and which ones hopping tree frogs

dream segment...

in my room (which seems like the way it was when my grandfather had come to live with us and my parents had their bed in next to mine for a while...) there is a rectangle shaped box of soil that contains the possibility of a plant of unknown origin, but that it just might grow...after i have discussed this with some of the other people who live here, i watch the plant grow...it is not unlike a carnivorous plant, the top fronds seem mouth-like...it is known that if this plant is fed something (or watered? much like "Gremlins"!!) it will become a feral animal...this has occurred; and i am sitting on the floor in my room, feeling the presence of the animal/monster in another room of the house, and the dread that accompanies that knowledge...it means to do us harm, and i can feel it...i have a hollow pit of fear in my abdomen, and i want out...i tell the others there in the room with me that i cannot take it any longer, and i am leaving...they are upset with me for this, and block me from re-entering the house briefly to retrieve my camera...i say "fine" and take off down the driveway, my father comes out on the porch and hollers at me to return, he has $325 for me, i decline and keep going...i pass through many towns, mostly on foot, sometimes in vehicles...i come to an auto-repair shop, and hang out in the garage with the mechanics*, talking and feeling at ease: safe...my father and mother (?) find me there, how did they locate me?... they drive into the garage and we are talking...i look out one of the windows and see some people next door, it seems to be a school yard activity of some sort, next thing i know, the police are bringing in three animals that belonged to the monster, in cages...i begin to feel fear again...next the police bring in the monster, and my father decides to kidnap it, he hooks the monster's box/cage to his car and we take off...i am so alarmed!!! i can see the monster, and it looks like a cartoon of a dead animal, with black X-s for eyes, but i KNOW that it is still alive and could come to and get us at any moment...i am crammed down in the floorboard of the back of his car (mom is there also) as far as i can go, but i can still see it out the window, and feel the fear too strongly...


*Later I read Charles de Lint's book 'The Mystery of Grace', and don't you know a lot of it takes place in a garage? Grace is a mechanic!

Dream segment...

We are on our way to a music festival...we go into a resturant, but the other people we are with freak out at the prices, so we leave...at another location up the road a bit, Melian see a sign for coffee and asks to stop there, she & I do...the place is also an Irish pub! she gets her coffee and I order a pint of Guiness...I strike up conversations with the bartender and his brother & a couple of other regulars, there are a lot of Irish rockers & punks there! it's great fun...one of the brothers gives me his card as we are leaving, I show it to Melian as we walk out...we walk to the festival entrance...

Thank You, Keith Olbermann (as always)...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Happy Birthday Jerry Garcia...

Jerry, I miss you so much. I am very glad that my daughter got to see you before you clocked out. RFK 1995.

Tuesdays @ Fosters...

I'm sitting at the bar reading the poem
"All Watched Over By Machines of Loving Grace"
which Brautigan wrote in 1967. 1967!!
And suddenly I'm welling up with tears for the beauty of him,
and the loss of him,
and I want the entire world to read this poem.

So, here:

"All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace"
I like to think (and
the sooner the better!)
of a cybernetic meadow
where mammals and computers
live together in mutually
programming harmony
like pure water
touching clear sky.

I like to think
(right now please!)
of a cybernetic forest
filled with pines and electronics
where deer stroll peacefully
past computers
as if they were flowers
with spinning blossoms.

I like to think
(it has to be!)
of a cybernetic ecology
where we are free of our labors
and joined back to nature,
returned to our mammal
brothers and sisters,
and all watched over
by machines of loving grace.

Thank you, Richard

I love a night-bloomer!

The last of the Evening Primroses (Oenothera) in their full glory. There would have been more this year, but the deer found them too tasty to resist. (Insert heavy sigh here)...

And yet, as it turned out, the remaining stalks continued to bloom right up until the first frost; just one or two blooms at a time! Fabulous!

Beer & a Book...

'The Story of Edgar Sawtelle' is an intriguing, deep story. Dogs! Complex emotions, unexpected events! I loved it.

"Scarlet Lady Ale" is a delightful ESB from Stoudt's Brewing Company in Adamstown Pennsylvania. Lots of flavor, lovely color. I must find more brews from this company.

