dream pieces...

i am at work, trying to open my locker...i cannot get the combination correctly, no matter how many different ways i try, and the lock keeps changing...i grow worried, for i fear that i will be late...i try to get help

i am looking for a slide to put [something] on so that we can view it under the microscope...

dream...

there is a big meeting about to happen...i am talking with another attendee, and she says that Sage S. is going to also be here...i am excited about this, and look for him as more people begin to arrive, as more people sit in the chairs provided, as more cars pull into the parking lot

i go into a public restroom, in the stall i am pulling up my pants after urinating...two young boys, teenagers, have come into the restroom, one is standing inside the stall that i am in as the door was open...i tell him that i will be done in just a moment, or that he could go to the men's room across the hall...the two of them go out the door to the other restroom...as i am walking out i mention to anyone that men have been coming into the women's room all day! - then i am in the men's room scooping kitty crunchies back into the container there (which is like the air hand dryer)...a tall man walks into the restroom and tells me that he is going into the stall there, i tell him that i was just cleaning up, adding more toilet paper for them and all...we both say "o.k.!" to each other and i exit

depressed in my dreams...depressed all day - mildly functional, though...what is the point of it all? there is joy, but there is self-loathing...

After Work Walk With Rhiannon

rain rivulets washing washing
tides of
moving moving
we keep stride beside
we walk
and smell and breathe as we walk
as the rain falls sounding shining centering

dream pieces

i am looking for a particular place, and my co-worker Khoshal will help me, we are walking with another co-worker...i realize that i know the place, so we just walk together until Khoshal turns down a worn path. i jog over to him to see what is up, he says that he is going back, and i realize that his 15 minute break is over. so we hug, and off he goes.

dream pieces

i am in a car with some acquaintances and we are driving on Rt. 234 in Manassas down by and past the Mall ...

i am at work and two people who might be co-workers forbid me to consume any alcohol in my personal time whatsoever. they are strange/shady characters, i am trying to discuss this with them. one of them keeps insinuating that my job performance is low, and that i have done something wrong, like stealing or such. it is very strange, because she keeps sidling off and not really telling me what she means, or what the issue is, won't look me directly in the eyes...then i realize that it is past time to close the store, so i go to lock the doors, and have a difficult time with that. the customers just keep on coming in, no matter what i do or say...

cartoon dream

i dream a new "Rugrats" cartoon episode...one of the characters is named "Septum", and he does have his septum pierced...it is all very vivid and colorful and very entertaining...

dream

i am in bed and i hear a truck in the driveway...as i look out the window, i see a white construction truck that is attempting to back up so as to leave...they get close to my car and then stop, so i go outside to tell them that they have plenty of room...they are unsure, so i offer to move my car to make it easier for them, so i grab my keys and half-way toss on a t-shirt...as i hurry out front, i notice that it as lightly snowed, and my car is not in the same spot as it was moments before...i back onto the carport, and then as i am moving the car a little to straighten it out, the truck is trying to leave, so i just leave it parked as it is...then as i watch there are white construction vans and other trucks all over the yard, each either leaving or parked around, all of them with different company logos on the side...

My Mom Is Famous

a customer, whom i recognized as a regular, came up to me today as i was hanging tags in aisle #12 and asked, haltingly, if i was related to Betty Worthen. she said with a big smile, that i just look so much like her!! that she had been wanting to ask me. i told her i am glad that she did. and as we are talking, who comes walking up then but Karen Bonita. YES!!! life...

a dream...which becomes Lucid

i approach a door to an apartment building/townhouse, and as i pull it open with my left hand, my elbow bumps into an older white man's abdomen (Mr. Latham) which startles me somewhat as i did not know that he was there, standing so close to me. i step back and say, "shit!". he just gives me a look. i go on inside and get on the elevator, hoping he does not follow me. but i punch the 2nd floor by accident, and come out to an apartment which i think must be his because i notice a strong smell of Ben-Gay lotion. i immediately turn and head for the stairs, figuring that since he is moving slowly, i probably will not encounter him again. once i get back down to ground level, i try going in through another door, but it is still not where i am trying to go. the buildings are old, crumbly and i try another door. when i get inside this place, everything is suddenly quite bright, even though very old and dusty. i realize that i am dreaming (!) as i shut the door. i realize that i am LUCID DREAMING! i am very excited by this, and the first thing i think is that i cannot wait to tell Kay! so, just to be certain, i bring my hands up to look at them. i am wearing black gloves. i ascend the steps, looking at everything in this intense light, noticing every detail...

dream...

i am in Mom's room with a friend, and notice that the ceiling is leaking, rainwater dripping into a small bucket that Mom has set there. i wonder why she did not tell me about this...i go to get another bucket, and as i open the utility room door, there is more water pouring out of a pipe in there...i tell my friend to come here and look at this! then i get a larger bucket to catch that water, and try to figure out what to do to fix the situation...

my friend & i are in Mom's room on the bed, talking and holding each other and i am wondering just how this is going to work out...it feels odd, but good to be close with him

the tiniest dream piece ever

i am comfortably reclined in a lawn chair talking with someone...as we talk, she looks at my out-stretched legs and i think that she is noticing that i do not shave 

Not Sure How To Feel About THis

My best friend said, "I am not good company now, lol." and declined my invitation to come over to the house.

My daughter gets a pained look on their face every time I walk up to them to speak.