"Catch-22"

Exercise cures depression.
When I am depressed, it is a monumental act to just get out of bed.

Propriety...

I walk down my driveway to the mailbox, a cup of coffee in one hand and the outgoing mail in the other. I am mildly embarrassed; I am wearing my pajamas! Later in the day I walk down to retrieve the mail which has arrived, a cold beer (Sam Adams Cherry Wheat) in hand. I am not embarrassed. I am wearing my string bikini!

Beer & a Book..."Spring Edition"...

'Fire In The Lake' by Frances Fitzgerald is a deeply researched and intimate foray into the mind of Vietnam. It was a fantastic & interesting read. I've had this book for so long! Finally read it, and very glad for the fact. I learned a lot.

"Troegenator" is a tasty, carmel-y double bock out of the Troeg Brothers brewery in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Highly recommended.

Piece of a dream...

i am watching a video about a band named " ---", one of the guys reaches out and squooshes anothers face as he says the band's name, he has red curly hair and a beard... they've just had a new album come out...they are a Scottish rock band, one female & three males...the music sounds really good!

(eclogue)

the morning mist lies heavy
on the fields in
the lowlands

there is a chuck jones cartoon playing across the sky
sam & ralph clock in
and it begins

Word of the Day

eclogue
Meaning: a poem in which shepherds converse

Thank you, Merriam Webster, for this entry. But, seriously? What a niche genre!!! Would any one care to submit a poem in this style?

(untitled)

longing for the sound
whip-poor-will on the back stoop
singing summer nights

rain like drums

i am terrified
i am scared
i am not centered
time is roaring past me
i need to stop
and see
i need to feel
i need to be

unease

I am not centered.
I am scared.

5:00 a.m.

clear mind of chatter
focus on lilting bird song
early spring morning

dream segment...

i am hanging out with a Gypsy performance troupe which has come to the area...one of the men and i fall in love with each other...it is sweet and dark and intense...as the days go by, he is talking about some of the trials of his life, as he speaks, the pain is visible on his face, even to the point of physical change, as if the pain causes a rash which is an indicator of the severity of experience...another time he says that soon one of must go or one of us must stay to which i reply, "oh yes"...another time i am looking deeply into his face, clear now of the pain...as the troupe is packing, getting ready to depart, it seems that i have decided to go with them, he throws a beautiful brown dress (which is folded) at me,but i note a frown in his eyes and don't know why, then one of the troupe members, a female, naked, with long curly red hair dances up to him and they do a tease routine together...i notice that he looks at me sidelong and i realize that he is testing me, that he must gage my reaction to this routine...after all, they are a performance troupe, and do this stuff every town they visit...i look on thinking all this, and trying to figure out how i feel about it, i give a smirking laugh then.....

the alarm wakes me up and i don't know how i decided to react...

midnight

i reach deep into my innermost being and
bring out a ball of pain which i
hold in my hand, saying "this is that which is holding me back from life"
you reach out, and lifting the orb from my palm
say "i will take this from you and
destroy the anguish"

dream segment

i find a broken skateboard (which is Melian's i think) and instead of throwing it away, i inspect it closely, then begin skating on it...i coast around the patio, cruising over to say "hi" to someone who lives there (is it my house???) then i coast over past Melian to show her...

Russian dream...

i am walking around a department/clothing store in Russia...as i pass through the Men's Department, i notice that there are a lot of very cute young men looking through the shirts...they all have hipster haircuts...some of them are wearing headbands, some sunglasses...most all of them are wearing and/or looking at open plaid oxford shirts...i think of how i need to tell Melian about this amazing array of cute Russian guys, so i call her on my cell phone...

EARTH HOUR 2009

Candles and woodstove fire. Talk about movies we've seen recently, and Roman history. Laugh a lot. Play with and love up Rhiannon. Melian plays "Animal Crossing" on the DS. The cats lounge about and come over for head rubs. Joonie attacks my hair, and purrs. (March 28th, 8:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.)

slice of dreaming...

i come back home from work and there is a lot going on at the house where i live...lots of people...preparations being made for some sort of event...joey is there helping with the music...i am trying to remember a certain song, and am having no luck, so i grab a laptop that no one is using and try to search it out...the laptop grows increasingly difficult to use; the buttons grow smaller and the search capabilities more and more esoteric...