My dog jumped up and ran into the other room when I got close to her.

dream

i am at Steph's house/work, and she has had too much to drink and thrown up all over the place...chunky, with visible chickpeas and pasta, etc. 

i walk in the door of my house, and then into the bathroom. there is throw up all over the bathroom, sink, toilet, etc. and towels here and there. it is a total mess. i walk into the kitchen and say to the person there, "Steph must be here." and as i speak, i hear a laugh/giggle from the living room. there she is laid back on the sofa with her feet up. there is puke in the kitchen too. i am so angry, she has not made a move to clean any of this up. i think, she can just go back to her own house.

dream segments

• i am in a building, (maybe work?) and walking from one room to another when i hear the door open and Alex's (Uncle Kronos) voice behind me. i turn, hollering "Alex!!" and go hug & greet him. we enjoy talking...
• i am at an event, walking over to put a large pan/bowl back at the stall...i have on no pants & am not concerned about this...i stumble as i walk and laugh at my clumsiness and leg fat wiggle...i put on a pair of board shorts and am made uncomfortable by the feel of the wet cloth on my skin so i decide to go to the pool and have a swim to feel better...
• i am back working at Crown Books as the manager, i am walking around the store...in many areas there is art hanging, and informational posters instead of bookshelves...i am saddened and disturbed by this as i make my way around the store. i introduce myself to one of the employees, he seems genuinely happy to meet me. i go up front and get on register as a small line has formed. have a bit of trouble getting the register to work, but the family is pleasant about it, we share a laugh. they are exchanging one book which was defective, and buying one other picture book for their child.
• i am at a hospital and go into the children's ward to relax. there was a lot of negative stuff happening elsewhere, and i needed to chill out. playing on a rolling chair...i help one of the nurses with a child named little georgie who did not want to come in to the ward. i hugged him and spoke with him, and it was all right...

the dreaming

D3rek texts me, saying that we should get a roll of paper and some pens and do a NaNoWriMo together. i whole-heartedly agree.

dream segments

• broken fence section at gate...cohabitor says there have been three phone calls...Rhiannon is loose/out...look for leash clumsily (asleep??)...hear voices, go outside, here comes a woman and her son with Rhiannon...we are in the front yard, the mom talks about the moss on the stump of an oak tree
• making friends with a woman and her three beautiful little girls, all with curly hair...store parking lot, working on/fixing something on my car...end up holding the woman so very close as we part/say goodbye --- later, walking through urban neighborhood, see her and the girls and lots of other people ---then, we move into a townhouse together, just as quickly, she is Chuck, but a tall older female version, and says something abusive to me, so i break up with her immediately. she moves out, back to her house, we do part nicely, i tell her i love her three girls
• driving on Rt. 15 at the Rt. 55 intersection i see Rhiannon walking on the side of the road, i open the car door and call her, she has recognized my car and jumps in. she is wet, and has some cuts on her side, but is happy to see me...i go visit Maxie and tell him about all of this, we go get some beer and party --- trying to collect all the empty beer bottles from the party to recycle, the setting is a store right by the side of the road
• go in a country store, patois spoken by the patrons there...i need to pee, the restroom is public, little more than a screened off bucket, really...a man watches and comments about me the entire time i urinate. i have a lot of urine and it feels very good when i am done
• make friends with a woman, we have a very stimulating discussion about adventure --- later, at the side of the road with another friend, this woman pulls up in her vehicle and shows me/us a pamphlet about some very interesting land for sale in the south of Florida, at the very end of the state...watching out for traffic so she doesn't get hit by other cars, as she has not pull off the road
• there is an event at the pool/clubhouse area that i am attending...as it is about to begin, i run back to the house to get something out of my car which i had forgotten...i cue some music, and see Cindi K. through the kitchen window, singing along to the T Rex song playing...we kind of wink at each other as i run back to the event...another song then plays 

poem

swimming through deep
                water
with many draglines
attached
(kicking through turbulence)
floating through/and floating over
bold arm strokes/i am
surging ahead
hoping none of these
things
pull me under
pull me
 to the bottom

small pieces of dreaming

• 3 or 4 women playing guitar, singing, from different bands/musical collectives...showing each other technique and songs and playing styles...i am close, listening/observing/longing...i wish to be a part of this joyfulness
• a large cat, with a leash around its middle, is playing with me...we are leaping and chasing and then lying in the grass next to a building which is either demolished or new construction
• Harry S. wins $40 million on a lottery type mechanized game
• also trying out strategies for lottery winning are a newly made friend and i...she is lovely and has been part of two other dreaming sequences: in one she is singing with a beautiful voice, soprano/alto register, in another she is at the grocery store in my line as i ring up her groceries we are joking and becoming closer, becoming friends

plans to dream & live

One of the benefits I have hoped to achieve from not working ALL THE TIME is dreaming well (by sleeping again) and recalling that dreaming vividly, and thus being able to write the dreaming. So far I am sleeping, and the dreamstate is rich, but I have not moved back into the writing aspect. Having just read this quote; "The novelist Mary Lee Settle tumbles out of bed and heads straight for her typewriter, before the dream state disappears." (Diane Ackerman A Natural History Of The Senses), I am inspired to revisit my desired benefit, and revamp my habits. I know that I have been allowing myself to heal from those four years of hard work, so have not tried to structure my time in any sort of fashion. But I have slid into the staying up very late, and sleeping very late mode. Now that less daylight is with us as the Season changes, I feel it might be a good time to gently put myself into a different sleep pattern so as to take advantage of what daylight is available. Thus being more productive, and ward off any seasonal depression that might show up.