3/16/2009...moon in Sagittarius...

apply myself in detail to those things that matter to me
pay attention to
those things that i love
settle into
what brings me peace of mind and contentment

of late
my attention diffused and wandering
in depression/it
has given me a sense of time flying away
a feeling of fatality and pointlessness
of self

dream segment...

i am on my lunch break from work, and i am in a grocery store buying something to eat...i look across to one of the other registers, and there is Tracey (Ray's ex- wife) buying some stuff also...i have not seen her in a long while, so i try to get her attention, finally somebody else gets her to look over at me, and we walk over and talk...soon we are taking our lunch together, then drinking a few beers...we never go back to work, we walk and talk, then drive to my house...i apologize for the mess, i tell her that i have not vacuumed in a week...we hang out some more, i worry about not having returned to work, she doesn't seem to care...she used to work at the place where i do now, she calls a guy who works there on her cellphone and tells him that i have gotten drunk...that kind of makes me angry, i have had only 2 beers, i am not drunk! so we sit on the couch/bed talking more, i say we should go get some more beer...she stands up and stretches and says that she needs to leave...this also angers me, as i have not gone back to work mostly at her suggestion, and now she is leaving? what am i to do? i have been upset the entire time by the nagging fact that i do not know the phone number to my place of work, so i could not call them and tell them of my plight, and Tracey was no help with that at all...

amalgam of workplaces dream...

i am at work...i am doing something around the back of the store, which is like Crown Books, but i am also working with groceries...i move to the front of the store and notice some customers who look like they need some help...i assist them in making their ice cream selection (oh no! Coldstone Creamery!), actually it is sorbet that i am going to pack for them and they will pick it up on their return...they are quite happy as they leave the store...then i begin putting the sorbet blend together for them, but the flavors keep changing, and the containers keep morphing, so it is rather difficult...the flavor containers are on shelves on the wall, the wall that was the fiction paperback wall at Crown...

dreaming of breakfast...

i ask Melian what she wants for breakfast, and she tells me, "Pancakes. Today and forever."

I am in the kitchen doing dishes when i remember this dream piece. The memory is so strong that i am not at all sure whether it was a dream or not. So when i am doing my shopping after work, i make sure to buy some all-natural pancake mix just in case!!

dream segment...

my partner (male) and i are going to start a resturant, we have bought a fabulous space in which to do this...it's an old farm-type building, just beautiful...as we are making plans for opening, we are garnering the assistance of a friend (female) of ours in the food preparation...next thing i know, she is bringing dishes in and setting up...it all starts to take off without me, i don't know what to do! i am getting frustrated and worried and confused as each moment brings something else along that has been done without any input from me! we're open, we have customers, we have all sorts of new employees: waitstaff, chefs/cooks, etc. i am walking around trying to get a grip on this, it's crazy...i go to clean tables, put out clean silverware...i find a lot of dirty untensils and ask someone if we have a place for washing the silverware! i find a tray of soapy water for the purpose of soaking the dirty untensils so i drop them in...then i try to get clean stuff out on the tables, put it's all so unorganized that it makes the task very difficult...we even have plastic forks & all to keep up with...i wonder if i will be able to get it all under control...

Beer & a Book

"Hazed & Infused" is a dry-hopped ale from Boulder Beer Company in Colorado. Tasty, with a really good aftertaste. Part of their 'Looking Glass' beer series. I've been on a real hop adventure recently, and this one fits right in quite well. Unfiltered also, yeah!

'Secrets: A Memoir of Vietnam and the Pentagon Papers' by Daniel Ellsberg is truly riveting due to the in-depth detail of his research, clearances, education and emotional perspectives on the Vietnam war situation. I am learning ever more about this historical period during which I grew up. Recommended quite highly. Visit Ellsberg's website here...

@ the 9:30 Club, April 7, 2009...

Oh, yes, yes, yes! I hope to go to this show. I am a big fan of Digable Planets.